Why do some woman agree to be the other woman?

@sweet_pea (3326)
Philippines
March 3, 2011 12:44am CST
Are we having a shortage of men here? In my country, some women rationalize that a suitable man for them would either be married or taken. Or if they are not married, they are gay. So what do you think? why do single women get attracted to married men? What do married men have that single men don't have?
5 people like this
12 responses
@inu1711 (5288)
• Romania
3 Mar 11
Hello Sweet_pea, I wouldn't necessarily blame the women, but the married men. If they promised to be faithful to a woman, they must keep their promise. Many men don't tell to "the other woman" that they are married or that they already are involved in a serious relationship. In many cases they lie about their relationship, telling the girls that their marriage is over and they already started the divorce and so on and so forth.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Sorry but I don't agree with you that the blame is only for men, woman should be careful and be resourcesful. In the first place she should investigate first before she will enter into any relationship not only trust to those guys who is having flowery word only... see you around
3 people like this
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
So it is because of selfish lying men? But usually before you go into a relationship, you usually get to know the person you are dating right? How come they miss this vital information that the man they are seeing is married? Or some men are just so good at sweet talk so they get away with it. But even if they eventually know about it, how come they still cling to them?
2 people like this
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
actually sometime woman blinded from her feelings, promises and trust to guy
3 people like this
• United States
3 Mar 11
It is hard to pin-pint an exact why. What I do know is that when the woman immediately finds out that the man is married she needs to resist the temptation to continue. There is no worse thing in life when women turn on each other. They should have enough respect to understand that the man is a married and if he strays with her he will most likely stray again. There is no worse thing then women turning on each other. Although the heart may already be involved a respectable woman should not intentionally hurt another by proceeding with the married or taken man. What she needs to remember is that this could be her situation one day and it will not be a pleasant one. I do know this feeling well and have never understood when a women knowingly knows that a man is taken that she proceeds with any form of relationship with the man. As women we need to stick together and stand up for what is right, meaning not allow a man to do this to any woman, but so as long as the other woman is willing the men who do this are more then happy to oblige.
3 people like this
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
You got a point hardworkingirl. What goes around comes around. What gives the other woman an assurance that the man she's with will be hers forever? He cheated once, he can always do it again.
1 person likes this
• China
3 Mar 11
I am amazed to know of what you said.It is really what is called "Truth is stranger than fiction."I think that those women who does so are either hunting for novelty or abnormal psychology.
3 people like this
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
It happens. Even novels don't have happy endings. It is a continuous struggle for us to make ours a happy ending but sometimes it just won't work.
1 person likes this
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Actually there are so many ways why woman agree of being other woman or they attracted to married man. Being a victim, yes sometimes women are victims of those guys pretending as a single. Woman attracted becuase they are thinking some guys are responsible and good lover, and no choice from previous wrong decision... a few mistake of some woman... see you around
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Okay women are victims here. They made a mistake of involving themselves with married men. Can they not correct that mistake and just wait for a suitable bachelor to come along? It is never too late to do the right thing.
1 person likes this
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
yes the final decision is always with them (woman) but some are comfortable of accepting such situation... I don't know why? may be thinking nothing way
2 people like this
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Maybe because they think they don't have any other option when in fact they do. Or because it is easy money for them as what zerostat states. Men usually shower the other women with lots of gifts and free shopping spree. If they are fortunate they can even buy them a house or a car.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39084)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
hello, This is a question that remains unanswered in my mind. "why women wants to be the other woman" why can't they find single men for them. Now,since i do not know the answer,one thing i knew is those women are "homewrecker" And men,married men who keeps cheating their wives are "crooks" Whatever..that's my opinion.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
It is like a candy you are forbidden to eat. The temptation to taste it is so much that you just need to get it. Unfortunately, some women don't understand that the candy is already owned by someone. Still they want to share it even if there are so many candies in the jar to choose from.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39084)
• Philippines
5 Mar 11
awww...a candy sucks by the first person and others wants to taste (shuckkzzz so disgusting hahahaha) Yes,other women wanted to taste men ,married/taken men for a change huh? (women doesn't like single and inexperienced... It's like a second hand appliance/s the best way to describe
1 person likes this
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
They don't think they would get value for their money for a new appliance rather than a second hand one. Well it would only work out now, but in the long run it wouldn't last that long. Nice comparison too. Some women just don't get it.
