Will you keep loving a person who does not respond your love enough?

India
September 19, 2010 8:35am CST
People are different you know. Some people keep loving even if they don't get adequate response from their partners. May be their love is superior, or are they just dumb? My view is you can die for one who is really in love with you- one who is really interested in you. Who responds your love with interest, who loves you as you love them. May be I sound a bit business like, I still think love should never be begged, what do you think friends?
11 people like this
45 responses
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
19 Sep 10
One should never beg for love, sweetie. That is degrading. You cannot love someone who doesn't respond to that love. A waste of time, if you ask me. Unfortunately this happens to a lot of people and i know that hurts like hell. It can make you feel like an idiot, though. TATA.
2 people like this
• India
19 Sep 10
that's true sweetie. thank God, it never happened to me so far..It does hurt if you don't get response from the one who you love with all your soul and life...It's hell I think as you said. I hope I will never be an idiot.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
19 Sep 10
Be careful for that, Viya, you will actually hate yourself when this happens to you.
2 people like this
• India
19 Sep 10
sweetie, don't worry, I will be very careful.. If some one goes one foot away from me, I will move 2 feet away from them..
1 person likes this
@keval32 (1099)
• India
19 Sep 10
No, I won't. You must get same frequency of love in order to keep your relationship alive.
2 people like this
• India
19 Sep 10
well said, keval32, you are right.
@keval32 (1099)
• India
19 Sep 10
@meluan I am absolutely sure, when there will be one sided love the one who loves suffers. Have you got different opinion abt what I've said?
2 people like this
• India
19 Sep 10
mel, the one who loves you is very very lucky..
@genevy04 (793)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
Well I think love depends on the person. But personally, I would think that love should always be a give and take process.. Because if only one person loves more than the other, then I think it won't work out that well for them. besides, how can you say you are happy with something when you know deep inside that you are not loved back?? Loving isn't always about the heart at all.. Our mind is higher than where our heart is, and so we should always take into consideration that we don't have to give and give love to someone who can't do the same for us.. But few still would hope that someday that person will learn to love them as much as they do to them, but it depends to the person already. As you said, people are different. People don't always have the same perspectives as the others..
• India
19 Sep 10
You are right genevy04, I am happy to note you have clear views on this subject. I do agree that some people may hope that someday that person would learn to love them back. But there should be some grounds to wait for the , right? no use for waiting for a person who takes you for granted, right? You should be smart enough to know the nature of your man/woman.
1 person likes this
@genevy04 (793)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
Thank you for that vijayanths.. Yes indeed, there should always be grounds about loving. It's not always good and healthy to hope for someone who used to take you for granted to love you back. Because more often than not, it doesn't happen. If one just keeps on loving and hoping, and never becoming happy about what they are doing then they are just wasting their time for something they can't even guaranty about. Happiness depends on how an individual views it. Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
well said genevy...
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 10
Although it is always ideal to have love reciprocated, I find that just because a person hurts does not mean you stop loving them However I am one that can over power my desire to not be reciprocated and force myself to end the relationship. As I feel we must love ourselves first before we can expect for others to love us back. A person who persist wanting to love someone when it is clearly stated they do not love you, this is clearly a sure sign that the person does not love them self.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
Hi, hardworkinggurl, I think love has real meaning only when it is both ways. I can sacrifice for a person who is really in love with me but not to a person who does not deserve my love. But it is sad that there are some people who continue to fret for their love even after they treat them like dust.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 10
My guess is that these people have a sense of insecurity as they perhaps feel that they will not be able to get loved by someone else. If only they understand that this sort of thinking only makes them their very own enemy and amounts to low self esteem.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
No, no hardworkinggurl world has too many people there will be definitely one who can respond your love properly. It's a kind of foolishness to live in a imaginary and virtual world hoping to find the change in them.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13895)
• United States
20 Sep 10
If you are asking would i love someone who is not showing me love in return, I would have to say no. relationships don't work if only one person is putting forth the effort. only if one person is giving love. you need to people to put in the work that it takes to make a relationship something really special.
