The first time I saw him mad...

Philippines
September 3, 2010 1:47am CST
I have been with my boyfriend for four years and i thought i knew him that much already.., Yesterday his brother was problematic and came to their house.., He blamed his mother for a lot of things he suffered in his life.., he was shouting and whining.., and we were eating in the dining table when he came in.., My boyfriend got annoyed with his brother's disrespect to their mom and the fact that we were eating.., My boyfriend also shouted at him and thrown a glass on the floor.., I felt paralyzed all of a sudden and I was shaking really badly.., I wanted to cry.., and they were exchanging shouts.., his brother said he will kill my boyfriend and all.., i was caught of guard.., i don't know what to do.., i understand that my boyfriend just did that because he was annoyed with his brother but i guess i was just not expecting such gesture.., How about you.., have you ever witnessed such heated arguments in between your partner's family? =( I was brought up in a family with close family ties.., maybe that's why it was a bit traumatic for me..
2 people like this
6 responses
@cream97 (29168)
• United States
14 Sep 10
Hi, deve_annrn. Yes. I have witnessed a few arguments that took place with my husband's family. In 2008, my husband argued with his father. He argued about the fact that his father did not pay him for a job that he had done. This left him short of paying for a motel room for us to stay in. He was inside of his father's motel room. He was arguing and he brought up so many mean things about what his father not being responsible in his life. All kinds of things my husband was saying to him. I sat in the car and I just waited while they all had it out in the motel room. My brother-in-law was there. So was my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law. It was a huge mess! My father-in-law just tried to defend himself but he could not stand a chance. His son spat out many hateful accusations that were true about him. I can understand you feeling very scared when you saw your brother and his brother arguing. I would have been scared if my sibling told me that they were going to kill me. This is the worst threat to ever have to hear from your own family! I have witnessed many other heated arguments in my family. It was mainly with my family that I have grew up with. I hope that your his brother will learn how to control his anger properly.
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
Hi there.., I guess., it happens once in awhile between families.., we cannot prevent conflicts and tempers clashing.., But I was hoping for a little bit gentleness because they have to consider they are families and not just an acquaintance.., They grew up together and all.. and I told my boyfriend about it.., I think he understand why I got so scared.., he witnessed how close me and my siblings were.., and it's the exact opposite with his..=(*
@clocks123 (1228)
• United States
3 Sep 10
yes. i saw a boyfriend i had at the time hit his sister. he slapped her across the face as they argued. i am glad that relationship is over. this could have been me. i didn't want to stay around to find out. do you feel comfortable with your boyfriend. how is his temper with you. what if this happens to you some day when he gets angry enough. i think you would do better elsewhere. if not, then he should stay away from his family. they seem to be a problem to him and will be to you too. the best to you.
• Philippines
4 Sep 10
thank you.. and that's exactly my thought when i saw that behavior..what if he will lost his temper to me someday to.., will he do something violent to me too.., but he has always been gentle with me.., even if i was yelling at him sometimes.., he never showed any signs of violence towards me ever.. i just hope he will never do that again to anyone..
@yspmyl (3438)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 10
I think everyone will have their own tolerance limit, once something that have trigger and over the limit, it will erupt like a volcano. It is the same like your boyfriend, he must be keeping something against his brother and now it was over his limit and cannot stand it anymore and it exploded. So, just give him some time and talk to him that you do not like him to act that way. I think this will help...
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
I guess you're right.., once or tolerance level reach it's peak.., we tend to burst and erupt just like the volcano.., and now i understood my boyfriend better than last night when was still traumatized by the swift change of events.., i jut hope.., both of them will learn to deal with their temper.., They shouldn't forget that they're brothers.., and it's really shameful to their neighbors who heard it..,
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
It doesnt mean that you have been with someone for a long time its already an assurance that you know him or her very well already. I had a friend who told me that she has been married for 10 years and she still doenst know her husband. I dont want that though but it was a lesson I learned from her.
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
Now i realized that..=) and i guess there's more to come that i have to discover about my boyfriend.., and i am willing to accept him for who he is.., that's what love is for.., =)
@mlhervas (482)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
Whew! what an experience you have encountered. I was in your shoes I would have feel the same thing. I haven't experience any heated arguments to such level. But I have encountered some exchange of words. I just let them be and try my best not to mingle in their argument. As for your boyfriend it would be perfectly understandable for him to get mad because first of all he showed disrespect to their mother and also to his guest, which is you. It's really a bad time for his brother to do such things. There could have been other times. Well, I hope everything is fine now with them. :)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
thank you.., i was devastated really.., and i knew his brother for a bit of time already.., my boyfriend warned me about his brother's attitude and they never got along ever since they were a child.., but i thought things like that can be cured over time as both people matures.., i guess it's different with them.., i do hope.., they'll patch things up.., i feel sad for them.., they are brothers for Christ sake! i wouldn't care this much if they aren't! =(
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
4 Sep 10
I have gotten to experience that with my ex, though I never saw him fight with a sibling or something, but I could relate to your feeling the first time I really saw him mad. I mean, boiling point mad at me. I was stirred and didn't expect the hurtful words and gesture, I wasn't able to do anything other than remained silent and froze. I too am from a close family and we don't do the shouting and swearing or acting all crazy and stuff. Yes, there are fights but not that physical or something, thus I stir up easily during a confrontation or a physical fight - even if I'm only witnessing it.