how to end a relationship in the cool-off stage?

@nikramos (701)
Philippines
October 6, 2010 8:46am CST
what's the easier way to end a cool-off relationship without hurting the guy? a little almost a year and the girl just felt bored with the relationship so she decided to take some time off to which the guy said yes. she was honest and brave enough to say the real reason was her feelings just got off. she doesn't know what happened because the guy was really nice and loving; she just woke up one day, lost the feeling and fell out of love. the guy was willing to wait until she decides to come back. while in the cool off stage, he tells her everyday how much he loves her and he understands the time the girl needs to think for herself. the girl, on the other hand, is trying her best to save the relationship to get the feelings back but unfortunately it has been over a month but none of the loving feeling was back. she didnt want to say she loves him when in her heart she doesnt anymore. she felt she just wanted him as a friend. how can the girl say its over without hurting him too much? if theres something wrong with the views of the girl, what should be done?
1 person likes this
12 responses
• United States
6 Oct 10
Breaking up and letting go is never easy no matte how much we would like it to be. I have had a few break-ups and they always ended badly, for me that is as the guy did not respect and or tell me the truth so it makes it that much harder for me. However, there was this one guy I dated for a bit who bluntly stated that he wanted to end things as he was not ready for a lasting committed relationship. Yes I was still hurt, however I respected him most form other men I have dated as he was honest and or at least courageous to tell me this, as I will always respect him for explaining to me as oppose to the others that were cowards and decided to cheat as oppose to ending things. Either way you see it if one loves the other more than someone ends up hurt. But like I said although very difficult one must be truthful and try really hard to move on.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
hmm so basing on what you experienced doing it bluntly is better even it would hurt at first...it's a good point. i would prefer the same if a guy doesn't feel the same for me anymore.i just hope it doesn't create a negative relationship after, because somehow wanting him to be a friend is still an option.
• United States
7 Oct 10
Good luck with this but perhaps being blunt will be best as holding on and have negative regrets later will sure taint any form of friendship.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
6 Oct 10
Not an easy thing to do, sweetie. Either way she is going to hurt him. She just have to tell him that it's over and done with. I don't think she should be friends with him, though. That will hurt even more. She just have to end it, so both of them can move on. TATA.
1 person likes this
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
maybe friends after some time? would't it be possible?... i mean the girl wasn't breaking up with him because of some other guy or other unforgivable reason.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
7 Oct 10
After a long time, sweetie. It doesn't matter whether she leaves him for someone else or not. Most people cannot accept that it is over and to be friends after such a break-up is more than they can handle.
@kodukodu84 (1576)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 10
It is always better to be done with honesty and never hide it for too long until it gets harder to explain and break up. It is not the girl fault for falling out of the love relationship they had, she didn't do anything wrong, as you said she just woke up one day and realised the feeling has gone. Any of us can never ask someone to keep loving us while they can't do it anymore, we must let them go, free them so they can happily live a new life again without any complicated feeling. No matter what way she will use to try and end the relationship, the ending is still gonna be the same ain't it, which is break up. The guy is still gonna be hurt. But instead of looking for the best way to end it, she shouldn't leave it too long as well, as that will makes the guy's hope bigger and higher. have a nice day
1 person likes this
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
thank you for understanding the whole point of "suddenly" falling out of love... it's a bit hard to explain because i find it really surprising that it can actually happen but it did.
7 Oct 10
The story seems like so strange.I am sure the girl had hurt the boy when she let those irresponsible words out of her lips.Is the relationship broken that easily? "No Feeling"sounds a reason .there are something wrong with the relationship between the two,but the girl just want to get away from it.I think that.Instead,the girl should figure out the problem and tell him the truth.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
the relationship bored the girl... the guy was too nice but something felt missing... it might sound impossible and hard to explain but really the feeling was gone. like i said, she was trying to save it because the whole relationship is at 13 months already (which is still on since there is no formal breakup yet...) and they haven't had a major fight over something too shallow, not ever. it's surprising that she can't get the feelings back even if she wants to continue being with him. how to break it off with a really nice guy is the hard part because the girl had no ill feelings towards him. are you a guy? what do you think about this? how would you want it to be if the girl will be breaking up with you for this reason?
12 Oct 10
en...I am not a boy.Resently I found I fall love with a freshman in our department. Of course,he is junior to me in the school and i am his assistantteacher.Maybe,we have some common hobbies.so...sometimes,I can't wait to tell him the secret. however,I should take my time to get to know him well.I always keep to this rules that being responsible to my decision .We are adults.So how about you?
• United States
7 Oct 10
Well If the woman isn't in love with him or doesn't love him then its still gonna be just as hard, everyone that gets the words I think we should spilt etc. will end up hurt but in time one will heal. So I'd be short and sweet with it and say I'm sorry but this isn't working out, It was great and perfect from the beginning but things sorta just fell out of place I'm sorry, I think we should see other people. and leave it at that.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
omg... i never thought it could be that hard. i mean the words are really simple but it kind of feels awkward..and sad too. can't it be without closure? might sound silly but isn't it easier way to go?...
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
we have different attitude.. maybe some people can do that easily but others dont. if i were you.. just be yourself.. i mean.. just express what would come into you when you face him.. tell him the normal way you could.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
For me in frank way to say that we noticed that our relationship is not good because I hurt so much of what you deed so I end it to say we have to cut off.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
girl wasn't hurt, not even a bit...guy hasn't done anything wrong to her. hard to break it off with someone really nice but harder to convince herself she loves him even if she doesn't anymore. what should be done?
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
cool off is a coward's way of saying it's over there's only either you're in a relationship or not no in betweens end it now and end it fast
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
if you are a girl, how would you do it? if you were the guy, how would you want it to be?
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
28 May 12
I think it's never easy to break someone's heart. I just wish that people could just be satisfied, don't you think? Here's a guy who is loving and wonderful and all, and a girl who just suddenly felt she's bored and decides to leave him. I tell you she will be in a lot of surprise to discover that she could never find someone like that. But I guess that's just life, good men and good women are the ones who are left behind. But I should not worry about the guy, anyone he loves would surely be a lucky person. She should just say it with honesty and keep his pride intact. Regardless how, it will always hurt. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Oct 10
There's probably no way to end it without hurting him, but the girl has to do what's best for her, and staying in a relationship where she doesn't love the guy isn't best for her.
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
dont let the guy wait too long for you girl... its unfair.. just set a formal meeting with him and tell what you feel.. so that both of you can move on with your own life without any worries.
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
dont let the guy waiting too long for you girl.. just set a formal meeting with him and tell him what you feel. So that both of you can move on with your own love life without any worries.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
7 Oct 10
Well, the girl has already made it clear she needs to find the feeling back. When she could not find it back, and does not thing of ever feeling anything for him except friendship, then the girl should be kinder to the guy and end the relationship right away, rather than prolong it. Just say the truth, that she does not love him anymore, she does not want to hurt him, she does not want to make him wait, and she wants what is best for him. Telling the truth maybe hurt the other,but he will appreciate it and respect the girl for her frankness.