Is crying a sign of weakness for men?
By yna410
@yna410 (429)
Philippines
November 22, 2010 7:15pm CST
Why do most grown men don't cry? Is it just their nature or is it because of the myth that crying is a sign of weakness particularly on men? Based on my personal experience, I rarely see men who cry or become quite emotional. It's like they really sustain the idea that grown men don't cry. I know most of us would want to give an impression that we are strong and brave, that we are able to handle or cope up with life's challenges. But not to cry especially for men, does it really help in handling or solving the situation? Do they really need to control their emotions that much? I know we have different experiences and personalities and as for me, I think crying is a normal thing; it is a sign that we are experiencing a strong or intense emotion whether it's a good thing or a bad one. I can say it helps in releasing the tension, it makes me feel somehow better. I know there are certain situations where we really need to control ourselves, our emotions, but to make it kind of like a habit or a lifestyle especially for most men, what's really the catch? What do you think fellow mylotters? Is crying a sign of weakness for men? Why do you think most men don't cry? =)
4 people like this
29 responses
@foofermen (500)
•
23 Nov 10
I actually WANT to cry a lot sometimes, but can never sustain the emotions that made me want to. I did, however, cry for the first time in about a decade, just a few days ago. It felt great. I had so much B.S. saved up over the years and it all culminated when I realized I might lose my children to their mother. She swears she won't do it, but she is a cold, inconsiderate person. I am sure she will try.
You know what she did when she saw me crying? She LAUGHED at me.
I choose to not cry anymore because it is the ultimate expression of emotional paralysis. If you have a problem in your life that makes you want to cry, it is better to spend your time trying to change that aspect of your life, as opposed to laying there sobbing into a pool of your own face mucus. You should at least be trying to cope with the problem somehow, so that you may continue on with your life.
1 person likes this
@yna410 (429)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Hi foofermen. Sorry to hear that story of you and your kids. I get your point. It may also be annoying to see someone laugh when we cry. It makes us want to cry no more. Crying is not just sobbing about the problem, it may just be an initial reaction towards a problem but after crying, of course we also have to deal and solve our problems the right way. =)
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
Perhaps most men can still bear the emotional turmoil within themselves with a situation that would really make others break down and cry.
Not in general or as a stereotype but, men are mostly known to be strong and keeping in control is somehow a way of showing strength, even when its about restraining oneself in expressing sadness through tears. Women are attuned with their emotions and that being a social norm that everyone accepts, its easier for them to do as if its expected or some privilege that women have. Men on the other hand are expected to be strong so, most men do try to maintain such expectations, especially those that possess a lot of pride.
However, when men face such ordeals that would truly test their control to the limits, they do submit to their emotions yet, its either through woe or anger, more so on the latter. Anger is often the case when they still want to regain that sense of control while breaking down and shedding tears would often be associated to giving up on the situation's conclusion.
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Yeah, or even, it is better to do other things than submitting to anger when things don't go the way we want them to be.
Crying, as you have already mentioned, is alleviating to a person's distressing situation. Apparently, more and more men who somehow repress their emotions end up having serious ailments. If they would only let their troubles be known, such ailments would not likely to happen for them.
Indeed, with the mind of our society tolerating almost anything that would allow self expression as well as personal freedom, as much as it should not be something that imposes, we might get to see more and more sensitive men, understanding and so on but, unlikely for those who would easily cry. They might cry but, only in front of those that they might feel comfortable with in expressing themselves.
By the way, thanks for the best response! 
@yna410 (429)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Hi ratyz5. Thanks for your great input. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong when men cry. It's actually quite hard to see some or most men trying to restrain from crying when it's quite obvious they already want to. I know it's also difficult for them to just break down when society has instilled in most people's minds that men don't cry. I think it also kind of affect their egos. But somehow, it doesn't really matter that much today, more people are becoming more acceptive or broad-minded these days. I also think it's better to cry than to get angry especially for those who can't control their anger. =)
1 person likes this
@chupatolas (1)
•
23 Nov 10
well man as woman cry maybe somepeople we never see them cry but we cry all mans cry in the world i dont have any question of that you may be hurted or may been fired ,anywhere anytime a man is crying the reason well we are all humans soo
@lady1993 (27225)
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
I don't thinks it's a sign of weakness, i admire men who have the guts to cry - but not all the time though...that's a different story. I saw a few men cry. I think men really need to cry when they have really big problems and can't take it anymore- they need to let out so they won't get depressed or overwhelmed. Men don't cry because of society, peers and criticism...
@dynzdolina (381)
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
Not necessarily. In fact, I admire men who has enough courage to pour out their emotions through tears, that is bravery, to be precise about it.
@fgb_fritz (278)
• Philippines
3 Jan 11
no, when man cries it means they are true to the people around him.
instead he have shown love, compassion and care :)
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
23 Nov 10
Everything you wrote in your post is true of why men don't cry. You really answered it all.
Men are different. They were raised by all different kinds of people. Some are taught boys don't cry. Some get whipped by parents if they cry. Some were called girls when they cryed.
You know, I was so upset yesterday and didn't want to cry, but no matter how hard I was trying--gritting my teeth, biting my jaw, I couldn't stop the tears. I don't know how men can control it like that and not cry. But I guess it's like everything else. If they've tried not to cry since they were little boys, that's why they can do it now.
I think maybe men with a softer heart will cry easier than a hard core man. I guess if they cry, they don't feel like they are less than a man. I know, I told a little boy one time that it's ok to cry when you're upset, cause he told me his sister said he's not supposed to cry, but she could cry whenever she wanted and she picked on him all the time like sisters and brothers do.
