Friendship is a two way street

@megamatt (14331)
United States
April 14, 2011 11:27am CST
There is nothing more disheartening than someone who expects all of the support and help in the world, but tends to be rather reluctant to help you when the situation turns around. These friends do make you wonder if these people were ever friends to begin with. I've had people in my life like this every now and again and I'm sure many others have as well. When you reflect upon these people who expect everything from you, it really makes you wonder if they were your friend at all.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@sabhari05 (263)
• India
2 May 11
Yes Friendship is a two way street because a good friend could guide you in a success path and help you when you are in trouble.And in the similar way a bad friend could guide you the wrong path and make you in deep trouble and does not help when you are in trouble.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
2 May 11
I think really when you think about it, XP was going to be the high water mark of Microsoft. There are people who are still clinging on but the support is rapidly burning out and I believe that it is very close to being done. Then again, I know people who took a while to get off of Windows 98. Windows users are a curious lot a lot of the time. About fifty percent of them rush to the newest operating system, before all of the bugs are really worked out, and the other fifty percent refuse to upgrade until their hand is forced. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@polaris77 (2019)
• Bacau, Romania
15 Apr 11
I guess it happens to many people to go through such unpleasant moments when they discover that their friends are not reliable,and the closer we felt to that friend,the bigger is the disappointment,but I guess the only way of seeing is a person is a true friend is to see how they respond when we ask for help in difficult situations.If there is at least one person who will stand beside us and help us as much as he or she can in hard times,we can feel happy because real friendships and all those who left us and didn't care about oour problems don't even deserve to have a place in our memory.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
15 Apr 11
It is pretty unpleasant to say the least. It really does make us appreciate those who are true friends. It does leave a bit of a sickly taste in our mouths however, that these people have played us and no doubt will do so with people who are unaware of their true nature into later on. So disappointing to say the very least. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• India
15 Apr 11
according to me friend ship is a gods gift every day we will meet number of persons but only some persons are real friends to us but the only thing is we should identify who is our friend and who is not,the identification is of prime important and and a real friend will get closer to u with out your knowledge,here only one variation that is if we meet with a real friend then ours is a one way street other wise it is two ways when we meet with a person who srikes us every day,the identification of person and true friend is of prime importnant.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
15 Apr 11
True friends are most certainly a gift. When you think about them, they are not as common as one would think. Slightly more common with some people but they are really a treasure with most. Therefore, a friendship is something that can be built over a time but can break due to a slight miscue in a moment. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• Philippines
15 Apr 11
Friendship is supposed to be a symbiotic relationship but sad to say, there are those who take it for granted and just treat it as something to turn to when the going gets rough and expect you to give an all out support.And when you cant deliver what is expected of you, you even become the bad guy... Isn't it so unreasonable?
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
15 Apr 11
I think friendship in general has been rather tainted in recent years. That is sadly a fault of what people are expected of, rather than any individual people. Still there are many people who are going to follow a rather tainted example. It does not make it right, but that's what tends to happen. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• United States
15 Apr 11
You are right they are not friends they are people that can be called free loaders because they feed off of you support and kindness but when the shoes is on the other foot they will not try to do that for you in return.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
15 Apr 11
The world is full of people like this. Just makes your other friends, who appreciate your help and also are good enough to give you help in return to the best of their abilities. At least if people make an attempt, I'll respect it, even if the attempt is not as good. Not making the attempt, that's really something that frustrates me. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• Canada
15 Apr 11
