imagine yourself in this picture...

Unfortunately the same thing is happening to one of my friends. She was forced to abort her unborn baby because her father threatened to kick her out to the streets. All I can say, as a Christian, is pray. I'll pray that the situation gets better, because nobody deserves that cold tension...

Well in my opinion, there's no use to change someone's view if the person if already a perfectionist himself. Just avoid him and let him do what he likes. Leave the stress behind and live the life like it's normal. We all have our own behaviour, attitude, and personality. No one else can change us except of ourselves. So it will be the same for the father, he's the only one who can change himself when he decide to change himself. So don't expect too much from him, let him be, and leave him alone and be as what he wants to be. But don't forget, no matter how other people acts around us, we can still freely choose either to live happily or live miserably. I hope you get what I mean Always remember, happiness is a choice. Misery is a choice too

Babe...I'm here after few months of being away :) Well, I just received your message and directly reconnected into Mylot to check what is going on as u really made me so worried... My gosh, how could all that happen to that sweet lil baby girl!! she is so adorable!! your dad should have forgiven your sister or if he didn't want to forget; he should then treat his grandchild with love and treat her so well..treating the grandchild well would definitely show that he does care although he doesn't want to talk to the sister... but, in such a situation where he doesn't really listen to others.. what if the sister rent a house and stay with the baby girl? is it safe to stay alone? if not then; try to avoid stepping on the same area where the father is.. Awh gosh, It is really so hard to deal in such a situation :( but I think if I was in her position; I would immediately leave the house and rent a small flat that could be near the working place, and put the girl in the kindergarten, and let the mother & the siblings visit me during the weekends or we go out together but to never step my foot at the house... I know it sounds really hard situation but I think I have to do it if i find no other options...

I had a friend like that. Until she found a job and live by herself and her son, her father would not talk to her. So, I guess, this sister can find a mean to finance herself and her child. That way she can show her father that she made mistake but she is responsible.

Hi annavi, This is quite a tough situation to be in. I think the main problem lies with the father since he can't forgive his "errant" daughter. He could be feeling angry because he felt he has "lost face". Since the daughter tried to reconcile with him and failed, even quarelling in the process, can the mother be the mediator instead? She can persuade the husband to be forgiving or organize something for the family to engage in activities. Her role in the family is important. Or maybe the other daughter/son who is close to the father? A meditator is definitely needed to smooth things out between the father and the daughter.

hi dear.. sorry to know all about this.. I didn't know things are this complicated with your family, or rather, between your sister and your father.. Everyone makes a mistake 'at least' once in their life. That is because we humans aren't perfect at all. We make mistakes and we naturally learn from it. Having done wrong things doesn't mean we could be judged and tagged our whole lifetime with the same mistake, and be reminded over and over again.. After reading your story, it made me feel lucky and thankful for having my father. Because once in my life I have done the same mistake as your sister did, the only difference is I did not give birth without a husband. But still, it was my mistake. But during that time, I never felt that my father got angry at me, and he NEVER EVER did mention that mistake of mine not even once until now.. He was just happy to finally have a grandchild, and that's all. He supports me and I can feel it from him.. It made me realize how lucky I am for having my Papa who understood me after everything I have done to him and to my mom.. Makes me appreciate him more and love him more.. Your situation is difficult. But if I were the sister, I guess if I can, I would live independently and keep away from my father even for a while. Sometimes it is best that they stay away from each other to avoid arguments and fights. There are wounds that heal only through space and time. If the father isn't ready to forgive yet, then your sister should give him the time. I know how your sister feels. It hurts her I know so do the favor and talk to her about this thing. She might need you. Give her some advice. I'm sure time will come that your father will be able to forgive and forget. Besides, if God can forgive, then why can't he??? But the question about what to do during the fight? Well if I was in the situation, I would definitely just be the coach. I won't take sides because it will not do any good for the situation. Just try to calm them down, and stop my sister from talking back to the father because elderly health depends here. Being in too much anger may lead to heart attack and I won't like that. So better not throw some wood on the fire, instead find ways to make the fire stop.. I hope for the betterment of your family dear. And if you need someone to talk to, I'm just here..

Hi Annavi, I'm sorry this is happening to your family. Your dad sounds very set in his ways and so I would not know what you could say that would get him to come around. Is your sister old enough to be on her own? If so then I would advice her to stay clear of your father. This tension and anger is not good for her and it really is not good for the child. As a parent, I do understand that we want what is best for our children and of course we get upset when they do things and make poor decisions. What I can't relate to is the part where your father is holding on to his anger. I have 4 girls and they have all had their share of making poor decisions as we all have. I do get upset because I care so much for them but then we all pull together and work it through. I always have their back and they know it. I'm sorry I could not offer up some better advice but like I said, I really can't relate to your father's anger.

Are u talking about your own family? Well, there's nothing much any of u can do, except for the father in the family. It's his attitude which matters the most. IF he does not change his mindset regarding the whole family, matters can only get worse. The only solution i can think of is move out of the family. ONly this way everybody gets the peace they wanted. ANd who knows by then, father will cherish them more, even though he might not say it

hi annavi... please let me know, is it a real story? anyway, the family has four members right? if i am that guy, then i shall try to search a groom for her first. it will take time. next, i shall try to convince my father that men do mistakes, not god. if he is still rigid. i shall give him a punishment. i shall manage a rent house on that city and will stay with her. later i am damn sure that he will realize and welcome his daughter. have a nice day.

Aw! This is hard... Can't imagine how painful it is for the daughter. But the father should forgive her...

There is a time for healing in such cases. The father might have high hopes for that particular daughter and the disappointment may be to hard for him to handle. The best thing to do is pray. That should be the first and last recourse. Patience is needed on the part of that unpardonable daughter. It might take a really long time for forgiveness to be given. That is a common scenario seen most often in everyday life. That daughter can win the father's respect with proof that she admits that she has done something wrong. Love him in spite of how bad he is showing him. It seems that it's a male issue that needs to be address that only somebody from outside the family and that the father thinks highly of can resolved.

The father should try to look at his own self first if he did something along the way while raising his children. He might have done something wrong that led to the sister getting pregnant. If he can't do this and still refuse adamantly to see his own faults, then I think this problem won't be solved. As to the sister, she should admit her own mistakes and apologized for this. If after apologizing, the father still refuse to open his mind about this, then the sister should just stay away for the moment and let time heal all wounds. This is the consequence that she has to face for making the said mistake. As a sister and a daughter I couldn't say much about this but I'll try to tell my dad my opinion if he listens, but if he doesn't i just have to give my sister the support that she needs as of the moment.

As a father sometimes I heard some dislike from my children but I see to it that I should change it to avoid such mistake. Might be it the situation you mentioned the father is very protective before the bad situation arises, might be dis-appointed. As for me as member of the family, I will try to talk to my father in decent way and try to explain the situation...

i can relate to what you're dealing with except for your sister's condition. My father is a perfectionist as well. he doesn't like being interrupted, and he doesn't give us time to explain reasons for doing something. He always say that we assume or speculate all of the time, but he doesn't even realize that he does it too. all i can say, if i were you, dont butt in. it's there problem. not yours. believe me, there will come a time that your father will realize he did something wrong.

..i just tell my sister ..if father wil always do that to you just get out of that family..you just even find your life in another place..just leave him .. ,.