if you learn that your bf is texting girls that he's claiming his friends....
@angel_of_charm (4134)
Philippines
November 23, 2010 10:45pm CST
and that he just met online on Facebook and found out that he never mention that he has a gf to them HOW WILL YOU REACT TO IT? WHAT WILL YOU FEEL?
this has been the fight of the century for me these days, I found out that he's been texting girls that he met online, he lied about it few times but he also knew that he can never keep the lies that much longer. I got the chance to have conversation with the girls, the first one was polite enough, very diplomatic as I may say that she didn't know that he has a gf and that were living in the same roof, she apologized to me for what happened, I wasn't mad at her she's innocent she knew nothing about us because what he told her is that we just broke up and that he's alone with his life.
I thought I got over it till I saw another text from a girl again,I spoke with the girl telling her that I am the gf and that if she ever knew that my bf has a gf..so again, same story, he never told her..the girl told me exactly the same thing the first one said but this time she wasn't any nice to me at all..I was hurt to hear her say "STOP PUSHING YOURSELF TO SOMEONE TO WILL NEVER LOVE YOU; HE'S MY BF" i was shocked and I admit I became hysterical and mad...Bf god mad at me because I spoke to her, I knew he stopped texting the girl just for me to stop feeling hurt but the girl just wont stop so I thought I just did what's best for us to tell the girl the truth that she's the cause of our fights but he got mad and said I should have stopped when he already stopped. AM I WRONG for telling the girl the truth?
Now I feel like trash, i got too hurt to think that I was living with him but he never let other people know not even his family that I am EXISTING in his life..and he can never see through that..he keeps on telling me I have my share of fault..
SO MY QUESTION IS, AM I WRONG FOR FEELING HURT FOR WHAT HE DID? IS THERE REALLY A VALID REASON FOR WHAT HE DID? OR WOULD THERE BE ANY VALID REASON IF A MAN/WOMAN STARTS TO FOOL THEIR PARTNERS?
thanks for reading this, I guess I am venting...
I thought I got over it till I saw another text from a girl again,I spoke with the girl telling her that I am the gf and that if she ever knew that my bf has a gf..so again, same story, he never told her..the girl told me exactly the same thing the first one said but this time she wasn't any nice to me at all..I was hurt to hear her say "STOP PUSHING YOURSELF TO SOMEONE TO WILL NEVER LOVE YOU; HE'S MY BF" i was shocked and I admit I became hysterical and mad...Bf god mad at me because I spoke to her, I knew he stopped texting the girl just for me to stop feeling hurt but the girl just wont stop so I thought I just did what's best for us to tell the girl the truth that she's the cause of our fights but he got mad and said I should have stopped when he already stopped. AM I WRONG for telling the girl the truth?
Now I feel like trash, i got too hurt to think that I was living with him but he never let other people know not even his family that I am EXISTING in his life..and he can never see through that..he keeps on telling me I have my share of fault..
SO MY QUESTION IS, AM I WRONG FOR FEELING HURT FOR WHAT HE DID? IS THERE REALLY A VALID REASON FOR WHAT HE DID? OR WOULD THERE BE ANY VALID REASON IF A MAN/WOMAN STARTS TO FOOL THEIR PARTNERS?
thanks for reading this, I guess I am venting...1 person likes this
10 responses
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Nov 10
For goodness sake he is not the right man for you when you think of long term relationship. How could he be two timing you and hurt your feelings by spreading lies to woo the ladies to his side. He showed no respect of your existence in his life and your love for him is only taken for granted. It is good that you confronted the ladies that he is having conversation with as it has opened up a can of worms and this should send you the right signal that this man is in fact a casanova who doesn't deserve your love. There is no point of hanging on with this type of man in the hope that he will change. No...it is impossible to change a man's character. A zebra can never change its stripes. I am sure you do not want to live a hellish life with the man you love but who doesn't care about your emotional welfare. Time to move..he really doesn't deserve a place in your heart!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
Hi kelly, it is better to leave and suffer once then to torture your heart for the rest of your life with the man who is every woman's love. He might only bring with him the agony much more in future where children are shipwrecked, hearts are torn and twisted. If nothing works best for oneself, time to see the brighter side of the world. Like many ladies of yesterday and today, they kissed many toads before meeting their prince charming. This is the reality of love and life. We need to seek for compatibility to live in a happy relationship, life is too short to wait for a man to turn into a new leave. He won't change, it is in his genes.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
There is no VALID REASON for cheating dear, and I would say you were right with what you did. A wrong could never be right no matter what the reason is. The end does not justify the means, what ever it is that he wants that you have not given him, shouldn't justify why he did the thing. You are just right. But, please don't dwell too much on the hurt and pain, move on, sort things out, and settle the conflict, talk it out with your partner, and be ready for whatever possibilities... Don't allow other people to ruin your life, even if you cared and loved him so much, bear in mind that you also have a life. So enjoy it, you ought to. Be positive in life, and don't make your world revolve around a person. No one could hurt you unless you allow them to do so. Be vigilant to have such happiness amidst all those adversities. Talk to him, and make him decide what he wants, because if he doesn't want anything, why is he doing what he's doing? Cheating is a real crash to the one important ingredient in a relationship called "TRUST"... and sure now it's broken, it was torn apart. Bottom line dear, it's up to the both of you to decide to stay together and save the relationship or break up... Relationship is made and meant to be shared and enjoyed in every way by both of you. So come up with a decision with your partner dear, be strong! God bless you and your relationship! :D
@angel_of_charm (4134)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Thank you for your response, I know I can move on and just forget about what happened and I'm starting to to that now, its just that I want to know if I'm so wrong to react like this like he is saying but thanks to your response, I feel a lot better to know I'm not alone for thinking, there's no valid reason for cheating.