I think a lot of times a friendship does start off as a two way street. It's only when we get to know the person more that traits we may not like so much would come out. I got to know a girl a couple of years ago, who at first seemed great. She seemed very easy to get on with, and I had no trouble introducing her to my other friends. As time went by, it seemed like she was telling me one thing, and my friends, another thing. Things came to a head when she told my husband that I'd cheated on him with several different guys. This was so far from the truth, and so unbelievable that it took my breath away. And of course, she waited till I was in the UK visiting family to drop her little bombshell. My husband didn't believe her, and called me the very next day to tell me what she'd said. When I arrived home a few weeks later, she tried to deny everything and said that my husband had asked her if I'd cheated. Needless to say, I told her I didn't believe her and wanted nothing more to do with her. Since then, she has gone on to mess with a few of my friends that I introduced to her, and they too, have cut her off. She left me feeling guilty for ever having introduced her to my other friends, though they've told me it wasn't my fault. She had us all fooled, but the truth came out in the end. It was a lesson learned well.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
15 Apr 11
Those are some good points. The more we know a person, we know a lot of them. Some it is good and some of it is not so good. People do tend to make a good first impression but the impressions that they make later on are going to show their true colors. The example that you gave is the textbook example of how something like that can happen. It is just an ugly world out there sometimes. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• India
14 Apr 11
All of us are definitely aware of the old saying A friend in need is a friend indeed.So definitely its a give and take relationship.As you said it is a two way street but with one difference that it is selfless.Once my grandfather gave me an example So I will quote is words. You have a loaf of bread someone snatches it,he is your enemy. Someone has three loaves of bread and you have none.He gives one to you,he is your sibling. Someone has one loaf of bread and you have none.He shares a half with you,he is your friend. Someone has one loaf of bread and you have none,he gives thw whole loaf to you.He must be one of your parents.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
15 Apr 11
That is intriguing to say the very least. A very good example. When we are at our lowest, a true friend is going to really jump in and help us when we need the help. They are really going to help us out. A good support system is wonderful. Hopefully we have the chance to pay them back someday. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
14 Apr 11
People like this make you value the friends that are there when you need them as well. It can be frustrating when friends seem to need you for everything but then don't want to help out when you may need them. It really does make you wonder if they are really true friends. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who seem to act this way.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
A true friend is a great value to be sure. I mean it is just something that you cannot really put a value on but its extremely valuable. Therefore those people that are fair weather, do make the true friends look far better in comparison. You're too right, too many people act this way. This is one of the high flaws of the world in general. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@Shellyann36 (8916)
• United States
14 Apr 11
I have known a few people to be that way. One of my friends called me up and needed help desperately. She was living with a man and needed to get out immediately. My Fiance, myself and another of our friends went to help her move. We spent all day and half the night moving everything out of the house then me and the other friend went back again another day and helped more. Well fast forward a few years and the friend that chipped in and helped with the work was in a position that she might need the same type of help. I requested that the friend we had helped move earlier help us because it was a similar situation. I got several excuses until I pulled the "she did this for you when you were in desperate need and it was no where near as bad for you as her situation is for her" card on her. She finally relented to helping or discovered that she had some time she could spare. I think it is sad when people do this. Myself and the helpful friend literally went and moved a 2bedroom, 1 bath, 1 office house for her while she stayed on the phone crying most of the day and I don't mean that this was packed boxes, I mean we packed it and moved it. Alot of work and effort and friendship went into that move but when it came time for payback the other friend was not wanting to be as helpful. It irks me to no end. I do not ask for help from anyone other than my family these days. Friends are not too trustworthy as I have found out.
