How to deal with a bad friend......

Canada
November 4, 2010 11:00pm CST
I have this friend who never does anything she says she will. Not just things in life but if she says she is going to call she doesn't. If she says she is going to come over she doesn't. Just yesterday she invited herself to a dinner with my best friend and I and told me she would pay for me, but when she got there she could barely pay for herself. Now don't get me wrong, she isn't ALWAYS like that. Sometimes she just shows up out of nowhere and takes me to dinner or can be a really good listener. I'm just not sure if I'm expecting too much from her or if I should just tell her to take a hike.....
1 person likes this
8 responses
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
5 Nov 10
Hi SoloDee, Welcome to Mylot. It sounds like this friend has some good qualities. Maybe you could just talk to her. Like it isn't good to invite yourself to something and offer to pay and then not pay. I have a friend like that that is just so random. I finally told her not to even tell me that she is going to call or come over because it is just too irritating when she doesn't show. I am the type of person that will wait...just in case and I'll wait for a little longer...just in case she's running late. Then I feel angry when she doesn't show and I had other things I could have been doing. Now, she just shows up when she shows up. If I'm here...I'm here. If not then she will have to try again. She is a wonderful person but this one little fault of hers was just so irritating and ruining the friendship. I love her company and so this set up basically saved the friendship.
• Canada
5 Nov 10
That is really great advice! I think I might have to try it out. Thanks!
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
5 Nov 10
Well, it worked for me. It helped me to stop being irritated with my friend who I really did enjoy spending time with ....WHEN she showed up. Pretty much saved the friendship. We are still good friends.
@jugsjugs (13045)
6 Nov 10
Perhaps you should explain to your friend how you feel,as well as why you feel that way with the way that she treats you.I had a simular problem with a friend and i got so fed up of her messing me around i told her.The thing is she has changed and it was not for the better.So no loss at all to me,she just turns up when she wants now and if i am here i am here and if not well it is tough on her,not me.
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
where did you get her? haha she's just probably using you. on the other side tho, maybe she just wanna be more close to you that's why she keeps on accompanying you.
@majody83 (46)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
i think you should discuss with your friend to let her know how you feels in everything she do.it could make you feel better if you would tell it.it depends on how you say ,you start it with sweet friend conversation and then later on voice it out.you would know whats on her side,for that you will understand.if still nothings happen and nothings change i think you should make a right decision ok cheer up
@airasheila (5459)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
A pleasant day to you SoloDee, With reference to your main topic, as I have read your story, your friend was not that bad at all. She was more of being misunderstood. And that, she want an attention from her friends who surrounds her. And that thru the situation that she creates, she was able to get attentions from you and to your other friends. Especially when she has made an invitation to have a dinner. Nevertheless, your friend somehow needs an understanding. Maybe if you can talk to her heart to heart. Hence, for me, you are not expecting that much. It is just a normal thing. Nonetheless, try to pray for your friend. For this is the only way that will ease up the burden between you and her.
@calpro (933)
• India
5 Nov 10
I suggest you to stay out of your friend.Friendship does not mean to live on others. Friendship means is to share either fun,happiness or sorrow.It seems she is not interested in keeping up her small promises too.It is better to stay out of her.
• United States
5 Nov 10
Firstly welcome to myLot. This my dear does not sound like a true friend to me. However you say that she is a good listener then I think you have not been conveying your feelings as if she was such a great listener and you have been conveying your feelings then being that she has been listening I would imagine this would never happen. So what I would suggest is the next time she says she is going to do something you flat out let her know that you will not appreciate her irresponsibility as you value her friendship but she is valuing yours. Good Luck to you with this as it is quite hard to ascertain really great friends sometimes.
@ika2010 (95)
• Indonesia
5 Nov 10
well..i don't really know the situation you in, but i think it is better if you make boundary ur relationship little bit with her so you don't have to get involve of your life with her so often. and you may tell her about what you are thinking of and feel about your friend relationship with her. maybe she would understand and change the way she is but if she not, without hurting her feeling you should take back of your step from that relationship slow down and have a new true friend. good luck