Do you think that returning to an ex is not always a bad idea?

Greece
November 10, 2010 8:59pm CST
Most people would say that the past should be left behind and advice to always look forward. However, there are times that some of us have considered going back to our ex. Have you ever done something like this and if so, what was it like? I have gone back to me ex twice (!) and now he's approaching me again. I know that probably things won't work out for a third time but I just got out of a long term relationship and I'm emotionally vulnerable. The best thing to do would be to find someone new but I get quite attached to people and I really can't forget my exes. Anyway, I can't really give you enough information on the subject in just a few lines so go ahead and share your experience on this.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
12 Nov 10
well, it really depends on individuals... for me, i never want to go back to my exes because i am the type of person who can't go back to the past... also, none of my exes make any effort to come back to me... so i just move forward with my life... take care and have a nice day...
@simonelee (2721)
• China
12 Nov 10
Never done it. For me i don't think its a good idea to be together with my ex's. After the break ups we no longer communicate nor exchange "hi" and "hello" if our path crossed, as if we really don't know each other. Though my ex's always attempt to be nice but i don't feel like being friends again. If ever me and my current partner separate? Maybe! I do really love my partner and never been this serious and felt love before.
@vangie26 (449)
• Philippines
12 Nov 10
It's not actually a bad idea going back to your ex for as long as the reason for coming back is not to use him or of some sort. It should always be the honesty of feelings that there is still love why you prefer to chose to go back to your ex. But of course, the reason why you called him ex is because you two already broke up fpr a reason. Just make sure when you decide to go back, you're not gooing to go back also to the problems you had before because it will not be to your relationship anymore.
11 Nov 10
I think not if he's willing to work it out and change for the better why not as long as he promise not to commit same mistakes its possible and as long as there still hope and love for each other nothing is impossible for love and forgiveness when it is really mean it.
11 Nov 10
hey ,i think you shouldn't look behind and keep on looking forward ,, in my life ..all my relationships i were so emotional ,loyal and devoted to my partner and whenever any problem appears in our relation i used to solve it to go on ,because being in love with someone gives you the feeling all the time that you have to keep and save that love ,,but for me when i am doing that all the time and keep on giving all the scarifies and all the love and finally i discover that my partner do not deserve that much love or may be he is not a responsible person or do not love me the same way i did ,,when i take the decision like breaking up with that person i would never think again of him ,,i confess that it will be very hard at the beginning but by time everything will get better,, however finding the perfect match not easy but keep on looking forward
@calpro (933)
• India
11 Nov 10
Hi Christinelle, As you are not asking for any advice,I couldn't advise you anything on this but you are asking to share our experiences.In this regard I do not have any ex, I am married to my wife eight years ago and we are leading a happy married life with five years old naughty kid and could say life is good. However,If I were in your shoes I would never go back to any ex because the world is big enough and overly populated as well,so it is not difficult to find the right one for us after trying out again and again. When I have a tried a dress and I find it does not fit me,will I ever try it again? No,but yes if my body has changed to fit into it I may. In the same way if I have changed mentally and ready to accept all the negatives(qualities which made us to part) of the other person in any circumstances then I will go back. From my point of view it is not wise to go back knowingly. Wish you a happy and blissful life. Good luck.
@wongchoiyee (5471)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 10
Oh, I also considering giving a chance. I m not sure about myself "Can I live with him?"
@fianne (1059)
• United States
11 Nov 10
yep, i have experienced that. i went back to my ex lots of times, but now i am so super done with him! i just got tired with him and everything is still the same, he said he'll change for the better, make up for his faults, and he's still the same. he's still texting me now that he wants to get back to me but i never answer his messages. at first, i felt like i cannot get over him since i love him so much, but hey, i was able to move on. and i realized my life is much better without him. my advice for you is, don't find someone new, learn to love yourself first. you will never find a great love if you yourself does not believe in your worth. that's what i realized and what i did so i was able to move on... cheers and good luck to your venture!
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
11 Nov 10
Returning to an ex for a relationship doesn't always have to be a bad idea. it isn't always a turn for the worse. Sometimes a second chance with someone can be a new start.
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
I think it is a bad idea. It really depends on a situation you know, you will only be the one to decide if going back to him will be a good thing. But most of the time going back is a bad move. I too have gone back to my ex twice. (broken up with her 3 times) My 3rd time of dumping her, i did not really tell her that i am leaving her. I just erased her in my life, i never text her, call her and i even blocked her on Facebook. A little harsh, NO. Because getting back with my ex in the first place was a bad idea, I thought we can make it work. (she deserved it) What I'm saying is you can't always assume that I'll work the second/third time around, sometimes you gotta accept that its over. And yeah look forward and grab opportunities.
• Malaysia
11 Nov 10
I understand you. Usually, a girl is very hard to forget her ex. I've been in situation like you where I give a second chance to my ex. Unfortunately, he still repeating the same mistake and break our relations for the second time. I am determined not to give him a third chance and now I am happy with the new one. I think you should do the same thing like me with an opportunity to the other men around you. happy...... :)
• United States
11 Nov 10
I am watching the train wreck that is my brother in laws life after he re-married his second wife. This is marriage number 4 second to this chic. They where violent and crazy the first time around and are all over again just the same way. People only change so much and if it didn't work the first time it probably won't work any other time. If it didn't work twice before it won't work. You are just falling back on something familiar even if it wasn't any good. I would suggest not doing this.
• Indonesia
11 Nov 10
Yes, that's not always bad. Even in some extents that's good idea. We have experienced the same things before. That at least save our time, lol. We have know each other. We have understood what is the good and the bad of our ex. That's nice anyway. If he can promise not to repeat his fault again, so why not? It is the way of loving, forgiving and forgetting.
@beeh13u (1040)
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
I had. He asked for a second chance. He told me that it was a mistake that he left me. He promised to love me again and be true with our relationship. He said that he wont leave me again. But sadly, he did. Just a month ago. But we lasted another year. I don't know if I'll give him a 3rd chance. The reason for the break-up was really trivial. If he comes back, I'll pretend I don't like to be with him again. But if keeps on trying and I can see his effort, then I'll welcome him back. Stupid me :(