What will you do if your partner cheated you twice?

Philippines
January 14, 2011 11:28pm CST
I had a partner before and she cheated me twice and the worst thing is she and my bestfriend had a relationship,of course without my knowledge. It all started when we went out of town, my partner treated my bestfriend so extra sweet I thought all the while she was just so pleased because they were the one who invited us over. I never gave any malice on that. Until one day she bacame cold I thought she was just tired of doing the household chores not until I noticed that my bestfriend always in our house. Maybe it was an instict I felt something was going on,. I asked her but of course she denied it. One day, I'm at work I felt like going home early and I caught them. It really hurts so bad, my partner asked for my forgiveness since I love her so much I forgave her and she said she just wanted a space so I gave her a space. I thought everything is okay but she still continue the relationship with my bestfriend and that was my last straw... I broke up with her but few months after she want me back. Do you think I would accept her again?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
15 Jan 11
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. You have to do what is right for you but the truth is that in my own experiences and my friend's experiences..if they cheat once..they will do it again and again. I respect you for trying to work things out the first time because I don't think I would have been strong enough to do it. I know I wouldn't after a second time. Take care and I hope that whatever you choose works out for you.
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
Thanks JenInTN I guess all of you guys who commented on my situation are all right.Right now I'll do the right thing that I should have done the first time she cheated on me.
15 Jan 11
Hi sorry to hear your hurtful story,from my own personal experiance i would say no dont give another chance,my ex hubby chaeted on me twice with my step-sister the first time i forgave him,then the second time it just so happened she was 8 months pregnant with his baby that our family thought was someone elses i only found out it was my his 3 weeks before the baby was born and then she gave birth on our wedding anniversary,it was the last straw i had been with my hubby for 11 years since i was 13 and we had 4 kids then he did that when he promised and convinced me he would never cheat again after the first time.I believe once a cheat always a cheat,it will be hard but time is a great healer and you will get by and evebtually find someone who will treat you right and not break yor heart,but at the end of the day its your own choice but the chances are if you forgive again you will get hurt again and it will hurt even worse.hope this helps.chin up cherub
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
thanks for the advise it really helps me a lot.And I hope you're okay now and happy.thanks again.
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
i will slap her face and tell her that the door is open for her to leave my house..
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
I think i would not allow it to be even done twice. I mean once is more than enough. She's not worth it. Dump her. It's just not right to be treated like that, but the choice will always be up to you. Do what you think is right and what's best.
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
cheated on you twice? my friend don't accept her this time.it's too much.she did once,she may do it again the 2nd time around. it really hurts to let go of your loved one but be wise.think again,there other girls who deserved your loved.find someone who will love you whoever you are.
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
16 Jan 11
I wouldn't even consider taking her back, cheating once is forgivable kind of, but twice is a habit. She'll just keep doing it to you and assume you simply don't care about her behavior, which you apparently do (and should).
• United States
16 Jan 11
"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". It's tough but takes a strong individual to survive, cope, and make it through. Honestly, you shouldn't accept her.
• Paraguay
16 Jan 11
yes! accept her again, and then you know what, cheat her thrice hahaha... make a revenge lol
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
15 Jan 11
If my partner cheated once I could be more understanding and forgiving. Cheating twice by a partner is like having a slap in the face. i would feel guilty for allowing it to happen to me again. i would blame myself more than my partner and that just doesn't seem fair.
@trader22 (233)
• Jamaica
15 Jan 11
Not to be discouraging but people don't really change. They can improve, yes but the fact that she cheated constantly make her a cheater and that title will stick with her until the end. Is up to you to decide if you want to accept her back or not. But this really sounds like a one way love. Sounds like you are putting too much into this relationship and she is taking it for granted. If you really want to give her another chance let she work day and night to earn your trust. And until she can be worth loving don't say 'i love you' to her. This is just my opinion. I remember when you ask she lied. Hence she is a lier too. Your best friend should get the same treatment as her. Remember it takes TWO. But no comment or response can assure you that she won't cheat again.
@gracielle (346)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
No dear, never...Don't be dumb on doing such an action,yes I know how you feel I too have felt that pain, but I'm lucky enough that I was with the man that loved me so dearly. She's not worth your love, my instinct tells me that your girl & your best friend slowly feel in love with other as the time they keep seeing each other, not right away. And your best friend likes your girlfriend so badly that he doesn't pay attention on your friendship & all he wanted to do is to steal your girlfriend & unfortunately your girlfriend fall in his trap. You can find a lot of ladies, there are a lot of fishes in the see, so go & explore the world & find the perfect & worthiest lady for you. You will know if she'e the one. If your heart & your mind get well are good about it, then she can be the one. Godbless....
• Indonesia
15 Jan 11
No way. Never accept her again. That is wrong, totally wrong. i once have ever did that to my boyfriend and no matter how much I gave her changes, he still did it and did it again. for me, once you make a mistake, there will be two , three and maybe more than that possibility to do the same mistake again. You better keep yourself away from her rather than give her another chance. It will hurt you more.
@rushian09 (139)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
I think twice is enough. Even though he or she promise that she would not do it again, their is a possibility that she can do it again and again.
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
I think that's the right thing t do- breaking up with her. You already gave her a second chance, and she didn't even try to change, which means that she's not really serious about you. Why don't you have a talk , the three of you understand why and what is really going on.. why they cheated and stuff.
• India
15 Jan 11
It is really sad if the one we love lets us down in this manner. you really can not trust someone who can be dishonest in a relationship. It becomes a sort of habit and they are likely to do it again and again because they have tasted blood once. They get a sort of thrill in having a variety of partners. Such people can not be faithful to one person all their life. I know that it is human to err and divine to forgive, but this is not an error. It is a willful act which can not be pardoned.
• India
15 Jan 11
Well i wouldn't trust her after she cheated me the first time. But there's something within us that makes us trust our love or our girlfriend even after she has betrayed or left us. I would feel really bad and i am extremely sorry to hear what happened to you! She is a two timing *****! I suggest that you stay away from her at all cost.. And your best friend? Would you really consider him as your best friend after any such thing happened? Take my advice and ditch her already.. She doesn't deserve you.. Cheers!
@toniganzon (50001)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
NEVER! For your own sake don't do it. Don't ever allow anybody to trample on your pride! If you would do that you would be acting like a fool. She's doing it to you again and again coz she knows you will always be there for her no matter what. Where's your pride man? In this situation, it's never proper to accept her again into your life and allow yourself to get hurt more. She will never respect you at all! Give yourself some pride and respect, look for another woman who's worth loving and not someone who could play on your feelings anytime over and over again.
@jonnifc (1021)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
As they say "Once is enough. Twice is too much." So to answer the title of your discussion, I won't take my partner back after the second time. It's hard to earn the trust back. And what is a relationship if there is no trust? It's worthless. You can forgive her and all but to take her back again is not wise. You may love her but you are no longer sure if she loves you just as much. And you should be fair to yourself. Give yourself the chance to find someone who deserves your commitment. So, my advice, don't take her back. Save yourself from a lot of hassle. Cheers!
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
hello, that is really hurt. I am sorry for what happened to you. But as my opinion please decide carefully because as what you said she already cheated you twice that is not good dont be so stupid(sorry for the word) because the big deal here is when she leave you and said she want space but she continue her relationship with your bestfriend when she leaves you? right? and when she found out that she didn't love your bestfriend she want to come back? what the?! is she joking or playing? But actually the decision is still yours, depends on you if you will accept her or not. but please don't be so stupid. because she might do it again to you.