My boyfriend come to work in china for me, but i just keep breaking his heart
By emilieyang
@emilieyang (94)
March 22, 2011 10:33pm CST
My friend is french. We met last november,after dating for one week, he went back to France, and we contact each other by phonecall and Internet almost everyday. We miss each other so much, and can't stand the distance anymore. So he decided to come to work in china.
Finally, he come here in 15th March. We met for several times. I find that he is such a young boy.he is very kind and gental. But i also find that he is a little unmature and senstive. Like when we walk in the street, I don't want hold the hand. He will be a little upset,and keep asking "what's wrong,ma cherie?". You know what i want to say,:what's wrong with you?
Yesterday, we were having dinner, i was not in a good mood, because some working problems bother me. He felt it and he thought maybe it was because of him, which is not.Then he started his speech:"Cherie,I know you are unhappy now. And in my distinct, c'est moi,i made the mistake.Tell me where i can fix ,s'il vous plait..." I kept silence, after 10 mins, he finished the blah,blah,blah. I think i'm going crazy now.i said" i just wonder that if you are the person which i loved before." Then i left.
About 30 mins later, i got a call from him, I hear a strange sound, and he did not say a word, oh, my god, he is actually crying!!! And then he said, i feel so lonely, i came here all along just for you, and you just said that you don't love me. What should i do, what should i do?
Am i break his heart?
How could i deal with such a sentimental boyfriend?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@rahulideasetter (61)
• India
27 Mar 11
hi i am rahul from india. dear!!!
listen dear you have trounderstabd this in he born and live in the atomsphere of france where it so common then china so you have to do some compromise. and you have to also said them that " china`s atomshphere is too difference from his france said him that you are trying to compromise wor him but he have to also understand this
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
24 Mar 11
Hi Emilie! I don't think your boyfriend is sentimental. He just love you so much that he wants you to be happy when you are with him. I suggest that if there is something that's bothering you about your work, do tell him so he won't be facing a blank wall because he doesn't know what is happening to you. You should be honest with him if you love him the way he loves you. He is so sweet that he have decided to cross the countries just to be with you, you must be special. Tell him about your problems and I know he will be willing to give you support. If you keep him for granted, he will be hurt most.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
23 Mar 11
Sounds to me as if you are making a mistake common to immature women, you clearly want your BF to be different from how he is but then you need to talk to him so that you both come to understand each others needs. Remember he is in a foreign country with a very different culture from his own and things you think should be taken for granted may not be in his culture
all the best urban
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
24 Mar 11
It could be that he is not the guy for you. It's one thing to be sentimental and sensitive but this sounds more like he is very,very insecure. It's sweet that he travelled all that way to see you but he sounds as if he has way too many expectations. You basically only really know each other over the phone and internet which tells me that you need to take things slower. Only you can decide whether to go further with this.
@dynzdolina (381)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
You're lucky that your boyfriend loves you that much! It can be seen with his gestures. I hope you will accommodate him and spend the most precious time with him while he is in your country.
@MrsLittle (4)
• United States
24 Mar 11
I would sit down and talk to him. If that is the way you feel its is not going to change some time down the road. It is better to get it out there and over with so you can both move on with your lives. Yes he moved to China to be with you, but its better to tell him its not working now, then waste a year of his and your life. Some people just are not compatible. By trying to force together what doesn't fit you are just hurting your self and your boyfriend. Good Luck!
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
He is right, he came to China just because of you but I think it is not important with you. You should talk to him properly, tell him what you dont want for him to do, what upsets you. Talking with him could settle the issues between the two of you. I hope that you still give him a chance, a man to come from a very far land just to see and be with you is a sign that he loves you more than anything else.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
23 Mar 11
Well, you should sit down with your bf and talk about what you want, what is bothering you right now and what do you like him to do for the moment. That way he would understood you better and act accordingly. French is famous for their passion, you should show a little bit passion for him, since he came to your country to be with you.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
23 Mar 11
It is so hard, even harder cause the guy s the most sentimental. I think you should care for his feelings as much as you can but you can't help to hurt someone that it's over sensitive, and he is! Girl you need to live your life, we cannot think about what others are going to take something we do 24/7, just try as much as you can but talk to him that he have to start to learn how to think for him self, to stop the sadness, to think twice if what you are doing isn't of your right to do. It's he who has to control more, be more mature dear. And you are very kind for caring that much.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
your boyfriend must love you so much to become that way, however, you are right that he is too sentimental and immature to be thinking that all things will be about him. maybe you can talk to him sincerely and try to make it work. Give it a try at least, tell him what you expect from him and vice versa...then if he remained the same and you feel you really cant handle it anymore, then the best thing you can do is to be honest with him...good luck
@shuaicoolmating (22)
• China
23 Mar 11
Well, I guess you are a Chinese. I am a Chinese. Man are always late to be mature, which is very normal. You said that he is senstive, but according to your example, I don't think he is, that's only beacuse he takes care of you. When you are in bad mood, you should tell him why. It's really hard to know what's somebody thinking, so the best way is just to tell him the reason. Maybe you are unmature, either. If both of you can understand each other, then you can get along well. He came here only for you, if you can't understand him, he will go away from you. You can just go to talk with him, I can tell that he loves you very much. If you tell him the reason and explain everything, he can understand you. Good luck
@even1217 (61)
• China
23 Mar 11
Tell him immediately what you think and how you feel.
He must be very sad and lonely since here you are the only one whom he can talk to.To him, you are the reason for his moving to China.If you show a little upset or unhappiness, he will be upset, too. And he will be suspicious of the rightness of chasing you and the whole thing to come to china.
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
23 Mar 11
Tell him the truth about how you feel. The sooner the better - that way he can move on with his life and find the woman who truly loves him. Passionate people are meant to get their hearts broken, it teaches them to be strong. Nearly every one has had to deal with a broken heart at some point in their life.
