Losing virginity before marriage is good or not

Delhi, India
March 18, 2011 5:28am CST
dear mylotters, is it bad to lose your virginity before marriage. would you share how and when you have lost your virginity and what mental feelings you had after that. I lost virginity at the age of 17 as my girlfriend was very excited and i was afraid due to a lot reasons.
6 people like this
24 responses
@staria (2783)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Though it is important, that is not the major thing in marriage. Just be honest w/ your wife to be and if she accepts it just means that she loves you for what you are. We do mistakes in the past but that should not keep you from moving forward.
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 11
yes i dont think that there is no boundary for losing virginity even marriage.
@staria (2783)
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
I do not put virginity aside, but if you lose it because you have loved the person somehow it is not a mistake. You did lose it for someone else other than your wife/husband that's the only issue imo.
• India
19 Mar 11
If it is not a mistake, then Why did you tell this """We do mistakes in the past""" ? You were telling if a person who has losed virginity to other person other than his/her spouse, then it was mistake and it is past. So, i just thought to clarify you this is not mistake.
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
hello manojkrs, well if you are a guy i think it's not a big deal loosing your virginity as they say " I am a man if i give my body to anyone it's not a big deal after all" but if this saying will apply to a girl sad to say everyone will think she is a B***** but for me if you can preserve your virginity it's good loosing it will always be our choice. But some people say that it is a different if your partner is a virgin especially girls, but it does mean that if you are not a virgin anymore there will be less love i don't think so your partner will love you because of who you are and not because you have this big letter V on your body. have a nice day
• Delhi, India
21 Mar 11
i hope that you are still virgin and may be don't know about the feelings of people who accidentally lost their virginity. Sometimes losing virginity is our choice and sometimes it is not. Depends upon everyone.
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
Depends on how a boyfriend can force a girlfriend doing this thing or it depends how girlfriend show motive to do such thing everyone has different outlook on this matter whatever it is it's their choice not ours and they are the one who is going to face the consequences. have a nice day!
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
It will never be an assurance for a lasting relationship because after the heat is off everything will be the same again. You can find someone who is destined to be with you
@neildc (16952)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
i don't think virginity is a big issue in marriage. the most important thing is love. i remember i have asked something about virginity and marriage on here. let me check it out.... after 5 minutes... http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1626722.aspx
@neildc (16952)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
is it with the religion or their tradition? is it with the belief of the person or the people around?
• India
18 Mar 11
It is mostly due to personal belief. Religion has very little to do with saving virginity till marriage. But being little religious can help us to keep virginity till marriage.
@neildc (16952)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
lust overcome beliefs, most of the time.
• United States
19 Mar 11
I am glad that I had lost it when I was not quite 17...there was a boy that I loved from afar and I just took the opportunity. I wanted it to be with someone I liked because I knew it would hurt, and I didn't not want fond memories.
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
i think you was excited about what you was going to do. you lost your virginity for a boy whom who have loved a lot. it better chance for you.
• United States
19 Mar 11
Probably...I (mistakenly) thought he would want a relationship, but I think he was more scared than me!
• United States
19 Mar 11
Yes, men have performance issues. And I think it was his first time too--I cared for him more than he (apparently) did for me. Not a big deal now, but I chose who I wanted to have my first time with and that made it better.
• Canada
19 Mar 11
I think it is up to ther individual person although i must point out that saving yourself for marriage is a rather modern idea go back 500 years to acient Rome and men inparticular it was not expected at all
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
hello, each persons has right to retain or lost its virginity but sometime it is like a bad dream for many people who lost it before marriage.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
Yes it is true it is like a bad dream.
• Canada
19 Mar 11
and for many many others it is anything but a bad dream nobody i know waited until marriage and nobody regretted it either
@Augustinev (7020)
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 11
I think that losing virginity before marriage is not good , all religion and social manners all accepts it so before marriage never do like that activities it is god to do after marriage also. augustine
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 11
yes you are right there are many social and religion manners that prevent from it and to wait till marriage.
• India
18 Mar 11
Yes you are right my friend. But sadly, only few people are religious or social.
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 11
and the people those are not committed with these thing lost their virginity before marriage.
