A very hard decision to make about my future...
By iva75cpb
@iva75cpb (729)
Bulgaria
February 22, 2011 2:54am CST
Hello, folks! I find it very hard to make a decision that could affect my future life. I've been on a non-paid leave from work for the past two months and my boss always says "just wait more" when I ask about coming back to work. The problem is that I don't want to quit and try to look for another job because I love my job and I don't want to change it. Also I'd like to have another child and me and my boyfriend have been trying to make a second child. If I quit my job I'd lose all the benefits of being pregnant without labor contract. This morning I was told again to wait, maybe another month or two. I suspect my employer will finally force me to quit job because of the economic crisis and then I will be on a crossroad.
It's good to stay home, really, but everything I do to gain some additional incomes from the internet and freelance jobs is not enough to make a living.
What would you do? Would you quit if you were me, or would you wait another couple of months, hoping things would become better? Having in mind my desire to have a baby? I'd appreciate any friendly suggestions! Thank you!
2 people like this
12 responses
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
22 Feb 11
As you are on un-paid leave, and you boss told you to wait for another month or two.. so it is better for you to find another job which pay and give you benefits more or less the same with the current job. Just as you suspected, the company may at the end ask you to quit, so why wait? If they postpone to have you back in the company that means your job is not that important for the company. So, it is better start to find another even if it offer less than what you will have if you return to this company.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
23 Feb 11
It is not nice when the company differentiate gender and status. I thought this only happens in a third developing country like my country Indonesia. Apparently it happens every else, too. Fortunately, it is getting better now in Indonesia, since many women/mother took good positions in the government offices. I hope you'll get a job in a company that appreciate your talent.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
25 Feb 11
Thanks, jennyze. Obviously it doesn't happen only in third developing countries, although I sometimes think that Bulgaria is even worse than such a developing country. It is so bad here sometimes that I just can't stand it but I'll have to get over it and continue with my life. Thank you again and see you soon!
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
22 Feb 11
Thank you for being so kind and responding to me, jennyze. I've been looking for some vacancies for some time and I did find some nice offers. But I'm still wondering whether to apply since I am a mother and mothers are not tolerated in our country, as I mentioned in my previous comment. Employers are just afraid to hire moms because of the probability they will be absent very often (which, in fact, doesn't happen to me but who knows). Indeed may be the right thing to do is to keep looking for another job because you're right, may be eventually they will force me to quit and I don't have to wait for this day to come.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
I think you should start looking for a new job... Waiting for your old job is actually no assurance... If you are being paid, well then that is fine but in your case, its like they are hanging you and putting you on wait without a reason... And by the look, the company is actually not stable... Better look for a new job iva75cpb than waste your time waiting when and when will they need or call you to report again...
One to two much is such a long wait, don't you think?
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
23 Feb 11
Good luck to you. I am sure you will find a much better and enjoyable job than your previous one... Happy job hunting! Don't forget The key For fast& good employment landing is praying... 
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
22 Feb 11
You're absolutely right, it is too much to wait. Thanks for paying attention to my problem. I've already started looking for another job, unfortunately for now there are no vacancies. But tomorrow is a new day and I won't give up and continue looking. I hope my situation will get better soon.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Mar 11
Gee, this would be annoying and frustrating and since I live here in the US, I know I would be looking at ways to get unemployment to help cover some of the $$ lost as well. When being told something like this, does it mean there is nothing available at this time due to the Financial situation of the company or what? Have they explained why and what your foreseeable future is as well?
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
16 Jan 13
Ahh, of course Funny to see my 2-year old discussion responded 9 hours ago, thanks, anyway! And I can see I already approved your friendship request. And don't worry about your English, it surely needs improvement, but it's not as bad as of some other people here on MyLot...
Funny to see my 2-year old discussion responded 9 hours ago, thanks, anyway! And I can see I already approved your friendship request. And don't worry about your English, it surely needs improvement, but it's not as bad as of some other people here on MyLot...
@ce521suixk (18)
• China
16 Jan 13
hehe.Though I'm a China senior high school student ,I think i can understand you .I suggest that you'd better to stay home ,and do another things ,which you like .Because interest is very important .You also can teach another nation people english ,because I know many people are confused with how to improve English oral .
err …my english is poor .May thouse words have many mistake .Tell me ,please !Thank you !
And can we make friends ?
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
23 Feb 11
Well, I think you should weight the possibility first if you are really going back to your job or if your boss is going to lay you off. I think you have to be more practical and look at it objectively.. If you think there is a smaller chance that you can get your work back, then I say move on and find another work.. You can still have your benefits, if you find a regular job and wait for atleast 6 months..
Hoping this will help, and I do hope that you will be able to decide what is best for you and for your family.. 
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
23 Feb 11
Hi, and thank you for responding. I am considering all the choices I have and I decided to look for other possibilities to work, while at the same time staying at home. I hope in the near future things will settle down positively for me.
Happy MyLotting!
