Moving in with your special someone.

@LifeGuru (923)
Canada
April 23, 2011 2:50pm CST
Alright peeps, here's where my decisions are out the window... Alright, give me the pros and cons of moving in with your boyfriend. Why should you move in with them? When would be the right time to move in with your special someone and give me a reason... I'm suppose to be moving with him in December, yeah my parents know about it and my mom's alright with it... T_T But moving to me is kinda a bummer with all the packing I gotta do and stuff. _ Don't get me wrong, I'd love to move in with him so we can take good care of each other and he'd help me out and I'd help him... What do you think?
2 people like this
7 responses
• United States
24 Apr 11
PROS: You can see him daily, you'll spend time with him a lot, help each other cook/clean/ see how marriage life would be like if you two got married =) CONS: No space, might annoy each other, you might have habits that you both can't take (ex. he might not put down the toilet seat and that can bug you, you're a clean freak but he's not, small stuff like that can bug each other)
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
24 Apr 11
xD No worries about the toilet seat thing, he's quite a gentleman which is pretty rare in some cases; my brother and my dad does that. T_T We're both... Kinda messy. :P But when we gotta clean, we'd team up like the power rangers and pitch in to do our parts... We're crazy for each other's happiness - anything to please the other half. ^^
• United States
24 Apr 11
that's good =) then i guess so far so good! you won't know til you both move in for the pros/cons then, hehe =D good luck with the moving in process!
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
Your parents are pretty cool if they allow you to do this. I think I may safely presume that your on your late 20s? Me and my girlfriend had long fantasized of moving in together. However we live in a conservative country and the act of moving in without marriage is frowned upon. As the prior discussion enumerated most of the cons of moving in. I will try my best to enumerate the pros that I have seen with other couples that did this. The pros are mostly about finding out more of each other. Right now even if you have been together for a lot of years now, there are a lot of things that you still don't know about him. A guy is really different when at home. Moving in gives you that chance to see him in his comfort zone. You would be able to see how he acts and think about you in a setting less threatening to him than a restaurant or hotel. You would also be able to try how practical your relationship is by trying to love in unison with sharing the housework, paying the bills, and getting the groceries. The pros is more on each other's awareness to the relationship. Sometimes moving in is a make or break move. But it is also a good way to find out if a relationship would work before committing to a more serious form of relationship like marriage. And don't ever act like your a housewife that you have to do all the laundry and cook. This may make the guy too comfortable and you would be always doubting your love. I would suggest that you form a contract with him. Discuss the fine lines of housework, bills, groceries, and even your activities for weekends. Hope it works up for you both.
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
23 Apr 11
Hahaha! Thanks, my fiancee and I are both doing our fare share with house work. So, we've got that covered. xD (see response above) -- I'm the one who wears the pants and his protector. o.o I'm smaller skinner than him but I'm a vicious chihuahua.
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
23 Apr 11
I'm 19 going on 20.
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
24 Apr 11
In your case, when you love the guy and are willing to help him why not. When he helps you back, that would be perfect. Just ask yourself the big question:"Do you love him?" Are you willing to give up your freedom for him and look after him when he needs you? If so, why not?
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
24 Apr 11
T_T If you haven't read the past responses, of course I love him. I'd punch whom ever out if they doubt our love! What freedom do I even have anyways? I'm always held captive in this god forsaken house with a troll, a baboon, a caveman, a witch, several monkeys, and whatever my brother is. T_T Yes, I do love him. He is my fiancee after all. He's a gorgeous man, who's responsible, loving, talented, caring, and knows how to make me smile. What more can I ever ask for? So that's a lame question to ask "DO I LOVE HIM," he loves me so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so times infinity and beyond much, and I do too for him more than I can fathom. ^^ I never knew there'd be his type of guys out there, like in reality not just a dream. I always thought love like what we got was the sort of thing in fairy tales, but till he came around - I'm a believer. I tried to push him away before since I was going through some issues and hoping he would not get involved, but he's a very stubborn friend who wants to help me get through things no matter how tough it gets he's always there for me to shelter me from the pain - to help ease it really. Him and I both need to be looked after especially when he gets sick a lot -- now that being said, him and I both are college students (who lives in separate towns) and we're also best friends although I'm in the higher up in his friendship hierarchy since I'm his future wife and he is willing to spend every waking moment waking up next to me... When he told me that in the first few months when we were dating, I got a little teary eyed because I cannot believe that there is such thing as this person loving me so damn much. He's perfect to me, and he tries his best to cater to me in every way to keep me happy. I try my best to make him happy too by sending him sweet messages like how he did for me when he pours his heart out for me. So I get really upset when people ask me "DO I LOVE HIM?" He's one hell of a boyfriend, and I'm the girlfriend to die for. Yeah, I'm gorgeously sexy hot and I make all the other guys stare and also make some girls swing both ways but my heart's set on one guy who needs me, and that's my Smiley. Why do I call him Smiley? It's just that every time he would be around me he has that unforgettable smile, and he smiles more often than the other guys when they're around me so go figure... Smiley has the smile of gods... xD We're the love of each others' lives! We do suffer from withdrawal whenever one can't really communicate with the other due to circumstances (him living in the country with no internet