@Ceandra (68)
• Singapore
21 Mar 11
I'm not sure if it 's good or bad. I think it depends on whatever culture you grew up in. I grew up in a collectivist community - traditional views and thoughts on topics like virginity. I guess it really depends on one's own thoughts as well. For me, I haven't really found someone I really, really love, so I still have my virginity haha.
• Delhi, India
21 Mar 11
yes you are right and losing virginity is depends upon the culture you grew in. But this question is also about you that have you lost your virginity or not and if lost what mental feelings have you felled?
• Singapore
21 Mar 11
I already said that I have not lose my virginity yet. Plus, there would be no mental hurt in it because I would be the willing party. I guess.
@celticeagle (67097)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar 11
I lost my virginity when I married. It just all depends on your moral standing and what you feel is best at the time. Experience before marriage is the theme of the times. People can be very exciting about such an undertaking and still wait. Being prepared for being sexually active is important and wise.
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
yes most of the people do it before and some retain it for the one whom to marry. its had different importance for different people
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (67097)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar 11
Yes, you are correct.
@dismalgrin (2472)
• United States
19 Mar 11
I saved my virginity until I was 18. I was date raped and I was so upset to have that taken from me. I don't know if saving your virginity for marriage is important or not, but it should be saved for someone special and not taken from a person as it was taken from me.
• United States
20 Mar 11
Lol... well that was 10 years ago and I'm most definitely not a virgin now. Where I live it is very unusual to even make it as long as I did and still be a virgin it is just unheard of. My sister lost her virginity at age 13! And my other sister was 12. And they were both by choice. I think around 15 is average in my neck of the woods. Most people I know don't even believe in marriage anymore. I'm still old fashioned. And I would love to get married, but I don't really think that is in the cards for me. I have met a wonderful man that is willing to stay with me until we die, but he was hurt very badly in a marriage before he had ever met me and he does not feel the need to ever pursue marriage again. To me, it's not worth it to leave him in the hopes that I can find a man just as wonderful that would be willing to marry me. And who knows, maybe in time he will come to trust me and realize that the greatest gift he could give me would be marriage. Maybe one day he will do that for me. I won't hold me breath though. I will just say that for all practical intents and purposes I'm married and the fact that I was not able to save myself for him doesn't matter... he loves me just as I am.
• India
21 Mar 11
My point was that girls who are rape victims will also be considered virgin in my view.
@alottodo (3063)
• Australia
19 Mar 11
I tend to think that virginity have nothing to do with how happy a marriage can be...males are usually not virgin when they get marry...to me some people make a very big deal about virginity...I just ask myself what's the point?...and no I would not share with any one when and how I lost my virginity that is private! and very rude to ask.
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
i think opposite. as if you are a girl and still virgin before marriage your husband will be the luckiest person. every man wants a virgin girl as his wife and not every man is not virgin till marriage most of them are virgin and wait for there chance to come.
• India
21 Mar 11
"""males are usually not virgin when they get marry...""" For your kind information, there are many males who waits for the marriage, even on this blog you can find many virgin males.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
I lost my virginity when i was in college at age 19, My boyfriend and I was having fun with his friends. I never drink with them i just have good conversations with their girlfriends too but when his friends and their girlfriends went home and I was about to go home too he let me drink a juice before he will drive me home. After that he take my virginity away. After that he promised me for a marriage but as time past by he is becoming worst and have lots of girls on her side. he became a two timer. The worst thing is he always promise things he never do and when i came back from a trip and went to his apartment with my two friends we saw him with a woman on top of him and when he saw me he followed me to the kitchen and i told him to stay away from me but then i accidentally stubbed him with a knife And run away with my car and have my first accident and i got injured. Got problems with my eyes right now. I thought i am going to be blind After that moment he came asking for forgiveness. Asking me to comeback to him but I didn't. As we broke up and never see him for a while and when i saw him he is with a wheelchair. Until now i didn't forgive him. Now I have my boyfriend, before i accept him in my life i told him everything and he also became honest to me. That he also wants to have me as virgin. I cried that moment because i know of my mistake and can't give him that. he cried too. But he came to me and he said he love me no matter what, we are going to stat new life. That he will love me no matter what. Now am 24 and we are planning to get married this coming december. For those people, It is true the only thing you can give as a gift to your husband is your virginity, however you can't compare true love with that virginity.