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
I don't think you have much of a choice. You may like your job but the problem is that job is not going to materialize anytime soon. Just be realistic. Look for a job, at least a job that is similar in nature where you can still enjoy. during these times, being choosy won't be beneficial not unless your partner is well off and secure in his job and clinging to the hope that your boss will give you a job in a month seems bleak either. besides, if you get a new job and your boss offers you that job you can always take it.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
22 Feb 11
Thank you very much for responding. This was my first thought, also - to look for another job. There are many vacant positions right now for what I can do and I have to appreciate any offer I see for a vacancy. Indeed, the choices I have are not that much. All that concerns me is, what if I go do a different place to work and get pregnant in the first months? In our country employers don't tend to like mothers, no matter how ugly it sounds. Even the current job I have now - two years ago, when I applied, my daughter was 2.5 years old. I almost didn't get the job because I was a mother with a small child and this fact on our country is not tolerated because of the frequency of children getting sick. It took me a lot of hard work to convince them I'm worth hiring. Felt guilty I'm a mother, can you imagine that? And that's the situation with 85-90% of the mothers here. They're not wanted. I can't explain to myself why, everybody's crying out loud "This country needs more children to survive!!!$ but when we have one, we simply can't find a job. Country of paradoxes.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
23 Feb 11
I guess you just have to choose which to give more priority and that is between having a career or being a full time mother. I think the main reason with employers having second thoughts of hiring mothers is the absences that tend to affect productivity. Currently, we have a trainee but her frequent absences and tardiness are affecting her performance. Personally, i really would like her to stay but HR sees things differently which means that if she's not going to improve on her attendance then she may end up jobless again.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
That's the sad reality of life but it doesn't that's the end. There are a lot of options and its just a matter of exploring each. I hope you can get a job that you'll enjoy and don't have to choose between being just a full time mother. I'm sure there are a lot of mothers out there who are doing both and are successful at it.
@Bellapop (1279)
•
22 May 11
This sounds a little worrying, has your boss explained why you are made to wait, especially when the leave is nonpaid. I think your boss may be trying to make you to leave, but he doesn't want to discharge you himself otherwise he would have two pay compensation, rather he is waiting for you to resign on your own accord so that he won't have two pay any thing to you. I think you should start thinking about looking for another job but to still hang onto this one, you don't lose anything by continuing to wait, so while you're still waiting, or so at the same time look for a new job and when you have found one, and reassess the situation with your current job, speak to your boss and ask if you need to continue waiting and then decide what you want to do. It is better to allow yourself to have more choice and options rather than letting others force you into making a decision that could make your circumstances worse. Keeping control of your own future. I hope this helps.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
19 Oct 11
Five months later I managed to enter this website at last and just saw your response. I hope you didn't think I wasn't serious enough not to answer. Thank you very much for your comment here. Actually it happened exactly as you said - they were just waiting for me to resign since there wasn't enough work for me, so I did. Actually during the last months almost all the employees quit their job with this company and now my boss faces serious bankrupsy due to the lack of employees and inability to pay salaries. I quit a month ago and I work from home from now. Thank ou once again for your time and good response.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
23 Feb 11
Hi iva!
Your problem appears complex. I would suggest you to look for another job in the meantime. I think your boss is just making you wait without any good prospect. Alternatively, you can delay the arrival of a child, till you are settled because if you decide to go for a child now, when your financial position is uncertain, then you will face problems in bringing up the child. All the best to you.
Your problem appears complex. I would suggest you to look for another job in the meantime. I think your boss is just making you wait without any good prospect. Alternatively, you can delay the arrival of a child, till you are settled because if you decide to go for a child now, when your financial position is uncertain, then you will face problems in bringing up the child. All the best to you.@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
23 Feb 11
Thank you very much for your response! Indeed I started to look for another job, as well as searching for alternative ways to make more money. I'm not sure if I can delay the "babymaking" for a long time, but I will surely try. Anyway, I think if I kept being confident in myself and my abilities, if I kept looking positively at things and not just sitting on my butt waiting for someone else to fix my problems, I would soon find a way to a proper solution.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Jan 13
Hello iba75cpb,
I am amazed when I check your profile, you only have 2 started discussions since you joined. But you have more than 400 post. It means you are very active participating other members post. I am thankful I found your respond to one of my discussions.
Anyway, lets go back to the issue. If I were you, I will try to find another job. What the used of that job you love which you are no longer compensated for more than 2 months. How you will sustain your living. Don't be a prison in one corner of your life. Just get out and roam around.
Anyway, lets go back to the issue. If I were you, I will try to find another job. What the used of that job you love which you are no longer compensated for more than 2 months. How you will sustain your living. Don't be a prison in one corner of your life. Just get out and roam around.
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
22 Feb 11
I don't know about this, because my income's kinda different (nowhere near enough, but I'm stuck with it, and can't work).
But I think I would look for another job while still employed.
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
22 Feb 11
You stress yourself by wanting to have the baby at a time when your career is hanging on a thin line. It would be advisable to look for a stable job quickly then set your plan for the baby into action. You could also consider if your husband is earning enough to support you. If so, you could enjoy life being a homemaker, concentrate on getting pregnant and doing some freelancing online.
Don't wait for your boss to come back. If he does and you still haven't got a job, you don't lose anything. If you have already found one, good luck to him.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
22 Feb 11
Thank you for responding. I am already looking for another job - no luck so far, but I will not give up. As to the baby, I don't think it can wait too long, since I am already almost 36 and don't have much time to waste before my biological clock expires. I mean I know about the wonders of medicine but the older I get, the risky it becomes. I wouldn't take any chances for the sake of the child I already have. So, life goes on and the searching for job, too,
