Do you loose your friend when they get into a relationship?

Philippines
September 6, 2010 3:53am CST
I was just wondering why some people when they have a relationship, they just focus on that person and loose contact with their friends and even family. But when they have problems on their relationship they ran back at you. Recently I just lost a friend because she got married. I barely get in touch with her anymore. Can't she handle having a married life and still having a friend as well. When I have a relationship, it's all the same with my friends and family, nothing changes. I still call them, get in touch with them and even go out with them. I'm thinking now, maybe some people can't really handle that. What do you think?
1 person likes this
17 responses
• China
7 Sep 10
when one person get a relationship, at the beginning most of time they can ignore thier friends and family easily. I think it can understand, but you know, just connect with a persone, and didn't touch with the others like this it's very hard to me, and should widen my freind circle.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
7 Sep 10
Hi santos, I got married recently and my friends left me! Maybe they think that I need to spend more time with my husband and that is very understanding. To tell the truth, I did become more busy after marriage and we have to work on weekdays, so it's only the weekends that we can spend some time together. On the other hand, if my friends ask me out, I would not hesitate to go out with them, they deserve some of my time too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
hi maricris, if you're friend is already married one aspect of change is dealings with their friends and that is the reality because of the priorities change and that change the way of one lives. You must realize also that the relationship with your married friend has to change too. Your friend is going through a lot of changes and should spend the good part of their time with their partners and be given time to bond together. Remember true friends will understand their friends and not to keep their superficial interest over their friends personal life. Just show your friend that you're always their to support him no matter he is already married that what friends for...
@chinoxads (255)
• United States
6 Sep 10
I think, you don't loose your friend, i think that when you get into a long term relation, you see that you don't have the same time to share with your friends, the couples can go out with the friends of both, but sometimes the partner doesn't feel good or just don't know very well those friend, and vice versa. You need to split your time, but it's very difficult, time for the friend, time for the friends of your partner, time for your childs, time for your family, time for the family of your partner, and most important time for you partner.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
6 Sep 10
Sometimes we can lose sight of family and friends when someone new comes into our lives. we are so lost in beginning a new relationship we don't appreciate those we have around us. it's important to keep your ties with family and friends even though something new is developing in your life.
• Singapore
6 Sep 10
I think that happens for a while especially when you are new with the relationship because you have to know your parter better than before to make a good foundation to a lasting relationship. But in my case it's different, my boyfriend before who is now my husband makes it a point that I can still go out with mhy friends, and there are some instances that we go as a group. I think it is a balane on how you handle the situation. For me, we have the understanding that our friends no matter what happen will still be our treasured friends. They are our jewels here on earth and we should not just dump them because of such reason. And of course it is always a happy feeling each time you share your most special moments with all the fiends you have.
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
smile and star - where did they go? have you seen them?
i think some people want to focus on their loved ones.that they tend not to have contacts with their friends anymore. i also find some of my friends who are like that. they just want to be there for their partners,but i do think friends still are friends,and they can always be there in happy times or sad times.it's just sad that we feel them when they have problems.too bad!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
Hi Marichris, It is not that your friend forget you because they have their own family or they are having a relationship. It might be that these are the happiest moments in their life that they dont want anything to end it soon or to be interrupted or they are alse dealing the worst part of it and when it's too much for them to take that's when they come to you. Just let them be like that. It doesn't mean that they are not your friends anymore. The least thing you can do is to be there when they need you. That's what friends are for. Wait for them to come to you or you can call them and say hi and have few chat. When they come to you when they are in trouble because they still treated you as their friend. you are still a friend to them. :)
@thereza (316)
• Philippines
16 Feb 11
not really, it depends on how you establish your friendship. Because I have a friend since elementary but until now were still the same. We still get in touch even we are apart.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
3 Jan 11
Hi santosmarichris, True, mostly this happens among girls. The friendship after married slowly changes and loose their contacts. As they get busy into their life and they make a good friendship with their husband and family. Happy Mylotting
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
29 Sep 10
I think people would have the same normal reactions, especially our friends; Whenever we get into the relationship of course we would have the tendency to spend more time with the person than our friends. I guess friends should and would understand this too.. :D For me, i try not to lose anyone, or i try not to be lost in my friends whenever i have the same case. i know how hard it can be to just be "left out' when a friend finds someone to spend all her time with.
• Philippines
10 Sep 10
lucky for me,some of my friends who are in a relationship make time for a single friend like me.I like being single,and I try to meet single people like me.I rarely jive with people who are after a relationship.if I do get married,I will still make time for my friends.a husband is not the central focal point of my life.most of my friends are younger than me,which is ok since I am young at heart.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
8 Sep 10
I think that the relationships that we have with or friends after they get involved in a new relationship or when they get married does change, but I don't think that you have to lose touch with that person. It is often the case that our friends no longer have as much time for us as they once did, but that doesn't mean that we have to lose the relationship that we had with them. In fact, I really see it as simply a different chapter of an old relationship.
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
7 Sep 10
I believe that you need to be able to juggle well a relationship and a friendship to make both last. But many of us are not able to. It is easier to juggle one, of course, and that would be at the expense of the other. You are a multi tasker but not your friend. In the earlier years of my career that's the first thing I noticed about most of my friends. They just disappeared from sight the moment they went into a relationship.
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
I still go out with my friends even if they have a family and relationship with other people but not so often; before when they don't tie the knot, we spend more time together but it's good that I still have them and we're keeping in touch; sometimes in facebook and sometimes we arranged to meet in places where we usually hang out.
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
I still go out with my friends even if they have a family and relationship with other people but not so often; before when they don't tie the knot, we spend more time together but it's good that I still have them and we're keeping in touch; sometimes in facebook and sometimes we arranged to meet in places where we usually hang out.
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
6 Sep 10
Hi dear, You are absolutely right. Some people don't know how to handle thing in an open minded way. There are a lots of reasons for it. In case of girls, it is a common thing from my observation. Boys are there with more exclusiveness with the new partner and after some time they will come in line. For girls, I think it is a mixed feeling. They want to show that now she is totally dedicated and loving too much and always be him in all respects. In such case, we lose the contact. Even if they are coming to us, they will be in a hurry to pack up and we can visibly feel the difference. This attitude they will show to all. Not only family and friends, in office or anywhere. But it is ok, for some time it is there and that we can understand, till with a new life pattern, they need to settle down and understand the new party well. But some cases are like that they will totally change and never be concerned of others. They are in fact having mental torches like some psychic problems like if she do that, what he will thin, if she talk to him, what he will think.... Such is the case in many occasion. Here we are helpless unless not get a chance to an open discussion. But, if any one is there, catch him/her and call the other person and ask for the treat ... If they are still good friend, they will come in our line. Regards, Thank-s