Do YOU *RSVP*? *rant to follow*
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
February 7, 2011 10:40pm CST
Why don't you? I am constantly amazed at the numbers of people who do not bother to RSVP for anything these days, whether it is a lunch date, a play date, a PARTY, a bbq, a team building thing for WORK even, weddings, reunions, you name it.
Are people just ruder? Why? It's oh so easy to TEXT or email somebody if you aren't able to CALL them. By the way, even if you can't make it for whatever reason or an emergency occurs, it is still PROPER to at least say 'hey, we got in a car accident, please excuse us' or 'my cat ate the rat poison under the sink, I think I need to go to the vet instead'.
Sometimes it doesn't matter a huge amount, if it's low key and people are not paying for your slot, your spot, your place, your clothing, your tickets, or your dinner. The reason this irks me so much is sometimes IN the invitation it states 'please rsvp by this date because I have to give a final count' - and by the way, that final count includes a cost.
What to do if you told a place 'fifteen people' and therefore you have to PAY for fifteen people, and yet only eleven show up? If people had rsvp'd then you know to tell them you'll have less people so they don't overplan and overprepare and then have to overcharge you.
2 people like this
10 responses
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Feb 11
Yeah, been there, done that, gotten many calls after the date, and fortunately 1) the places were accomodating and 2) nobody was a no show. But it annoys the heck out of me.
@djmarion (4898)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
here in our place RSVP's were also being exercise although many people especially old fashioned ones were not at ease in implementing it, i even remember my own wedding where my friends and i wanted to put an RSVP tag on the invites but the elders object and so we just omitted. Though in my mind it is a must since we pay the per head fee and so we need to know the head count.
I like having RSVP and whenever i encounter it on any invitation directed to me i make sure to follow and drop a call to assure my seat, i think it is rude to ignore it and just show with whoever you want to bring because the host or hostess must have limited seats reserved for the guest.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
8 Feb 11
I don't think that some people realize what RSVP really means. It is expected that you will let the inviter of your invitation know that you will or will not be coming. it makes it so much easier on the hosts when they know what or whom to expect. Surprisies can damper a party mood.
@shattered (1728)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
It really is a problem specially when you are on a tight budget and you want to limit the costs of a get together or a party.
It is good etiquette. I make it a point to send mine. A maybe and will try is better than no response yes? The people preparing will get a heads up.
It should really be practiced. Though and believe I know how frustrating it is...
@pinklady227 (285)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
It's really good and appropriate to RSVP but then some people just don't bother. It also happened to my mom. She had a party for friends. She expected around 30 people would be there but then only 8 showed up. Imagine having all the preparations and the expenses and then very few people came. I hope everyone will have to inform the host ahead of time whether you are attending or not so that everything can be finalized before a said event or occasion.
@thekelz (277)
• United Kingdom
8 Feb 11
I got married in April, and when we sent out the invites, I was amazed howmany people didn't R.S.V.P. We even set up a website so they could it, or text or they could send a written response.
Unbelevable, We were trying to organise a weding and then chasing these R.S.V.P's to get final numbers, added stress that we didn't need. We did think about no R.S.V.P meant that they were not coming, but as some were FAMILY members, we decided that it would cause too much grief.
We let them know that we were not happy though.
@NoWayRo (1061)
• Romania
8 Feb 11
Over where I live, if you don't respond to an invitation, it's assumed that you won't show up. It's still considered rude, of course. If you don't confirm and still show up, you'll find that you don't have a chair to sit in and there's no food for you 
I guess this habit was reinforced by our custom to hold really huge wedding parties, with hundreds of guests. These involve large costs, and, of course, a lot of logistics, so guests are counted down very carefully. If somebody confirms the invitation to such a wedding, but doesn't show up, risks getting excluded from the friends of the family after that.
I guess this habit was reinforced by our custom to hold really huge wedding parties, with hundreds of guests. These involve large costs, and, of course, a lot of logistics, so guests are counted down very carefully. If somebody confirms the invitation to such a wedding, but doesn't show up, risks getting excluded from the friends of the family after that. 