i felt my heart crumble the other night

United States
April 15, 2011 8:51am CST
the other night i put my 5yr to bed. then latter on i went to go and cheack on him and he was sleeping so i go over to him and cover him with his blanket. he wakes up and says mommy why am i so stupid i go what did you say? he go mommy why am i so stupid? i go hunny you are not stupid you are the smartest boy i know. who told you you were stupid he goes no one mommy i just feel like i am. i started crying and i told him that i love him so much and that he is not stupid and that he should not think that way and how he is so smart and i am so proud of him. i know that he is behind on his letters in school and we go over them at night but he should not be feeling this way. now i am worried about him starting kindergarten next yr if he is feeling this way now.
3 people like this
16 responses
@debshie (393)
• Philippines
15 Apr 11
That little boy of yours need a boost. I think that it is normal for some kids to feel that way but it is a great responsibility on us parents to show our kids the gem in them. It is good that you are assuring that boy, just keep it up. Aside from telling him, also show him that you trust his capabilities and BELIEVE in him. That is the key, always believe in him because if you don't then who else will. As long as he has a strong foundation at home, then that boy of yours will be fine.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
17 Apr 11
That is sad....that he thinks he is stupid....I hope you find one of his really strong attributes to prove to him that he is smart....remind him that everyone is not good at everything....we all have different things we are good at!
• United States
17 Apr 11
That is a strong boy you have there to say this to you. Alteast you knwo how he is feeling and you can help him. At night when you go over his letters praise him alot and reward him for trying. This encouragement and confidence building is what boost's our children along and makes them better in schools. You should not be worried about kindergarden... He will learn them all there too. some kids go to kindergarden not know much of anything and they do fine.
• United States
16 Apr 11
There are a lot of home schooling programs for kids and toddlers that you might be able to utilize to help him feel a little better about himself. Maybe the boost he needs is a healthy boost of knowledge to make him feel like he knows his stuff.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
16 Apr 11
For me first pray to Jehovah God that he can cure you and said all to him your feeling in prayer.
• India
16 Apr 11
no need to worry i think you parental care will heal his psycological illness in a short span of time itself so go on encouraging ur child in your ay and iam happy about your parental care
@tlb0822 (1414)
• United States
16 Apr 11
So sorry to hear that your son is feeling down. It is so hard when our children don't believe in themselves as much as we do, and they don't understand why they aren't able to do something like a fellow class mate. I think that the best thing is positive reinforcement. I would just try to remind him that he is doing a good job and that everyone learns different things at a different pace. I would also try contacting his teacher and tell the teacher about your childs doubts in his self and that he needs more reinforcement then maybe other students. If you are truly questioning if he is ready then it is better to wait now then have to hold him back later. Best of wishes.
@kathyglim (184)
• Philippines
15 Apr 11
I empathize with you. If that same thing happens to me, I would feel the same thing. I think your child needs a booster. He has a very low moral. Why not praise even the simplest good deed he makes.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
15 Apr 11
When your small and innoecent child throws a question like that at you, it almost makes it too hard to breathe. How will you know where to find the right words to say? You want to be a comfort to your child because you don't want to see them hurting.
@mansha (6301)
• India
15 Apr 11
That's so sad, may be you should go and talk to his teacher, her offhand remark may have caused your child to feel that way. I always thought I was weak in maths and it actually has scarred me for life and only recently I have come to know that so many of my friends in school were failed deliberately by our math teacher and he used to take money to pass them in exams. In fact failing in my exams made me think that way and no one from my family ever approached him for asking the reason my mom used to think I am bad with numbers and i also told myself that I can not add or subtract even simple amount still I studied the subject till higher secondary, failing miserably except in finals where I always managed to get through. A life time of guilt i have carried so make sure to get in to the exact problem by speaking to his teachers, even a smirk from the teachers or peers can mark the child for life
@elaidha (95)
• Philippines
15 Apr 11
Parents should teach their children how to talk positively to their kids like reversing the negative way of thinking into positive way. It is the best way to boost their self-esteem. And I think it's the best gift that we can give to our kids.
@pastigger (618)
• United States
15 Apr 11
There is a video that helped my daughter that helped her learn her alphabet it is the leapfrog Letter Factory. It is great she loved watching it over and over and now she know all her letters by site and the sound that they make. We also play the letter game when we go places and she loves it, basically if I see a letter on a sign or something I ask her what it is. It takes practice but he will get it. I also have several other leap frog toys I really like them and I know that they have helped her lean a lot. The first time I got the video I had actually checked it out from the library and the kids (I have a home daycare) Loved it so much that I bought it so we could always have it. It is one of the few videos that they will all sit down and watch over and over and I am fine with that because it is helping them to learn their letters. I also have flash cards and if they don't know the letter they can tell me what the picture is and then I tell them the letter. I try to make it fun and the video has helped. I did have a four year old about a year back that could say her alphabet but had trouble knowing them by site. So I got index cards wrote the letters on them and used masking take to tape them to the carpet. Yes it looked a little strange but it worked. We would play go stand on letter whatever and in about a week she had it. I hope one of these ideas might help your son. He will get it, but they all learn in their own way and in their own time. Good luck.
• United States
15 Apr 11
Awwh this was sad to hear. Children are so impressionable and I wonder if he understands what the word actually means. I remember my son when he was 5 and he said to me mommy I am bored. I could not fathom how a 5 year old would know what bored really means, so I asked him how so, after his explanation it was clear he did not understand what the word bored really meant. My thinking is he heard the word somewhere and related it simply to be negative, you did right by explaining how you love him so much and how smart he is. Continue boosting his positive sides and let him know how truly special he is, and how much you love him. Continue to convey positivity and the word will be something he never thinks again. Try not to worry too much because it will cause him to think about it further. You are doing it right. Wishing you all the best and blessings with your family.
• Philippines
15 Apr 11
at his young age, why does he feels like that? maybe you should focus on him and try to find out why he was feeling that way... watch uplifting movies for your young son together and explain to him that he is a very special son of God. I know he would understand that... Gud luck...
@tammy27 (1247)
• Philippines
15 Apr 11
my sister is already 6 years old but and all she can't read very well also, and she's still confused about letter B and D. im having a feeling that she is behind others although im not that sure cause im not very up to date with her studies, that's why when my mom told me she's planning to transfer my little sister to another school i totally disagree with her. she studies in one of the best schools here and i graduated elementary at that same school as well. and for me that's really the way of teaching in that school. for nursery, kindergarten and preparatory one they focus on writing, and it's on the first grade where they focus on teaching reading. in your case, i think you can help your son by engaging more time to study in a fun way, not in those plain boring books. play in the middle of your home study times, and dont just focus on those C for CAT but find other cool stuffs that will be more interesting. hope those advices helped.. :)
@speedy1279 (2670)
• United States
15 Apr 11
Oh wow!!! That truly is heart breaking. It is very sad when kids start to feel this way for no apparent reason. Just keep reassuring him that he is a smart little boy and hopefully he will start to understand. I wish you the best and I hope your son realizes soon that he is smart.