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Perhaps these women who get attracted to married men find the idea very challenging. I think they feel a sense of achievement if they become successful in seducing a married man from his wife. Moreover, married men perhaps give these women an assurance that they are attracted to a straight man.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Well breaking a family to get the man I want is not at all an achievement for me. Many children get affected when their parents separate. Some really find it a challenge, but did they ever consider that there are people that would be hurt because of their selfishness? Yup, it is the fault of this men trying to hide in a sheep's skin, pretending to be single when they are not. It is like a merchandise with a wrong label that is really misleading. We can always exchange it right? So why can't some women do it? Exchange them for more valuable worthy persons deserving of their love and affection.
1 person likes this
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Hi areshstarfreak sometimes those people who's always think and their action is like CHALLENGE in the end of the day mostly FAILURE. Because they have now sure decission like come what may, then may be win or loss, but in reality always loss. see you around
2 people like this
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
A challenge where the price is a married man, would most likely to fail. In the long run, nobody wins in this situation, only losers.
1 person likes this
@staria (2782)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
Sweet, I will not tackle the other scenarios anymore. But I have a friend that always tends to have a relationship w/ married men, I think this is actually her preference. I am not really sure why, I do not have the guts to ask her. But if it is not, then why? It maybe because they want a thrilling and exciting relationship, I dont know. Just my two cents.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
I really don't get it. What is thrilling and exciting when there is a possibility you would actually ruin someone's family? I really don't find any fulfillment in it. But whatever their reason for being in such a situation. I hope they can deal with the percussion such actions would do.
@staria (2782)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
I really dont get it too. I nearly lost my family before because of such cases. Anyway, I tried to talk to her, but she just said that she likes the guy and that it all that really matters for her. So I just think that there are really people who like married men.
@staria (2782)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Holy cow!! Why is she allowing that family to abuse her? Those kind of wife(the original one) really irritates me! They can stomach the situation for the sake of money! Sad reality, but this thing happens in real life.
• United States
8 Mar 11
What do married men have that single man don't? A Wife. Many women are like me, I don't want to marry But I do want love. To me marriage is not a happy state. Since I was 13 , I preferred to be a mistress than a wife. To me, a wife Has to nag a man to do things , while as a mistress , you just ask. Wives Have to have babies , mostly, I Never want children. But the main thing is if I marry , I would have to change , to be a mistress, All I have to do is be myself! Yes I can do this with a single man Just as long he Never wants to marry. Like I told my guy , I will never marry him so if he Wants a wife , go find one!
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
I think our actions and decisions are influenced by the environment that we are in and the experiences that we go through. Wow! At 13 you already know you don't want to get married. When I was that age, most of the girls in my class wants to get married someday. Well there was a point when I really don't want to get married because when you do, you will forever be stuck with that person. We don't have divorce in my country. We only have an annulment but it can be quite pricey. If you figured you can't live together, it is easier when you are not married because there are no legal hassles to take care of. Just go and pack your bags and leave. But living in a very conservative family, my mom would never even think of it. So, I ended up making 2 people happy, mom and my husband. Well we don't have a perfect marriage, who does? Things get to be bumpy every now and then but we tried to work things out. I think it is a personal preference if one doesn't want to get married. It is one's choice. As long as that person is happy, and there is no one she is stepping into. I think that is just ok.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 11
So you married to make your mom happy? I can understand that. In fact I think arranged marriages are more sensible.Two people are to marry out of family obligation. I can respect that because between the husband and wife there can be an agreement that Could work out.But this trying to mix love and marriage together , I can't see. I have friends who have done it and they are happy and married at the same time but for me, never would happen.If you think 13 was too young to decide about marriage , what would you think if I told you by age 7 I Knew I didn't want to have children?So I definitely don't have a reason to marry.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
It is my mother's dream to see her daughter walk down the aisle. Well it is not an arranged marriage but I did love the man I married. Really at 7 you are really thinking about not having children? Well I haven't thought about that at that age. I was just busy playing with other kids around. I respect your choice, if marriage and children don't make you comfortable. But will there be any reason for you to change your mind? We really wouldn't know what will happen right?
