How do you support your husband through a job crisis?

United States
March 23, 2011 7:53pm CST
My husband and I recently decided to move from California back to Washington to be closer to family. My husband left his career where he was very successful and was making good money. We both decided though to give everything up to be closer to family and live in a place where one day we could start a family. Well now we have been back in Washington for 4 months. We both have jobs now, but I got a better job than him working for the county. He is selling jewelry now and is getting more and more frustrated daily. He is upset because I make more money than him. He also can't stand his job and he feels like he is not using his potential. Not a day passes where he doesn't mention how he wish he never quit his job. I am trying to be supportive, but each day it gets a little harder. We both made this decision and knew what it would mean for us. I feel like he blames me for wanting to move back closer to family and friends. I have been trying to encourage him to get a new job that would challenge him more, but he won't even look. I just don't know how to help him when all he does is complain, but won't try to change anything to make it better... : ( Help!
1 person likes this
2 responses
@youless (93716)
• Guangzhou, China
24 Mar 11
I am sorry to hear that. Moving to live in a new place is full of challenge. It needs some sacrifice. It is not easy. As a man, the pride is so important. Your husband may feel bad since he can't earn more like before. And you can't have a comfortable life. Perhaps changing a job for him will be a good idea. But as you said, it seems he is not interested in it now. Perhaps both of you need to have a break. Try to have a short trip in the weekends. Perhaps it will release the pressure. I love China
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
24 Mar 11
I think that the best solution would be to have a long talk. He needs to know exactly how you feel, about the move, about him, and about the way it is making you feel. Just be careful not to came across as accussing or demeaning in any way because if you do, it will certainly have a negative affect rather than a positive one.