How to: Overcome Jealousy ?

Netherlands
December 23, 2010 10:19am CST
What do you think is best to overcome jealousy? I think talking to people is the first thing you should do, also understand what you're jealous of and why you truely are jealous. You shouldn't compare yourself with others, be happy with who you are and what you have, no-one is going to change that. What do you guys/girls think?
3 people like this
13 responses
• Canada
24 Dec 10
I used to have serious jealousy problems not too long ago. I've completely overcome it, don't think there's any jealousy left in me.. I think the problem was that he had a job and a life, and was really busy with college and things. He would go to clubs and stuff. I am not in college so I didn't have a very busy life. I didn't go out very much, nor did I trust him very much. I was jealous of his life and every girl who he would talk to. Now tables have turned, I'm in school full time and working like 30 hours a week. I have met so many new people, I'm having to go to Birthday parties and stuff like every weekend. But the thing is, now me and him are on the same page. I used to think there was no way he really cared about me when he's always somewhere else with someone else.. You just have to put yourself in their shoes. If you know they love you and you're sure of your relationship, what do you have to be jealous of? They're all yours and only yours!
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Pretty nice story man. I think it's good to just put your mind on different things than being jealous. As you said, now you're in school and working, you feel way better about him and about yourself aswell. So I guess thinking about it only makes it worse, so you should find something to set your mind on and concentrate on getting better yourself and making progress so you won't be jealous anymore :) Thanks for your comment & happy holidays!
• Canada
27 Dec 10
Sitting at home with nothing to do too much lead to me creating all these crazy possibilities of where he might be and who he's with. It's not good to focus on a person that much, everythings much happier now.
• Netherlands
27 Dec 10
yeah I guess having too much time to think about it, isn't the best that could happen. You probably just need something to set your mind on not think about at all, until you think you're over it or you just move on.. Good luck with it and thanks for your comment
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
24 Dec 10
jEALOUSLY IS SOMETHING EVERYONE EXPERIENCES. It is a hard thing to overcome. It absolutely eats some folks up. Noone can stop u for being that way , u have to do it yourself & sadly some people never do. Merry Christmas.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Yeah, I guess this emotion can really get you down. Guess we just have to be strong and try not to think of it, as it'll probably only get worse the more we think of it. Always working on yourself and not looking at other as to what they have, but rather looking at what you have yourself and who you are, should be the right thing to do in my opinion. Happy Days!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
24 Dec 10
I count all my blessings every day & am thankful for them as we all should be.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
That's really sweet :) Thanks again for your nice comment and wish you a happy new year!
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
23 Dec 10
Hi destiny, Jealousy flares up when one partner feels insecure or threatened either by a real or an imagined threat. It is oftentimes considered normal to feel a little bit of jealousy over something real. Jealousy in small doses is pretty normal as it results from your feeling of inadequacy when compared to someone or something better. For instance, you may have that feeling when a good-looking woman (or man) comes up to your partner. This situation may sometimes bring self-esteem issues to the fore. However, when you assume something more than what seems to be only a passing acquaintance, then you're in danger of feeding your distrust and paranoia and may ultimately lead you to extreme fits of jealousy. In order to successfully keep the jealousy monster under control you have to search your feelings to try and find out the underlying cause of your jealousy. When your partner looks at another, do you feel that you're going to lose him/her? Do you believe that he's devoting too much time to another instead of you? When you ask yourself these questions, you will be able to determine the intensity of your jealousy and realize that if you're behaving irrationally then the problem might lie with you. Sometimes, it's simply your perception of yourself that seems to be the problem. If you constantly find something wrong with yourself every time that you look in a mirror, then it may be time to correct it. Sometimes, a simple change like a haircut, or a change in wardrobe may be the solution. If you feel the need to alter your appearance through modern cosmetic surgery, then go for it, as long as you believe that doing so may boost your self-esteem and give you back your self-confidence. The key here is to change the way you view yourself in your mind.
• Netherlands
23 Dec 10
Thanks alot for the great comment! I really learnt from this. Maybe it's just that you're not thinking right when you're jealous. You imagine things that aren't really true and they get bigger and worse as time passes by..
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
23 Dec 10
Exactly..
• Netherlands
23 Dec 10
Thanks for the comment! Happy days!
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
hello destinybattlefield, TRUST! that is the main thing that you should base. you have to trust your friend, and yourself. you have to shelve your insecurities. your eagerness to come out the winner or the much better person is the key. merry merry christmas to you and your family. ann
• Netherlands
25 Dec 10
Dear Ann, first of all, Merry Christmas and thanks alot for your comment! I think trust is a really important thing aswell, when it comes to jealousy and your relationship with your friends and beloved ones. Again, thanks for the comment and same to you, hope you have a good new year!
• China
25 Dec 10
It is important to know our own limitations.