1 person likes this
@gtdonna (1740)
5 Mar 11
Sweet-Pea, it takes two to tango as the saying goes. Since you ask the question about "why some women do it" I will stick to that and not discuss the men part of the issue. SOme women do it because they can get from the other man what they can't get from their boyfriends, spouses or causal dates in their life. The man they are after may be married, but sometimes he too may be treating the other woman better than his wife, even though he knows that he can't have her or is not willing to leave his wife for her. Some woman, are content with being the other woman in a married man life because they believe the relaitonship is better that way and feel that they can meet his needs better than his wife can...(sometimes because of religious views, the man can't divorce his wife, or do not want to divorce because of the kids still at home) So it is a broad subject and sometimes it is just the way life us!!
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Yeah, there are so many possible reasons why some women do it, but it will never justify the fact that it is morally wrong. Sometimes, we get so blinded with what we feel that we don't use our head in life-changing decisions.
• United States
4 Mar 11
I was the other woman for seven years. I met Tim (not his real name) at work, and we became friends. I was married back then (marriage was rocky then) so other than finding him attractive, I did nothing. After about three, three and a half years we began flirting. Both of us were natural cliffs so it seemed harmless. Then he gave a story about how his son Chuck (not his real name) wanted to meet the girl who sold him the Girl Scout cookies (my daughter). I didn't think anything of it, so I agreed. It was harmless, just two kids that were meeting for the first time. Tim and I let them explore the museum while he and I chatted. Later my daughter and I arrived home and my husband threw a fit, telling me that he was leaving in six weeks. Ok whatever--nothing had happened between Tim and me anyway but my husband was paranoid. The next time I saw Tim alone at work, he asked how my daughter was doing. I told him how much fun she had, then I confided what my husband told me. (I requested a divorce five and a half years earlier). Tim said he was sorry to hear, then left to do some work. Later he came back and told me how he 'wanted to get to know' me better, but said he didn't want trouble with my husband and wanted to wait to take me out alone until my husband was out of the house. And we waited. Now Tim had (as he termed) a roommate and friend named Monica (not her name)--and I figured maybe they were only friends. But it hurt that Tim so rarely wanted to spend time with me--it seemed that I was more of an 'appointment' than a girlfriend. And as time went on, I began to piece some things together. He had a quick excuse for everything, and I (sadly) believed him. I fell in love for the first time in my life, so I wanted to believe him. But about five months ago, I had had enough and decided to break it off. It was his birthday that Friday and since he usually called on Fridays, I was just going to wish him a Happy Birthday and make arrangements to see him the following day, when I planned to break it off. He didn't call and because I have some pride, I didn't call back. But when a full week went by and he hadn't called, I realized he ran away. It had become painfully obvious to me that I was just the 'other woman' all those years (seven), and while I'm embarassed that it went on that long, I realize that it was as much his fault as mine. I know the signs now and won't be so stupid in the future.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Well what is important is you are turning your life around. It isn't too late to correct a mistake. We learn from these mistakes and make us better persons by choosing what is right. I hope you can move on soon scorpiobabes.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
4 Mar 11
For some it may be that the other woman didnt know he was married. The male population are very good lairs too.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Well the women should know the person who she is dating. That is one purpose of dating to know all about the person who you are considering to go into a relationship. But let's not try to generalize here. Some men are indeed liars. Well I was victimized by one actually. I thought I was the only one, but it seems I was the other one. Because he had a girlfriend before me. I really hate it when I was being made a fool. Good thing it lasted for only a week. I figured it out when he suddenly disappeared. Well I'm happily married now. Glad I didn't end up with that lying man.
@noorhizat (209)
• Malaysia
4 Mar 11
Hi sweet_pea. This is my observation. Here where I live the ratio of men to women is around 6.7 women to 1 men... It's a matter of best women wins when it comes to getting the men... We have now what they call penkid....I don't know what are they but from what I hear they are women having relation with women ...is it due to the ratio ...I don't have the stat... Married men are kind of secure and stable...and some of them are still naughty :)
• Malaysia
4 Mar 11
hopefully all this will make everyone think of their role in life as God has put it when He put us on this earth.