how responsible are we to our friends?
March 30, 2011 6:02pm CST
I have this girlfriend who was having some rough time and she called me up to vent.Ok,thats cool because thats what friends are for.Whether i am busy or not she got 100% of my attention. I started my new job almost six months after her problem started and she called me at work to complain and express her sentiments.I told her its all cool she calling me at home but work isnt the place for the long phone calls. She got pissed and called me all sorts of name.I have a responsibilty to my friend but when it comes to my job i feel more incline to stop her. "Friends should always be there when we need them even when they are having crisis themselves'.How selfish is that.I cant lose my job over you calling me trying to get advice to fixing your problems. How responsible are you to your friends?
• United States
1 Apr 11
You were completely reasonable to draw the line when it comes to work. If someone is calling you all day during work, there's an unhealthy relationship there. It sounds sort of like dependency. You could tell her to send you emails so that you can give your attention to her when you have the time, or tell her to find more friends so she can vent to them sometimes, instead of taking up all your time.
1 Apr 11
I think friendships should be held on equal footing. A give-and-take situation, if you will. That even though one can use the other as a means to vent, it should be realized that this is an imposition. That there are certain liberties that the ventee is taking away from the person listening to the rant. And as much as your friend wants you to see it her way, she should also see it your way. Or what she is putting you through by listening to her.
• United States
31 Mar 11
I had a friend like this also and it was so out of hand. I use to spend 1 - 2 hours completely listening and trying to advice. The thing is that the more I listened and advised the more she would call about the same issue. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly but it was so out of hand that she would call me at work and while I was in meetings and she had to leave messages she would call the main number to get me interrupted from meetings. I spoke to her numerously that she had to cut me a break while I was at work. She never understood and would be upset thinking I was not a good friend. So I had to sort of train her a bit and ignore some of the calls. Funny thing is that she will stop for a while and restart up again. Although I am not working now, but she is I can't help but wonder how much work she can't accomplish because she is always on the phone. So I feel I have gone beyond my responsibly as a friend but some do not understand at times.