My best friend fall in love with my friend girlfriend, what should I do?

@rhodzptc (1317)
Philippines
September 5, 2010 10:41pm CST
It's been a long since I visited my friends and my best friend we are all part of a band before I get a regular job. After two years I tried to visited them in our church where they used to be a musician but I was shocked with the news that my best friend no longer attending the sunday mass because he had made a big trouble by falling in love with our friends girlfriend and they had started to date together. My friend and her girlfriend has been for almost 8 years and I can't believe the girl dump my friend and choose my best friend instead. I don't hate my best friend after what he did I just an explanation how it happens. I don't know how to start a conversation with him because he might get offended and walk out. My friend already forgiven my best friend for what they did but my best friend can't forgive because of the harsh words he said during their fight. The three of us have been together since our child hood. So, what should I do now?
3 people like this
16 responses
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
Well you are the middle man here so I guess its wise to hear each others side. You are the one to see that they don't get to fight and hurt each other. You are friends and if they value that then they should understand. For now let them be but see to it that they don't throw something bad to each other. Time heals
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
You don't have to start it let them confide to you. You're friends so I guess they could easily tell you about what they feel and what they want to do. Just let them be for now
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
And that is absolutely my role at this moment but I don't know how to start the conversation.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
Well I guess you really don't have to do something. The problem is on the three of them. You might get a problem if you let yourself get involved in between. As a friend of everyone, I think it would be best to know their sides and situation, and understand.
1 person likes this
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
As much as I don't want to get involved I'm already involved in this matter because the friend of mine requested me to send his apologies to my bestfriend for the harsh words he said and also he want me to ask for his forgiveness. Maybe you're right I should hear both sides first but how would I start talking to my best friend about this matter.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
6 Sep 10
Well, perhaps you can start by asking him, how long has he been together with the girl. After that, continue on with the topic of love:"Why do you love her and when did you meet?" Then you can tell him about your friend's feelings and that he's upset and things like that.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
6 Sep 10
This is actually the usual cases that happens as what I have read in other forums about a person that is being in love with their best friend's boyfriend or girlfriend. Although I've already heard that the friends of my boyfriend are fighting just because of one girl.
1 person likes this
@sinaj292 (602)
• India
6 Sep 10
this might be a difficult thing to handle with... i think you can only do according to the situations... i think you should do what the situation demands from you......but very careful to do anything.....
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
And what would supposed to be that?
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Sep 10
its not your fault you had nothing to do with it continue being both their friends.
1 person likes this
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
6 Sep 10
I think it is not so important that your friend also loves with your girlfriend.. but it is mostly important that your girlfriend also loves him or not.. if she loves.. then you may need to talk with your friend.. on that matter.. but as you say that she is your girlfriend.. so tell me one thing are you believe on your girlfriend or not.. if yes.. then why you are worry.. she only loves you..
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
I think you mis understood my story, It's not my girlfriend because I'm a girl it is my bestfriend and my friend girlfriend I'm not involved in their love triangle. I'm just their friend who keeps the three of us together meaning with out me this two would not meet and could not be friends.
• India
6 Sep 10
When your friend has already forgiven your best friend, what is your concern then? It seems both the affected parties have settled their scores peacefully and why do you want to create another turmoil? All those harsh words used during the fight would be forgotten in due course of time. You just maintain your relationship normally as before. Having said that, I doubt the character of the girl involved. She loved your friend for 8 years, what for? his wealth, his character, his affection, what was it? Just switch over the love to another guy after so long a period is totally brutal. Your friend is really to be appreciated for his gesture, despite your best friend betrayed him.
• India
6 Sep 10
ooh so sad to here , but good to know that both are loving each other what could you be worried , go ahead with the talk , every thing would go fine after some times
• China
6 Sep 10
I don't know how to work out this situation between your friends.It is very difficult to say who is wrong cause the love can't be measured by one's only standard.I think you should say nothing about this.IMO i can't date with my friend's girlfriend,I think it isn't moral even love is unreasonable.but some people think when love coming you should go for it in spite of nothing.so I think what you should do is to maintain you guys' relationship.it established when you are children.it is the treasure you should cherish for a life.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
6 Sep 10
aww what a big problem :( anyway you should talk with your best friend yes and ask what happened. also if your friend could forgive what your best friend and his gf did to him how your best friend dont forgive him? im sorry but is normal that your friend said bad words when he knew that his gf was leaving him for other guy. they were together for 8 years and suddenly your best friend is with his gf. is normal that he said bad words in that fight. everyone would. anyway your best friend should really forgive your friend bcs he is too hurt already he doesnt need to carry the pain that cant be forgiven for few bad words he said bcs was so so hurt. talk with your best friend yes thats the best you can do :) and advise him to forgive your friend. we all say bad words when we are angry also what your best friend and that girl did hurt him much. he has to understand that he was totally sad and forgive what he said.
@noodleboy (222)
• China
6 Sep 10
Oh, It is not your fault.athough your friend's love story had been lasted for 8 years,it still probably met the end.if you feel embarrassed when you met the guy, you could wait until he moves on..
1 person likes this
@mimining (203)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
You can also say "Is there something I should know or you want to talk about?" If he says none, then just let it be. He'll have the notion that you want to help out but he'll talk when he needs you. You care about your friends, do they care about each other that much too?
• United States
6 Sep 10
Wow Thats Major Here. Umm Yuu Knoww Im young But Ivee Been in situations Like This but Whith Lets say Monthes Instead Of years. Umm What i doo to be honest Is Just Let ti bee yuu know It wuss Thier decesions And They would Know whats oing on yuu have nun to worry about. Justt try to be normal with it
1 person likes this
@dbeast (1495)
• India
6 Sep 10
A complicated situation.It is really bad to have someone betray another person.And the worst betryal comes whne it is matters of the heart.There have been mistakes from all ends.The best thing to do is to sit it out and talk it out.But it is difficult to put back broken glass.Once there is something called betryal injected inside people it is like a slow spreading poison.Hope for the best and see if things can be sorted by talking things out.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
6 Sep 10
best thing to do is say nothing. let it stay between them. and if one of them try to get you in the middle, this what i tell people; i like all of you but i am not in it. i want to stay friends with all of you.