most of the time; august, and as for myself when my computer got messed up). He's my everything, him and I do sound a little "clingy" to each other but that's the norms because we're both basically insane for each other and are eagerly awaiting December when we reunite. That being said, it would make up for everything that has happened to me in the past with failed attempts at wanting to have a relationship when I got turned down/rejected by my other best friend who is no longer my best friend since I did not look like how I do today. Smiley and I have been dating for over 16 months, sure that doesn't seem like a hell of a long time, but we talk on a daily basis when we could. Texting, msn, phone, which ever whenever when we have the time - every evening and whatnot. My mom approves of him, my cousins very damn well approve! ._. The past people I've "liked" I usually get negative feedback from my mom and cousins with how they looked, but when he came into my life --- KEEEEEEEPER! I did go through a dilemma in the beginning of our relationship, trust me my heart was in the right place but my head wasn't so much and I was also being black mailed by someone but his is what he said to me on that night, [i]"...every day I wake up happy knowing that I am yours...I honestly feel like you deserve better than me, but I'm glad you stay with me...and everyone has dilemas...I'm tough, and I am going to stick by you no matter what you decide...I do care for you a lot and I can see myself waking up beside you every morning for the rest of my life...and thoughts like that do make me happy But if something happens and you do find happiness with someone else, then you'll still have me as a friend."[/i] IF I did not make the decision to go with him, I'd probably be a lot miserable, because the other person I had been chasing after did not treat me as a human, they treated me like I wasn't even their friend at all. If I ever see that jack a** again, I would most definitely try to play nice depending on the situation, then give them what they deserve. I'm very excited for moving in with Smiley, I finish up college in July and I gotta go looking for temporary jobs, and my city and his town can provide that... To actually really feel how your true love's embrace feels it's like a love arrow piercing through a heart of stone through the toughest of flesh, you just feel so lost and in love with someone it's hard to explain everything about it through words, and that's the type of love Smiley and I has. I do have those moments where I would sit there and be in a super super good mood and be in awe then cry my eyes out realizing "Wow! I have a boyfriend?" And how much he means to me and all that stuff keeping in perspective that we'd reunite again one day. For sure, we'd been faithful the whole time with each other since we got this spiritual connection and unbreakable bond. o.O It's weird but sometimes we can literally feel what the other half is feeling emotionally and sometimes psychically. We're soul-bound to each other, and we are strong like that - stubborn. My fiancee is the Prince Charming I never had, I never thought I'd be a princess with the other girls outshining me back in the day, but screw being princess... IM QUEEN! =D Both homosexually and royal wise... I have a tenancy to think I'm a gay guy in a girl's body since I'm flamboyant, but that's the norms with me and Smiley does not mind it at all since he loves me for who I am as a person and I love him as a person as well top that with his unbelievable exterior. I usually wake up in the morning with a smile on my facing being all... o.o I have a boyfriend?! Then I sink back down in my covers being all in love and stuff... He has those moments too he said it's like a good dream that you can't really wake up from that you don't want to wake up since it's far too real. I really want to move out of my parents place so I too can act like a responsible adult. It's a pain when my parents look down on me like a dependent person, but really I do my own things and I need to move out, that's for sure. And he feels sorry for me and the several times my parents left me behind, drove away in the van with me trying to run after it but they speed up, forgetting my birthdays, not caring whether I want to go and hang out with people, and all that sort of stuff. They just don't really give a crap about me till something super serious happens then they'd try to care, which I no longer buy since I have to put up with it for the last 2 decades of my life. So I just don't care after that when I make my own decisions coz it's really up to me on how I should live keeping in mind other factors and consequences. Why haven't I moved out yet? Well, it's because I'm still saving up I got over a grand saved up but I'm saving some more that would last me another few months when I live with smiley since the job market is really competitive where he lives and me having to relocate provinces for work would be an upper in my resume along side with my credentials and certificates. Besides, I need to help his mom with a favor when I meet her to avenge her son... I may be smaller, skinnier, and a bit weaker than Smiley but I got enough craziness to make sure the job is done. I felt really really really bad when I seen him in the emergency room (I asked him to send me pics), and I sure as hell know for sure that someone needs some a** whoopin! =/ His mom and I will be getting along together just fine. ^^ We're crazy people... :D That too is also my soul purpose to staying with Smiley for the next 7 months, then he's moving in with me in my apartment after he graduates. NOBODY! I SWEAR... NOBODY, gets to lay a hand on my Smiley without my permission unless they're a professional practitioner, and his guy friends that I know of without my permission. Or else it's war! o.O As for him? On a toughness scale he's like a puppy trying to fend his owner from a bigger creature - cute but results may vary. So I do my best to keep myself out of trouble for his sake... The way I'm treated at home is like I'm under house arrest without actually knowing I'm under house arrest because of amnesia or something. xD But I'm clearly bad a** when needed to be. I wanna be a vigilante, for the sake of society... Stupid cops here does not accept that but since they're not doing s**t about trying to find the a** hole who hurt my baby... I gotta join forces with the in-laws. xD She seems nice to me, so *shrugs* I don't don't see why I should worry. NOBODY TOUCHES HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE other than me and his guy friends & his parents (of course)!!! Ehh, yeah that's my vent on it... Please read the previous responses before posting. Thanks.