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
3 Dec 10
U are not in the wrong for sure. Your bf is in the wrong and he's the one whom started all that rubbish and cause your relationship to be in this mess now. If he did not lie in the first place, how would the other girl be able to claim she's his actual gf, while u are the 3rd party or whatsoever right? So u have to stand up to your rights. NOw u only have got 2 choices, stand firm or leave him. I guess the better choice is to leave him because he's not honest at all 
1 person likes this
@fourjems08 (550)
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
Girl, I share your woes. I had been in that situation before. We were living together first for 3 years before we married and the same thing happens with me. He denies everything and if being found out he would say they were just his friends and he asked them to do this and that to make me jealous. And by reading your story, I feel my anger rising back again thinking of the past. You better leave that no good bf of yours before you regret everything. He has been lying to you and maybe he has already been cheating on you. That kind of personality of a man is hard to change even as time goes by. Even I had regret the things in the past all because I love him too much and I simply close my eyes and allow him to hurt me that I am in my most difficult situation right now. You are not yet married to him. There is still a chance for you to leave him and find a better person who is more worthy than him. I know it would be a very hard decision coz you love him. But believe me, that feelings of yours will soon fade when your heart tires out from getting hurt always.
1 person likes this
@libramie (562)
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
Talk to him seriously and express your donts and dos in your situation then met a deal on the center. Its very hard to live a tangled relationship for lifetime, so solve it now and be reasonable, preferably for your own good sake and for your future.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
Men doesnt want to offend their so called friends but its okay for them to offend their partners. They are really pretentious in front of their friends but not in front of their partners. It doesnt matter if your bf got mad. Serves him right anyway for trying to do that with that girl.
But if I were you, I wouldnt tell the girl she was the cause of the fights. That will make her think she is something you know. You should have told there is nothing in there for her and she should just stop.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
24 Nov 10
angel_of_charm,
This just spells trouble for you all over and I have to suggest that you stop analyzing or try to look for reasons to understand. In simple, start thinking about yourself and most importantly your future.
No one is indispensable and loosing a looser like him will not be damnable or ever going to change the direction of the sunrise and sunsets. Your life may change but all I can say should be better for you.
You deserve the best and very rightly so. So quit mopping around and start taking some baby steps to walk out independently.
Take care.
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
Girl, this is what I can say about your bf, he's freaking womanizer. You don't even have to ask for an opinion about that. You should know that what he is doing is not right. If you both know what is the meaning of commitment, then you don't have a problem like this. I know that temptation is all over but if you are committed to someone else and if you true to that commitment you will never do such stupid thing. Can't you see? you are living with him but he is not proud to tell the world about it, and he can manage to have a relationship with others?
Go out of the box and find a new life. There are more deserving guys out there, I'm sure you will find one. There is no reason at all to stay with the relationship, it's one sided, it's unhealthy and he didn't respect you.
So you get a new life, girl. I am sensitive when it comes to this topic cause I'll never let this things happen again, so do not let this go on and leave you hurt alone.
Hope you think about this, your heart and life is at stake.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13106)
• Portugal
24 Nov 10
i answered your discussion and i dont know how my message didnt stay here. anyway as i was saying im sorry for what your bf did but he doesnt deserve you at all. he lied to you two times about those girls. he was trying to get them and was your bf. also he even blamed you for talk with the second girl. he doesnt deserve your love really. you should try to leave that guy bcs really what he did was a big disrespect to you. he shouldnt had act like that to you. you dont deserve bcs you
really care for him and forgave when he first lied and he dared to lie again. how can you know that he wont lie again? you should try to make a test to him and see if he would say he is single again. is only way for you to be sure that he regrets what he did or not. or if you want try to leave him for a week and see if he fights for you^^ if he fights is bcs regrets and you might see what happens but you should test him without he knows that is you to see if he would do that again.
you should try to make a test to him and see if he would say he is single again. is only way for you to be sure that he regrets what he did or not. or if you want try to leave him for a week and see if he fights for you^^ if he fights is bcs regrets and you might see what happens but you should test him without he knows that is you to see if he would do that again.1 person likes this
@cnlvcu14 (6)
• United States
25 Nov 10
Most guys are shady like that and will come off as available to a girl theyre just meeting whether they are taken or not. You weren't wrong for talking to the girl at all, i think that was a good idea because she needed to know about you. you are NOT WRONG for being hurt...i don't think there is really any excuse for what he did and i think you should try to overlook it if this is the first time, but your level of trust for him will always suffer after something like this. i would be skeptical of him from now on. good luck!!!