• Netherlands
25 Dec 10
Yeah, but do you think jealousy is a limitation, or just an emotion we have to try to get under control? I think if y ou try enough the limits to what we can do should not be there at all, or just be very little. Thanks for the comment
• India
24 Dec 10
Insecurity Leads to Jealousy. Jealousy is sometime very Useful and sometimes it becomes very bad. I like it a lot when my Girlfriend used to become Jealous or show Possessiveness towards me. I felt very good and I like it a lot when she did it. This is the positive way of Jealousy it makes you feel bad. But excess of Jealousy can sometimes cause a lot of Problems like your Gf may stop you from Interacting with other people. My Friend was in a relationship with a girl and they had a commitment between them that they won't speak to other guys or Girls. I was very shocked to hear that and I totally Dis-agreed their point.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Yeah, that's quite extreme of you don't trust eachother that bad that you promiss eachother this kind of things. I don't think it should be that way because if you don't trust eachother at anything, maybe you shouldn't be together at all, because you'll get way too jealous if your boy/girl even talks to a person. In a relationship I think you should really trust your significant other this much that you can just let them do what they want, because you know they'll stay true to you. Thanks for your comment!
@ScatManx (13)
24 Dec 10
i believe the best way to overcome jelousy is to think of all the ways that you are better than the person that you are jelous of as this will relieve stress and make you realise that you are a better person for not being jelous of them and that they should be jelous of you!x
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
True, but by doing this you'll probably also remind yourself of the things that he/she has, that you want. So maybe you'll only get frustrated and finding an excuse not to be jealous of them cause for instance you have more money than they do, but they have the one girl that you've been in love with your whole life, so maybe it's not really the best thing to do, don't you think? Thanks for your comment!
@greet123 (44)
24 Dec 10
Jealousy can be easily overcome by strengthening and training our minds. The strength to overcome this petty emotion can come from religion. We are taught that no two people in this world is the same. No two occurrences for people would be same too. If we accept this and not promote equality we would definitely be happy since no matter how much we try to promote equality between everything and everyone the more different and jealous they end up being.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Thanks for your wise words! I guess you're right, we should just look at tourselves as an individual and try to always get better as we move on. This way you'll even be too busy with yourself to even think of others and maybe get jealous of them. Thanks alot for your comment and Happy Holidays!
• Philippines
24 Dec 10
comparing what you to what others have is a good way to make yourself miserable. so just be content of what you have, double your effort to achieve what you want and always pray to God to avoid being jealous to others.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
I guess it's easy to get yourself down that way yeah. Just try to get the best of life & be happy with what you have & who you are is the way to go! Thanks for the comment!
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
24 Dec 10
I think, if we can , we should stop comparing ourselves, but it's not always an easy thing to do. I learned of this quote "I don't get jealous, I get even" and I think that would be the 'cure'. Just do what you want in life and then you won't have regrets and you'll just confidence.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Yeah, that's probably the right thing to do. Maybe comparing yourselves to other can be good, but just to try to make yourself better, like setting a goal for yourself. This way you won't be jealous but just have like an idol, something you want to achieve. Thanks for the comment!
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
23 Dec 10
I did have big issues with jealousy with a friend who I had a crush on like over 10 years ago! What I tried,like therapy,it didn't work! So-called friends would tell me to just knock it off with the crush! They were b*tches and they did not help me out at all! This crush lasted a few years and nothing I did helped! He was dating a woman we both worked with. It wasn't long before they started living together. They did finally got married after living together for a few years. I got off track there! Time was the only thing that helped me! Maybe it lasted to long but I never been through anything like this before! I was getting bad advice and no help when I needed it! I got so frustrated and knew it had to stop! Beleive me I tried and I tried to deal with it! I did some really stupid stuff because of my jealousy that I did regret big time! What advice I would is let time takes its cours! Don't let anyone put you down and don't listen to any b^tches either! That is what I have to say.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Wow, that's quite a story.. Feel really sorry for you. Guess love is just evil (spell it backwards I'll show you ^^). Jealousy is just an emotion we really need to try to get under control and not think about. Wish you best of luck with your life & happy holidays!
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
23 Dec 10
Per say comparing yourself with others is not bad. There would be no progress if you did not see the difference between you and someone successful. It is when you feel you are inferior that the trouble starts. You compare and resolve to better yourself and become equal to the person who you have compared with. That is the way. Once you go on this road you can never be jealous simply because you will not have time for it!
• Netherlands
23 Dec 10
True words, you have to set goals in your life that you want to achieve. Looking at other people can really help with this. Thanks for the wisdom!
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
10 Jan 11
hi, i think that is my disease,having an attitude of jealous, i dont know how to avoid this or even to control, so i can reduce that feelings, but sometimes i tried to overcome it by patience and understanding. i think its the best to overcome a jealous.