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
24 Apr 11
Living together give full expose to each other cha - Good way to learn about each other faster and directly.
i guess moving into house with bf/gf is a big thing like training to be husband and wife and such, there will be more learning of each other trait and behaviour and learning to share and such and be there to support each other physically, emotional , financailly and such.However sometime being to close cause separation but nevertheless some it ok with it.Living together give full expose to each other character and comptability.
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
24 Apr 11
xD That's what I thought... Like... K one question... Do you call your boyfriend a fiancee or do you still call him "boyfriend?" I should of made it clear in the discussion that he's my fiancee... xD But that's what I thought a traning husband is like. :P Sure he lives in another city for the time being since he's in college, and I am too - I'm just eagerly awaiting when we reunite December when he and I will reunite. He gets to have fun with his best friends and I respect that. I'm letting him have all the fun now since he'll be moving in with me after me living with him after 7 months since he'd be coming back to my city in my own apartment so his diploma would be acknowledged here and there's lots of openings for his field of study in my city. Him and I are always together on a daily basis doing all the I'm living with you thingies although we live in different places... I still yet need to make some friends and strengthen the friendship of the ones I currently are falling apart, so I too would have more friends. I'm pretty much use to his character as for compatibility? It's indescribable you just feel it like some kind of spiritual connection alongside with an unbreakable bond you'd have going on so you know when something is wrong since in a weird way you can feel it - you're soul-mates. I could not be more blessed with having this gorgeous, caring, understanding, loving, responsible, cute, sexy, attractive, sweetheart as my man. I lied to him once before - just a white lie but to me I felt really bad from keeping it from him and he told me it was okay when I confessed to him what the white lie was about. And he does not think I'm weird at all even with those random weird moments that people would give me these looks... O_O D: o.0 T_T But hey, when you love someone... You love them no matter what regardless. And that's what I learned from my years worth of loving him, it's a learning process for us both. xD We did have to put up with each others' "irritable moments" and we try our best to try to calm each other down just so we would not feel bad about not being able to help each other out. I have these moments where I absolutely could not take the stress and I'm literally a wreck so he'd usually sit there and empathize with me and try to do his best to talk me down and to cheer me up some how, I on the other hand I try but become more like a mirror, then try to talk him down and give him some minor suggestions... ^_^;; Other than that I definitely know we'd last beyond forever.
• United States
24 Apr 11
Only you can know what is best for you. I can understand it is not easy to make decisions that will eventually change course of your life.
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
24 Apr 11
True that...
@acey76 (1278)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
Here in the Philippines, we are so conservative regarding moving in without wedlock.Don't get me wrong anyway in my opinion as long as you are both matured and responsible go on with it, YOu have to be careful though when it comes on having a baby, you have to be both responsible, if you are not ready yet to have a baby you have to responsible.
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
24 Apr 11
hAHAH! xD alright. We both know. My parents .. striiiiiiict - nagmumula sa isang filipino bahay, gusto ko alam. Sorry if my tagalog is horrible. I could only understand it not speak... xD We won't have a kid till we're outta debt and exchanged our vows.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
11 May 11
Hi. LifeGuru. I think that moving in with your boyfriend can be so much of fun. He will be able to see how you are when it comes to living with him. You may share some things together. You both are now a team with each other too. If you are ready to move in with your boyfriend, then so do so. Enjoy living with him. You will learn so much about him and he will learn so much about you too.