Selling whats left of him
@shaggin (71666)
United States
March 27, 2011 8:11am CST
My husband died on Tuesday March 22. Friday was his viewing and Saturday was his funeral. The ground is frozen and the cemetary he is going to be buried at wont allow us to do the graveside service and burial until May :(
When my father in law called me asking if I had a pair of my husbands pants here I told him he would have plenty at his apartment and he said he couldnt go there. I took it to mean he couldnt bring himself to go there so I told him I would get started the day after the funeral (yesterday) moving the stuff to my house until I figured out who to give what to. I kept calling my father in laws cell phone but I couldnt get ahold of him. I waited until about noon or so and then I got keys from my sister because she had cleaned my exes house on Wednesday and hadent given the keys back yet.
I went out and took from 1pm-7pm moving all his stuff getting it loaded in my van by myself while taking care of my two kids. When I was done I was so completely mentally and physically exhausted I felt sick to my stomach.
On the way home my father in law was coming the other way and made me pull to the side of the road. Aparantly he didnt want him in the apartment without him. I wanted to go alone without anyone there so I could spend time with my kids there one last time alone to go through his things.
I was going to take all his stuff and divide it between everyone in the family so they could all enjoy what he loved but his dad is selling everything to cover the cost of the funeral. To me that is so sad. My husband wont be working for him anymore so theres $15,000 a year he will save not having to pay his son to work for him. My husband would have rather had his stuff given to people who cared about him. I understand from his dads point of view because my ex had so many bills that he ran up and everything but still I dont think if it was me I would ever sell my kids things I would give them away!
My father in law is being so ridiculous about it that he was saying all the stuff that he wanted and he was even trying to get the coffee pot. Seriously the coffee pot??? It was a $10 coffee pot that was my grandfathers that I let my husband have. I dont know whats wrong with people after their loved ones die people get so greedy like that its sad.
2 people like this
2 responses
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
30 Mar 11
That is really sad. For him to feel this way, even to his own son.
I commend you though for going through the experience of sorting his things out. It would be difficult for me to fathom such a task, so I believe you when you say that you were not only physically exhausted, but mentally too.
I hope your father-in-law would see the situation better. And think of the better memories, instead of hanging on to the bad ones about his son.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I worked for 6 hours to clean up the house and unload the house and put it all in my van. I was only half done after that 6 hours. I was so tired I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I could barely move. It was so sad being there knowing Jim would never walk in that door and he would never enjoy those video games that he loved anymore. Plus my two kids were there with me and I had to take care of them. I broke down emotionally when I got home. I was just a mess.
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
31 Mar 11
I feel a lot less stressed knowing that the kids and I are all going to be getting social security benefits. I dont have to worry so much about money now. I dont have to be on the computer so much trying to earn what little I can. I can sit with my kids all day and do what I want without any distraction. Then I can come online and do what I want at night or during the day while the kids watch a movie. I wish though that he was still alive. I'd rather live with none of the money then have the kids have to live without their father.
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
29 Mar 11
I can only sympathize with you, shaggin. You father-in-law is really like some unfeeling dude. But let it pass. He isn't worth your while. As I see it, he should be mourning his son's passing, not ranting.
Do take care of yourself and your children. 
