Coping with Grief

@dorannmwin (36392)
United States
March 20, 2011 10:14pm CST
Last week I asked for advice as to what to do for my friend whose cousin was in the hospital and brain dead. Well, her cousin passed away last week on Monday and she was buried on Thursday. So, on Friday I finally had the opportunity to take some food down for her and a check and a card for her husband as well. I ended up meeting with them at a bar not far from where they live. Well, it seems like the widower's way of dealing with his grief is to drink away his problems. I really don't think that this is a healthy way to deal with things, but I've not seen him for over ten years so I don't think that I can say anything about it. This leads me to a few questions. Have you ever experienced the death of someone that you were very close to? If you have experienced that kind of a loss in your life how did you deal with it? For those of you that are lucky enough to have never experienced the death of a loved one, how do you think that you would deal with your grief?
2 people like this
5 responses
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Mar 11
It was my mother, and I guess I was just numb. But she was sort of lying around "waiting to die" for years, so I suppose I kind of mourned in advance.
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
Losing someone we love is very painful. After a significant loss we experience all kinds of difficult and and surprising emotions. Grieving is a personal and a highly individual experience. How we grieve depends on many factors, including our personality and coping style, our life experience, our faith and the nature of the loss. It takes time. Healing happens gradually, there is no normal timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Based on my grief experienced, it's important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. I think one of the important factors in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren't comfortable in talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it's important to express them, sharing our loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Apr 11
I actually tend to think that the grieving that we go through is really something that never really ends. Instead, I tend to think that it is something that changes over time. However, I will agree with you that there are probably no two people in the world that grieve in the same way.
• China
21 Mar 11
Life is not all fun .That one takes to drinking to drown his grief is not only harmful to his health but produces very little effect.Last Oct.Dad who was 92 passed away ,I was deeply grieved by it.May well say that It has been the most grievous thing in my born days.However I am a introvert,I didn't cry loudly at that time but my eyes brimmed with tears.So far I still recall the painful experience.I often take a bit of comfort in Dad's video during his lifetime.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
4 Apr 11
I do tend to believe that remembering the good times that we were lucky enough to share with our loved ones is one of the best things that we as people can do during the time that we are grieving their loss. It is healing and also reminds us of happier times in our own lives.
@rhadzie (68)
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
i have already tried to lose someone very dear to me. i can affirm that i have a very hard time coping and the pain is still with me, 2 years after already. i have experienced different stages of grief. i started with denial stages, pain and sorrow stages and acceptance stages. it has been one of the worst things that happen to my life. i felt the world stop from revolving around me and the pain was overflowing around my body. it was one thing that changed my life forever.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
4 Apr 11
Every time that we lose someone that we love, it will change our lives forever. I've lost many people that I cared about during my life to date and it has changed me permanently. I really don't know who I would be today had it not been for the loss of loved ones that I have faced during my life.
@gelayagui98 (1336)
• Australia
21 Mar 11
There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
4 Apr 11
You are absolutely correct. Now, one would be lying to say that the pain completely goes away with time because I don't believe that is the case. But there is a time that you start to feel better about the loss that you've experienced.