• India
22 Sep 10
You are absolutely right 34momma.It's very true that relationships don't work if only one person is putting forth the effort. Well said.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13895)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Thank you vijayanths
• Indonesia
19 Sep 10
in my opinion if i loving a person that not respond to me i will stop to love him because what am i waiting for? waiting for a love from him that wont never come? it is to wasting time so just talk to her/him if you love em but if they dont love you try to accept that because love cant be forced
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
hi, zmluckyseven, you are absolutely right. I fully agree with you. I am also of the same opinion. well said.
@keval32 (1099)
• India
19 Sep 10
@zmluckyseven Exactly, and very well said. When we love someone what we expect is the same frequency of love, if there's not, there's no meaning.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Sep 10
vijayanths yes we are all different. but yes I would keep loving a person who may not respond my love enough because I knew that he really did love me but he was not the mushy type. So many people equate flowers and candy and gifts galore with the person who loves you madly but yet another man shows his love the most by b eing there for you always, on sensing when you are upset and tired, by going clear ouf to his way to get you something you need. Love cannot be measured by ounces and pounds, love comesin many ways, ant the one who does not seem to love you as much as some other man may just be showing a deeper love by being really caring, and really helpful and concerned all the time. He does not love you out loud professing to all how much, but he will show it in a dozen different ways. No if you have to beg for love, then that love is very unhealthy mentally and emotionally.
• India
19 Sep 10
You can keep on loving him if you are sure he has that love for you. If he is taking you for granted and don't have anything for you, then why should you bother about him? Love needs no begging. Its very unhealthy as you rightly pointed out.
• United States
19 Sep 10
Great question first of all. I have been with the man of my life for six years now and we have been married three years. In all the time I have been with my love there has never been anyone else. We love each other, depend on each other and are each others best friends. We show a lot of affection towards each other both in public and in private. We say I love you in public and for the most part we hold hands. Ocassionally we will kiss in public, but not too often because we do not want to offend anyone. I think that love should never be begged. If two people love each other then they should marry. I feel that it is wrong to marry in fear of dying alone or getting married because of the children. I know of a couple who has been married for 35 years and the two of them never do anything together or spend time with each other. I do not know how two married people could lead such seperate lives. My husband and I do a lot of things together. We both clean house, share the cooking and the yard work. We also go grocery shopping together, bowl together, attend concerts (mostly Country), but yet we do seperately as well. He likes to look up songs on LImewire and I have my crafts.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
wow, that is the way one should love and live randylovesdar. I am so happy to know about you and your hubby. Like you said both should be the best friends and spend time together and enjoy being with each other, this interest should last for ever.
1 person likes this
@abrar11 (95)
• India
19 Sep 10
yeah u are rite.. it should not be begged for.. but wat to do.. we cant forget the 1st love..even they dont give response... but apart frm them if sumbody really loves u then i wud think we should accept it.. because love them who loves u...
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
Yes, that's what I am trying to say on this. If you don't get proper response, well you can move on and there will be some one who will match your love. It is better to forget the unresponsive love and move on to real love as early as possible, life is short we can't afford to waste our time on useless people.
1 person likes this
• China
19 Sep 10
Definitely, I'm not the kind of person to be crazy about a guy. It may be true that I love him, but I will stop loving him immediately if he does not return my love. For me, love is equal to both sides. The person who loves someone is supposed to be loved. If he/she does not respond to your affection, then what's the sense of loving that person? We can't just sacrifice ourselves to love someone. That's kind of foolish. It's better to look for someone whom you love and who will love too.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
well said chenxiaoyue_713. I am happy to note you are a smart lady.As you said love is equal to both sides.I do agree with you that it is kind of foolish to keep on loving a person who does not deserve our love. On the other hand we can die for soem one who is really in love with us, what do you say?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
Many people think that love must be a two way process...They love you and in the same way you love them back... But the one thing that we must always remember that love must be unconditional...it doesn't matter if they love you back...but what matters most is how you love them...true love does not look for rewards of what they do...but instead, they love even the worst part of that loving relationship, without expecting anything in return...that's true love... "Love is patient. Love is kind...it is long suffering..."