@QeeGood (1214)
• Sweden
14 Apr 11
I've had and have different kind of friends. For certain I've never had a friend who has been there for me in the midst of hell or in the state of emergency. At those times I had only myself to count on. I have friends who I can discuss problems with and share daily matters with. I have friends with whom I do physical activities with. As I have friends in school. I do not have a genuine true loyal friend who is there for me at any time except for my own self.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
That is really a sad state to be in. It just proves that people who you might believe to be friends, are rather fickle. It really does disgust me in many ways to say the very least. Then again, that just tends to be the nature of a lot of things in the world. When it all breaks down, there is not much about life that is in fact fair. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
14 Apr 11
Friendship does indeed have to go two ways in order for the relationship to have any meaning. if friendship was just one-sided someone would be losing out. It just wouldn't be fair to anyone that way.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
With friends like these, who really needs enemies. In the end, that is not a balanced friendship. In fact, it is not a balanced relationship of any time when you think about it. It is really just a twisted representation of something that is really not meant to be. That is really all that there is to that. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• United States
14 Apr 11
I have learned in life that once I suspect that my friendships are only one-sided, that I have to distance myself because I am loyal and feel for me that friendships come with a responsibility and that responsibility means that I should not be the only loyal one of the two. During my early observations I do assess as to what and when the friendship started to fail, which leads me to see that I have been the only side being the loyal one. Therefore, I can be amicable but no longer consider the person to be a friend.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
That is a harsh realization to come to for sure. Sadly, one that is going to happen eventually. We might be blind for a moment but when we think about it, we should have seen it coming. There are times where I think that a part of us does justify what they are doing for a short time, but we come to our senses after a time and then its time to put a great amount of distance between us and these people. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• United States
14 Apr 11
I removed people from my life that was like this. There the ones who always have their hands out for stuff and when you need them they are no where to be found.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
I think it is best for all parties if that happens. You so you do not have to deal with. And them, because maybe that might make them reevaluate their lives. Doubtful given some of the people that I have to deal with that were like this. Still you just really never know. Still it is just best for everyone involved, as they are not going to change and they may somehow cast you as the bad person in this situation. There are people who are real pieces of work. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
• India
14 Apr 11
Well starting will be a two way street but depends on how long it will stay that way. I think most will break into one way. At first it is really awesome. One can enjoy being good friends with each other for a long time. But as people say time changes everything... Starts with a small problem which is like a snowball. If you forget it and leave it it would only grow more bigger and then by the time you would try to slow it down it would be too late. Friendship is very rare to see two way... Cheers!
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
The snowball effect is a good analogy. It keeps rolling downhill, threatening to destroy everything in its path, unless there is something done. Time sadly is going to make a fool out of many people. Therefore, it is going to really be something where we are going to not be the friends that we thought we were five years ago or ten years ago. Perhaps one party changes due to hanging around different people. Or perhaps you are no longer blind to the truth. Who really knows. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
14 Apr 11
That's why I'm very careful when I use the word "Friend", I may know a lot of nice people who I may have a good time with, co workers, old school mates, etc., but to call them friends just because I've known them for a long time and spend most of the day along with them, that doesn't "automatically" makes them my friends. In my opinion, it's a very personal concept, maybe I have different idea of what to look in a friend, but in the end, friendship IS friendship, whatever that means.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
You're very much right. Friend is a term that is thrown around too loosely. There are friends of course, but there are also people who we might get well long enough with from time to time, people that we can coexist with. Using an example from my school days, there were people who were my friends but they were few and far between. Then there were people that I got around long enough and had some decent interaction with. Of course there were people that I did not. That has not really changed as I bounced from grade school to high school to college and then into the real world. Sadly there are people who are charismatic enough to make you believe that they are your friend, but in reality, they are just another user. There are "friends", friends, and FRIENDS, and the last group are really what should be most associated with the term in our head. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
14 Apr 11
Hi megamatt, What wonderful kind generous thoughtful people we have in our lives, erm well that is what we think. It is amazing how we can always be there for our friends, stand by them and help them out when needed and they always know that we will be here for them if and when they need us, then when we want them not all of them come, this shows us that they are happy to have us there and want us there and we do this because they are our friend and we care, but when we want them and they don't come, then what type of friend does that make them? They are the selfish type, the people who always want the attention when things go wrong, and know that there friends will be there, yet we as their friend expect the same curtosy, but it isn't always given back, this shows us who our true friends are. I too am also sure that we have all experienced something like this in our lives at somepoint. They don't behave the way friends are supposed to, they only seem to care about themselves, never really bothering with others shows how shallow they actually are.
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 Apr 11
There are a time where after a while, we notice people are like this. Yet we wonder if these people always were this way or if it was something that was brought on. Perhaps we should choose our friends more wisely. Sadly this is becoming far more common place in the world than any of us would feel comfortable with. Perhaps I'm just getting just a tiny more jaded with each passing year. Still these people, got to give and take, and its sadly more give than take on the part of most people. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.