People should always try to show respect unto others. Less confusion arises.

@cream97 (29169)
United States
October 2, 2010 7:35am CST
For the past couple of months, I have been doing a favor, for this older woman and her daughter. Sometimes I will feel that she is taking me for granted. When I lend her something that is mines, she will keep it for hours. Like say for instance, she will come and pick the item up that I have let her borrow. She will come at 10 am and she will be gone for several hours with it. She will not call or come by to let me know that she may be out a little more later. I called her around 5 pm yesterday about what time will she be back at my apartment to bring my item back that belonged to me. She told me that she will be on her way after she gets out of the last store that she was currently in. I really don't like when someone will take advantage of me. Just because I let her borrow something that belongs to me, does not mean that I expect for her to keep it for a long time. She should try to contact me and tell me that she is going to be a little late. She should also ask me if I need my item back anytime soon. When she first called me to ask me if she could come and pick up the item earlier that morning, I told her that it was okay for her to. I just didn't expect for to stay out with my item for long hours. If she had to call me, that would have been different. If she show me more respect, than I would appreciate her doing so. She will take my item and she will have it for hours. She will be at other stores shopping for other things that she may need. I feel that she should do this on her own time. She should use what I have given to her and then bring it back to me. If she has any other things that she needs to take care of, she should do it after wards. So next month, I plan to ask her how long will she be out with what I will let her borrow of mines. And if I need to use my item before her, then she will just have to wait. I don't like it when I let someone use something that belongs to me, and they keep it for hours and they return it back when they want to. I feel that this is not right. I don't have to tell her that she should bring my item back at a reasonable time, she should know better than to. I guess with some people, I will just have to inform them of this. Out of respect for me and my husband, she should not hold onto something that does not belong to her, without asking us, if it is okay if she could keep it for a longer period of time.
3 people like this
9 responses
• United States
2 Oct 10
cream if only this woman remembered that when she needed your items you were there for her, as you could have quite easily said no. If she can remember that the item was borrowed from a kind lady who opted to loan it to her, ugh this is really not much to ask for. I would suggest that when she asks for an item you tell, her what time are you going to bring it back and say I do not mind loaning our my items but I have a problem with having to continually ask it for it back. If this persists then next time think twice about asking for something of mine to be borrowed. This is horrible of her to ask the favor then make you feel bad. I hope she never has the same situation as then she will know what it feels like.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (118210)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Oct 10
It used to be that when you barrowed an item from a friend you brought it back in even better condition than it was in when you barrowed it. Not so anymore. You are lucky if you even get the item back. People now days have little if any respect for others and their belongings. It is a very sad truth.
@Fishmomma (11504)
• United States
2 Oct 10
Sorry your having this problem. I agree with the last poster lending out items and borrowing from others does become a problem many times. I loan out occasionally, but only items that can be easily replaced, if I don't get them back. I wouldn't loan anything to her until she returns everything she has borrowed and be firm next time with a deadline that the item must be returned by. She has shown a date must be set before anything is loaned.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Oct 10
hi cream I still stick to my old motto neither a borrower or a lender be. It defuses upsets and does not break up good friendships like lending something to someone and them keeping it for too long. I have tried to keep from borrowing money or items as it saves so much heartache in the long fun.
2 people like this
@fannitia (2170)
• Bulgaria
2 Oct 10
Hi, Cream, I'm sorry that you have these troubles, but this happens often with generous people like you. I think that you DO have to tell this women when she should bring you item back. Just tell her: "Here you are, but, please, bring it back at two a clock." This will simplify the things and you won't be in suspense all the time. I would suggest also something more radical if there is no other help - stop to borrow your things. THis may seem impolite but it's obvious that you really have troubles.
@dawnald (84142)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Oct 10
I look at it this way, if you want an item to be back by a certain time, say so. If you're clear on when it has to be back, she has no excuses. She can either say she can't have it back by then, in which case you don't loan it to her, or she can say OK. Then if she doesn't bring it back by then, don't loan her anything any more.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
4 Oct 10
Cream I normally ask the Person how long they will need it before I lend it out because if I need it then I will ask them to bring it back earlier or wait till I have used it My Friends or even me if we need it longer we will let the other one know and make sure that it is ok to keep hold of it a bit longer So I would say that is what you need to make plain to this Lady
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
3 Oct 10
Respect for one another is something important for all people to have. If we just show a little appreciation to those around us, this world can be a much better place to live in.
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
3 Oct 10
I think it would depend on what it is she is borrowing, how long she need it, etc. I don't blame you for not liking it if she keeps the item longer than she should, though. Yes, I agree. She should ask a few questions before borrowing it from you. She should also let you know if she's going to be late with the item. If it were me, I wouldn't let her borrow any of my things any more. She doesn't sound trustworthy.
1 person likes this