• India
19 Sep 10
Hi, princejhaizee all these stuff are really good to read or watch in a film. But in real life I want to be more practical. Love is unconditional, true - if you are in love with a person who deserves your true love, thanks.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
why should one love someone who does not love him or her in return? one should learn to let go. there are others that wait for love to happen.
1 person likes this
@franne32 (695)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
I will never keep loving a person (in a romantic way) who does not respond to my love equally or more. It's better to be loved equally because you can meet halfway on things and you treat each other fairly.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Sep 10
Hi, franne, nice to get a good first response franne. I am also of the same opinion. I do love and sacrifice a lot for the people who love and care me. In a relationship it is very important to get proper response, otherwise there is no use in fretting for them , world is vast, there must be some one who would respond your love equally.
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2113)
• India
19 Sep 10
Yes what you said is correct that we feel bad when our love is not reciprocated.As you have pointed some are mad in love whether the other person returns it or not. I feel that such persons are crazy about other persons personal appearance or some achievements or traits.Better to recede when the other person does nor reciprocate . But such situation we cannot foresee. It is said that you should marry a girl who loves you and not the girl whom you love. Frankly telling we had no such choice as ours was an arrange marriage and we see no problem...
• India
20 Sep 10
yes, chayapathys , that's what I would do. The world is vast with a lot of good people too. Then why should we fret for someone who does not deserve our love?? Some people are crazy as you said on their lovers that they are unable to forget them even if they treat them like dust. While I admire their true love, I also feel sorry for their ignorance.
• India
21 Sep 10
The world is wide and variety of people live. Yourself and myself live in the midst of them.There should be mutual understanding and respect for each other.We can only feel sorry for them.Let us not commit their mistakes and try to learn a lesson from their episodes.
• India
21 Sep 10
well said, chayapathys
• United States
19 Sep 10
I thought I loved my ex but it wasn't Real love. When he disappeared I was heartbroken but it took some heart to heart talks with my close friend and a week to get over him. Looking back it was just attraction. I thought it was love and was willing to love him but as soon as I saw what it Really was, I got over it quickly. Now I'm with a guy who loves me. He " responds to my love with interest." I know I will keep loving him for the rest of my life.Even if he said goodbye today, i would still go on loving him.
• India
20 Sep 10
Hi, sarahruthbeth22 , nice you found the right guy who is equally interested in you as you are in him. You can do any sacrifice for him. Nothing wrong in it.Good luck for you both.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 10
Thank you. I feel blessed.
• India
21 Sep 10
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (68972)
• India
19 Sep 10
Vijayanths - you are going to hate me for what I am going to write, but I will write it anyway. (Its your fault - you start discussions like this) Generally, youngsters - who have just crossed the thresholds of their childhood and are not yet shouldering the responsibilities of adulthood (earning for family), have their minds vacant - without stress. At such times, some movies, songs, poems, books, blah blah fill up that vaccuum. If they are unfortunate enough to meet a person whom they start liking, that person starts replacing that vaccuum. If the entire vaccum is filled, and then this person whom they like does not reciprocate, chances are the youngster will go insane unless there is some reasonable replacement coming up. Now coming to your question - will there be respons - lifetime? I'd say impossible. I bet even Devdas had wet dreams about Chandramukhi. So why do some people hang on to love of their lifetime? I dont think they are insane. They are just not getting it. They are letting their ego interfere with the truth. They still hope somehow things would correct themselves. They are also not being honest with themselves. Just imagine - a person ditches me and goes to another woman, making me a laughing stock, would I really want him or her back - for anything other than revenge - if at all? So either this person is absolutely in love with the idea of eternal love and would have done everything within his or her powers to sabotage own love life for that tragic image, or is too egoistic, and hopes to get back the love only for getting even. I personally dont believe human beings are that charitable. :) Too cynical for you? Sorry!!!!
