Is our fault if our guy is cheating on us?

Philippines
December 10, 2010 8:16pm CST
Usually guys when caught cheating on us, their primary reason why they are cheating would be,because of us girls as their partners. Is it right? If you will caught your husband or boyfriend cheating on you then he will tell you it's your fault because you don't have time for me, even you two have always been seeing each other, what will you say to him? Or how will you react to that?
3 people like this
14 responses
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
I don't think so. It is not our fault at all if the guys can't be faithful. We all have our differences but that does not mean we have contributed to the guy's fall. Cheating is one's own prerogative and it does not take into account that we don't have time for him, etc.
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
So do you believe that even if we have lapses, they should not do something like infidelity? What are you going say to your husband/bf if he will tell it straight to you that it's really your fault? The specific line pleas,e maybe I will apply it to my situation if ever. I'm not really good at debating. Most of the time it's him who always win when we do have debates.
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
Hello there! Lapses or not, your husband or bf does not need or require a reason for him to cheat on you. In the first place, if you are married, you have vows that no man can asunder, that means you are under God's oath. For bf though, that is different, that would mean that as early as now, you were able to see his true colors, which means he cannot be trusted so you are better off without him. If he blames you for his infidelity, there is no need to argue with him, you can listen, let him finish, then say calmly (with poise): I am not like you, I believe in karma and I have respect with myself, don't ever dare to point your forefinger to me because frankly, the rest of your four fingers are pointed at you... Hope this helps! Cheers!
@jennbart (1332)
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
I will not say anything to him. I will just kick him in his balls and groin. Then smile oh so sweetly to him.. " Is that so honey?, ok then, I am setting you free now... BYE!!"
@jennbart (1332)
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
Ofcourse! unless you enjoy his being a cheater then, by all means STAY! But I will have to set him free to free me of burden and stress. Its also stressfull to worry where could your guy be every now and then. Set him free and you will set yourself free of worry! and... save 10 years of your life!
@arriefa (75)
• Indonesia
11 Dec 10
No, I don't think so. If my boy friend tells me he cheats because I don't have time for him,I will introspect my self first. If I think it's true I am too ignorance for him, I will say sorry because it is my fault toward our relationship but it doesn't mean it becomes a license for him to cheat. He should talk to me about my fault instead of cheating. I argue that being ignorance toward our lovers and cheating is two different mistakes and we can never put them into cause-and-effect case.
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Most of the guys said that they have the license to cheat and it would be better if they will caught cheating compared to females cheating. It would be acceptable if they are the one who will cheat. But I don't agree to that, no one has the license to cheat, it's our obligation to remain faithful and loyal to our partners. If they don't have any love, better tell it straight than cheating.
• United States
11 Dec 10
Personally Mackenzie I would not stick around to hear such petty explanation. There is absolutely no excuse for either one to cheat. A man I would respect would be one that would be honest enough to say, that something is not quite in the relationship and he wants out. I would not be happy but perhaps then we could talk. After he has cheated he made the decision for both of us, as he could have given me excuses before and we then could perhaps have fixed things. See these are excuses men use and or women or just call them cheaters; use to justify why they did wrong.
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
I know it's just his excuse not to feel guilty. Why it is that they don't accept the reason they did it because that it's their attitude? And also he if think that we have to work things out. then why did he think that cheating will be best answer,I knew I have lapses for our relationship and so does he. But I didn't think about cheating.
@vjenkins86 (1478)
• United States
11 Dec 10
For the guy to blame his girlfriend for his cheating is childish, ridiculous and just wrong. Yes, two people are in a relationship, but it is his conscious decision to cheat. If he's unhappy in his relationship, he should speak up or get out. If my boyfriend cheated on me and then blamed me for his indiscretion, I wouldn't have it. I would tell him off for even thinking of blaming me for his actions and tell him he should be man enough to take responsibility for his actions.
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Yeah I agree with you, they're so childish. Why can't males admit their mistakes for doing things.
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
It takes two to tango, sometimes men are just little boys who wants attention but in cases where its obvious that you have time for each other and he cheats then the problem is not with you but with him!
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
Yeah maybe. It's part of their immaturity. they always want to have your attention.
• Canada
30 Dec 10
It is true that problems in a relationship can lead one partner or the other (or both!) to cheat. However, if you are feeling neglected, or feeling that you are not getting enough intimacy, you should be mature enough to tell your partner that you need more. If your partner does not respect your needs you must find a compromise or end the relationship. It is wrong to go out and betray your partner while still expecting her or him to stay in a relationship with you.
@ifa225 (11097)
• Indonesia
14 Dec 10
it is my fault, i will not doubt it. and it is not my fault too if i loose my respect because he is cheating on me. and it is my fault too if i would rather to choose he leaves me.
@abish1987 (190)
• Philippines
14 Dec 10
hello mackenzie! I miss you... We'll it depends on the situation, you can't point fingers to each other because in every circumstances there's always a reason why it happens that way. First is analyze the problem and as a couple, you have to sit together and talk about that matter. Blaming has nothing to do with the progress of the conversation. Just relax, sit and calm down mack....I guess you two now are fine....how is he?
@sid556 (30999)
• United States
11 Dec 10
Hi Mackenzie, No it isn't our fault. That is just the cheaters way of passing the blame in an attempt to ease up their own guilt. The relationship may have it's problems and that may be partly our fault. Still, how he reacts to problems within the relationship is 100% on him.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
hello mac, a cheat is a cheat. no matter how much you justify their action, every one will say thats them. cant be changed. if you find your boyfriend cheating, dump him. he doesnt respect you for one and second, he doesnt believe in commitment. its not a good start, end it there and find a better one. cheer up. have a nice day. ann
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
11 Dec 10
You should never blame yourself or let someone else blame you for having your guy cheat on you. When a guy cheats, he is making that decision for himself. nobody is forcing him to be unfaithful to you. That is a choice he made that he will have to live with. It is not your fault. Don't let anybody make you believe that it is.
@madteaparty (2761)
• Japan
11 Dec 10
People who use a lame excuse as "it's your fault that I'm cheating on you" are only lying to themselves trying to pass the blame onto the other. Cheating on someone is always solely the cheater's fault. If you're not happy with a relationship you're supposed to talk things with your mate and end it if it's neccessary, but not to lie to your partner and do things in his or her back. Cheating is a form of telling a lie, so once they get used to lying in that way they can lie too saying it's the other person's fault, but it's not. If it ever happened to me I would react breaking up with that person.
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
As a mature person, you should not blame other people with your own mistake. If you don't like something that's running in the relationship, then tell your partner. If I caught my boyfriend cheating on me, I will tell him how I feel. I will point out to him the value of communication in a relationship and that whatever his reasons, it will never be an excuse to cheat.If I can't sense any remorse that means he can do that again.If that's the case then, I'm always willing to give him a graceful exit.