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
you have passed a very terrible experience of life. A man whom you loved and given her your virginity. Its very hard to get rid of those memories. Glad to here that now you have got the one whom you can trust more than you. wishing you for your happy life.
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
It was so painful for me but i have to be strong, he take my virginity when i feel dizzy and feel sleepy that time because he put something on my drinks.
@tiina05 (2323)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
hello, I am much careful in virginity because I wont my future husband take it to me. I don't want to lose my virginity because I am afraid of my husband not to accept that I am not pure when he get me. I just want to be respected with my husband that is why I am really careful with it. and actually as of now that I am 20 I am very proud that I am still a virgin. hope it help.
• India
18 Mar 11
@ tiina05 Good! Keep it up! Your husband too will be proud of you, that you saved your virginity for him.
@donharis (307)
• Pakistan
19 Mar 11
U r doing the right thing, i wish u a prosperous life had, Keep it up!
@heart4u (409)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
actually as for me it would be better to loose your virginity after marriage. because honestly we all want to give our virginity to the man who will love and stick to us till the end of time, we dont want to give it to the wrong person or something. there is no harm in waiting for the right time well this is just my opinion everything still depends on you
• Delhi, India
14 Apr 11
your opinion to loose virginity after marriage is good but only a few people do this. I have lost it when i was very young. Lot of people are there like me and they all feel it like a bad experience.
• India
21 Mar 11
Welcome to mylot I was married in 1966 and i was 23 then, i was virgin It is good if some body remain vigin till his marriage because he certainly expects his wife to be a virgin.. Thanks for sharing Cheers. God bless you, have a nice day ahead. Professor ‘Bhuwan’. .
• Delhi, India
21 Mar 11
this is the right way to deal with virginity if you are virgin till marriage, you can't give your life partner more Valuable gift than that.
19 Mar 11
i dont think its bad. i was 18 and it was my first real boyfriend as i had never been very popular with boys. i think these days it is very rare that anyone are virgins before they get married.
• India
21 Mar 11
It is rare to find virgin but not impossible.
• United States
19 Mar 11
well i am sorry that your girl friend made you lose your virginity it not right to losee it if your not ready and it should be with the one that you want to spend that rest of your life with and i hope you use protection
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
thanks for your appreciation. i was young that time and didn't know what i was going to do. even i was very excited about that. after some time i got to know that i have done a big mistake.
@cream97 (29180)
• United States
18 Mar 11
Hi. manojkrs291. When it happens at a young age it is no way of turning back. I lost my virginity to an azz hole when I was 16. I hate to talk about him because he is a nasty slime ball! I wished that I had never met him and I wished that I could have saved my virginity for a man that was at least worth it. That man should have been my husband. When I met my husband he was a virgin. I was his first, and I appreciated this too.
• Delhi, India
19 Mar 11
yes for most of the people losing virginity at an age below 18 is like a bad dream as in your case you don't want to remember that movement.
@Jiabsa (512)
• India
18 Mar 11
Losing virginity before marriage is not good. Everybody like to marry a partner with 100% virginity. I got married ten years before. But I didn't have lose my virginity at the time of my marriage.
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 11
that is good that you was virgin till marriage. Not all people are so lucky as they can hardly find a life partner like you.
@dexterous21 (1180)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
During the past centuries, losing your virginity means a lot. However, people change. In my opinion whether it is bad or not depends on how someone view life. That's whether word conservative gets in. However, we also have the word free liberated which the total opposite of this first one. Actually, humans think that something is bad depends on how a group view it. If majority disagrees, it is bad. It would be better if both them is virgin, the man and the woman. It would be unfair if the man looks for someone virgin if he himself is not.
• India
18 Mar 11
And wouldn't it be unfair if women looks for virgin man if she is not ?
@sender621 (14972)
• United States
18 Mar 11
Loosing your virginity is a matter of choice. It doesn't really make a marriage any better or any worse. Loss of virginity or not does not change the kind of person you are or how your relationship will be.
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 11
yes you are right my friend but who cares about it as losing virginity is a new type of excitement now a days.