• India
19 Sep 10
vandana, I told clearly that people are different. If some people are after unsuccessful love, it is better to come out of it. what is the use in simply fretting for some one who is not responding your love. this is my view. You all have the right to post your views. But if you go on restricting on starting discussions, then we will be short of ideas and new discussions. If some one can come out of unsuccessful love, it is the success of such discussions.I hang on mylot for fun. But..
@vandana7 (68972)
• India
19 Sep 10
Hey - I aint restricting you - I am just stating a very realistic opinion - which according to me might disillusion some who are enamored with the word called "love".
• India
19 Sep 10
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
Hi, Vijay.:) I absolutely agree with you that love should never be begged, It must be given freely whole heartedly.:) But, dear, this is just what the mind says. The heart sings a different tune when it starts falling in love.:)Sadly, but this is the truth.... How can we ever say or dictate our heart not to love that person because he/she is adamant of your need to be loved back? Remember, that the heart knows no reasons when it is in love.... However, the heart may or may never get tired of loving that person. Who are we to know, dear? I, myself, can not exactly answer that. My mind wants to give you the very logical answer but my heart is opposing it. Sigh... Sometimes, it takes a lot of will power to not to let the heart fall for someone who isn't for us to love.... A word of caution, LOVE ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THE WORLD, so it is always a hopeful spirit that one day it will prevail despite of the odds and pains...:) La la love to you, Vijay.:)
• India
19 Sep 10
I do agree with you eurekafemme dear. heart will not listen to what your mind say. But life is short, too short, we can't afford to waste our time in waiting. What if they don't respond at all even in future... so it is better to take on a new life and thuis is purely my opinion. My love to you too.
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
I think, my dear, that a long wait will make the heart tired eventually.The life must go on ,indeed, but that doesn't mean the heart stops loving.:) As one foolish person I came to know, it doesn't matter if you will love me back, but, let me love you.For how long she will love him? That even she doesn't know the answer....Pathetic, right? But, it is a choice, mind over heart or vice versa.
• India
20 Sep 10
well said dear
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 10
they say love is blind. i can love them even they don't love me as long as they don't hurt me physically and emotionally. but once they did it to me, my love will vanish just like air
• India
22 Sep 10
oh, that's your limit? yeah there is no point in continuing when they physically hurt you.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
22 Sep 10
that is my limit, i am only human. and my love sometimes rational.
@blueblink (246)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
same as you think, for those who does not respond to your love does not deserve your love at all. For my situation, i am losing hope for my girlfriend because she doesnt respond anything. I am just an ordinary guy for her. I would not like to have same relationship like i had before
• India
22 Sep 10
Hi,bluelink, sorry to hear about your love. I am happy that you want to quit and move on. I am sure you will find a better person in future. Good luck friend.
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
Thanks for your concern, may you also learn on some experiences of our fellow mylotters. Thank you
@SinRealm (559)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
I'm in a relationship where my girlfriend doesn't show much response to my love for her. She's currently living overseas and is loyal to me. But the problem is her interests are seeming more important than our relationship. She would go home here only for her interest and not for me. She would chat with people in the community she's interested in. We rarely have time for ourselves. Whenever I try talking to her she listens but she goes on with what she does. I know if I leave her she'll be sad. But she really doesn't respond enough. I don't know why I'm going on with this relationship. But I still am. Hopefully things improve in the future.
• India
22 Sep 10
I think this is definitely not enough. I think you must find out the reasons for her low interest attitude. If possible to improve the relationship, well, you can continue, otherwise you can move on, this is my opinion friend.
@SinRealm (559)
• Philippines
22 Sep 10
I think its the distance, and I'm locked up in my place while she can hang with her friends. I don't trust her friends cause one of them even hit on her. But you're right, I'll try to change her low interest attitude. Hopefully when she goes home she sets time for me. If not then I'm getting out of this relationship once I get my stuff from her. It'll be really insulting if she goes all the way back from Singapore just to hang with her friends while leaving me out of it. :(