@yna410 (429)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Hi chrytaltears. As you've said, I guess it really depends on the upbringing of a person whether they consider crying as a sign of weakness or not. I hope more people will understand that it's not. Parents shouldn't discourage their kids from crying at certain times especially during tough times just because they find it as a weak gesture or act due to the social norms they have known before. Of course it would be different when men cry all the time. =)
@voldrox (7191)
• India
23 Nov 10
Men do cry, but it's just we don't want to cry in front of others. Probably near your lover, but not in front of others. It's not that crying is a sign of weakness, but when it comes it, we just don't like to cry in public. Maybe when we are alone, thinking about it, we could. Yeah, the society too pressurizes him. It is something very big that he has lost that would make him cry in the public, without being conscious of the people around him. I guess women are more social when it comes to sharing feelings and emotions but you know men are not good in that. 
@yna410 (429)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Hi voldrox. I understand how society puts pressure on people not just about this topic but other issues as well. It makes us quite conscious with how other people are going to react or think about us. It's kind of disappointing and a bit appalling how society creates rules or beliefs that is not that beneficial for some or even for many people. I hope more people will become more open-minded about certain things. =)
@ivanmarginal (675)
• Indonesia
23 Nov 10
Not at all. It is very human. Nothing to do with gender. If somebody don't cry towards something that makes him sad, his humanity should be questioned, lol. Man don't cry, perhaps it's just because of the image attached on man. Man is strong -who says that- so he will never cry. What a nonsense. Man is man, we may cry too.
@xiaoanorincess (237)
• China
26 Nov 10
you know what,the signal here is so bad!so it's the 2nd time I type the same contents!my goodness!ok,getting down to business,this question confused me as well.in my opinion,the reason why they don't cry is that they just want to show the positive aspect of them,that they are fonding of flaunting their superiosity before their friends,that they lack the sense of security.life is harder in this way!
@yippih (101)
•
11 Dec 10
Definitely not, crying is a normal emotional expression of mankind, i got cry as well when i felt sad. I found out that this is one of the good way for us to release the bad emotion and for us to recover soon to the normal state. Then don't feel shame if you cry because of sadness or other people laugh at you. I want to emphasize here crying is not the only right for women, men have the right too. Happy mylotting.
@sunset_haze (97)
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
I grow up never seeing my father cry. That is why I believed before that big boys don't cry. But then of course as I grew older I realized that most of the boys are not really expressive specially when it comes to crying. But if I were a boy, I'd really cry. Why? because when you cry it washes away the hurts and pains.
@ganeshprabhuk (1722)
• India
23 Nov 10
Men are emotionally stronger than most of the women. It can be an inbuilt quality. Most of them dont like to cry. I feel thats a good control unless like woman cry for each and every pretty issues. God has gifted them an good control over tears. Guys good keep it up.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
23 Nov 10
Men cry to let out their feelings when they feel complete with them. There's no rule written that men aren't allowed to cry. But you are right on saying that some men sustain themselves from crying. I find it quite hard to do that. I only cry when my parents scold me because that is the time when i know that i have done something wrong and i wish that i hadn't.
Crying does however make me feel better as you said. It gives me the feeling that something very heavy has been taken from me. It feels really good after that. And always after crying i feel that something good is going to happen. And something good happens most of the time also.
Men crying is not a sign of weakness if you ask me. Then I would say that all women are weak. 
Some men are just sensitive and they are bursting to breakout at any moment. That's all about men. They are also human beings that need to cry once in a blue moon.
Cheers!
Crying does however make me feel better as you said. It gives me the feeling that something very heavy has been taken from me. It feels really good after that. And always after crying i feel that something good is going to happen. And something good happens most of the time also.
Men crying is not a sign of weakness if you ask me. Then I would say that all women are weak.
Some men are just sensitive and they are bursting to breakout at any moment. That's all about men. They are also human beings that need to cry once in a blue moon.
Cheers!
@yna410 (429)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
Hi raviteja_ravi84. Yup, it's really comforting to cry at times. It's good to know you also feel that way. When I see some of my guy friends who doesn't cry or doesn't even get teary-eyed in times of our emotional moments or situations, sometimes I wonder if they are just controlling their emotions because they are embarrassed by it or they just don't really feel what we're feeling about those certain situations. If it's the first reason, it's pretty hard to control such extreme emotions. If only there's no myth or idea about crying as a sign of weakness for men, then maybe it would have been different, it would be a lot easier for others to just express themselves freely. I also thing crying is not a sign of weakness. I hope other men will realize that too. =)
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
NOPE, crying is one way show your respect, feelings, caring and emotions, everybody have freedom to cry because we have emotion. For me no men are nor crying eventhough sometime we did not seen them but they will cry for sure.... see you around
@mhypie03 (683)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
My guy has cried in front me a few times already and partly of those is because I've hurt him so much. So I just hug him to ease the pain. While my brother is a total cry baby because my mom treated him that way and it's not actually good to see it too often because it almost becomes his weakness considering if you are to lead your family.
@yna410 (429)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
Hi Xansus. Yes, there are people who doesn't really judge someone who are more sensitive than others. It would be better if people can act for who they really are or just be themselves instead of being too conscious with what other people might say or think about them. =)
@abnerdu (1)
•
23 Nov 10
There maybe two notes to be the explanations.firstly,men's personality more adamant makes them can't help controling the emotion,as a grown man i have a deep feeling like that.secondly,because of the women,children,olders are relatively weak,so when the difficulties they face,the men must put up a optimistic impression which means they can cope up with the tribulation though it might be a disaster ,at this time ,men's calmness maybe the best mitigative for all the families.
