Love

United States
September 11, 2010 5:26pm CST
So I have been with this guy for almost 5 years we have gone threw a lot I lost my sister and he was there he has always been the person who I can tell anything to. But then I cheated on him and we got threw that that was over a year ago but then something I cant get over is him cheating on me and lying to my face about even after I had been told by two people then when he decided to tell me he said it was only once and he hasn't seen her since then she told me different that he was calling her every night and seeing her almost every night. When I cheated it was one night with a guy who I had just broken up with long story but yeah. Anyway that was like 5months ago and we are still together its been really hard and I think I am falling out of love with him but when I try to talk to him about it he just says he wants to be with me and I want to be with him and I know I do but if there isnt love there I dont want to say together for our kids. Our great amazing kids we have a 3 year old boy and an almost 2 year old little girl and we have been talking about having another one but am i really just trying to fill this void i feel? Or am just trying not to love him so I dont get hurt anymore? I just dont know anymore I am tired of not being with him cuz we dont live together anymore and we arnt going to be anytime soon. Our kids dont really say anything about him not being around but when he is they love him and spending time with him but we are lucky if he is here every other week when he gets paid and he is only here one night then he is gone again. The kids throw a fit when he leave but like 10mins later they are fine I love my kids and would do anything for them but right now I feel like this is hurting them.
3 responses
Angelgirl16
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
12 Sep 10
Hi staciLyn, Certainly, my heart breaks for you and the children. After been with someone for 5 years, not married, with two beautiful children, you would think that life could be great. Unfortunately, it doesn't always turn out that way. You and your significant other seem to be at the end of the relationship. Whether that is because you both cheated on each other, one short-term and one, maybe, long-term. We agree that this relationship is broken, but can it be fixed? Yes, it can be, but only if you both want it to survive. You should have some kind of feelings about how this relationship is going to end. If you don't see you babies' dad, but once in a blue moon, mentally and physically he seems to have moved on, don't you think? Now the question is, what are you going to do? When a girl dates a guy for 5 years, has 2 babies, don't get married, and then gets cheated on, and the guy doesn't seem to want the relationship anymore, what's a girl to do? Does she wallow in self-pity, or does she find a way to survive the pain of letting go of a bad relationship and eventually move on and find a better life? The outcome of your life, not your lives, just your life, is in your hands. In time, you can be happy again. But, you have to be the judge as to how to go about getting your joy back. Good Luck
isaacateko
@isaacateko (32)
• Nigeria
12 Sep 10
hi, stacilyn1988 wow form the look of things you are not married to this guy.well did his cheating start after you first cheated on him? if it did, then his has really not forgiven you and he is trying to get back at you. there is nothing that is not possible if the parties agree to it.if he says he wants to be with you. then he should be with you.you guys should get married. keeping him out of the house will complicate issue.if he wants to be with you, let him come back in and live with his family.yes, it will hurt them and i hope if you they don't grow up to resent any of you.please you guys should seat down together and talk it over and somehow find a way of letting the children to understand. if you are tired of not being with him then be with him. please still be patient with him and show him love despite. love is a strong force to resist. may God be your strenght
spalladino
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
12 Sep 10
There are a couple of issues here that I see. First of all, the trust was broken by both of you and it's going to be pretty hard to get that back when you're not living together. The other problem I see is that the two of you have children who are being hurt. I don't know why you're not living together...it's not my business...but kids need stability in their lives and they need to see their father more than once every couple of weeks. If your guy is a good father he will care enough about his kids to make time to see them more often. You definitely don't need to bring yet another child into this unstable situation. I think the two of you need the help of a professional...you can usually find couples counseling through the health department.