Wife betrayal!!!!

@spockers (221)
Philippines
April 23, 2011 8:52pm CST
Good day Mylotters!! I want to share something about my friend. He is a Seaman, and work internationally in the last 3 years. He had to leave his family to earn money abroad 3 years ago. And last april he arrived at home. Before he get home, he feel so excited to see her family, his wife and his son. But instead of big welcome for him, he was so shock to know that his wife was 6 months pregnant to other man. What do you feel if you are in his situation?? That you sacrifice a lot for her, but instead she betray you?? My friend was so depressed right now, and the only things that make him hold on is his son.. If you are in his position right now? What the worst thing you can do to your wife???
1 person likes this
17 responses
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
24 Apr 11
This type of behavior is so sad to read about. People's lives get all upset when cheating occurs, and the innocent children always seem to pay a price too. Your friend has every right to feel depressed. I hope he can find forgivness and be happy with his son. I
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
24 Apr 11
OOPS sorry, I posted too soon..I hope he could forgive his wife so he would not remain bitter. I know some people can forgive and forget, but I don't know if that is possible. They are truly strong people.
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
My friend really in his worst time as for now. He is really depressed. Our friends really worried for him so much, because i know for the fact that he really love that girl. But she said to me that he can accept his wife but not the baby. Thats the condition he give to that woman.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
25 Apr 11
Oh I feel so badly for him..I can understand his feelings since the child would be a constant reminder to him...it's such a sad situation.
@ofabiania (421)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
my father is actually a seaman that is why i got struck by your discussion.. it is no joke to be away from your family.. as much as i don't want to judge his wife, but i think even she knows, that what she did is not right.. it is good that your friend is still thinking the welfare of his son.. if i were in his position, i'll get my son talk to my partner and probably get an annulment..
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
For sure, your father also sacrifice alot working abroad. Really not a joke to work abroad, leaving your love ones, its is really a big decision made. Annulment here in the Philippines has a long process. And perhaps sometime, by being practical, it is a waste of time and money.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
my cousin filed for an annulment and it indeed costs a lot..
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
1 May 11
We really aware in that, because i had my uncle filled also for annulment, and really a big waste of money and time
@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
I guess that this story is not new to all of us. A lot of family has been suffering from this situation but still, there are families who have to be separated for financial reason. Your friend can not do nothing to mend the situation, it will be harder for him to accept his wife again. In such cases, he should accept the situation that he can never have a whole family nor a peaceful family again. The best way for him to do is to concentrate on giving a better life/future for his son. The worst thing that he could do to wife is to abandon her which what she truly deserves...
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
But perhaps it is not so familiar that a wife betrayed her husband. Oftentimes husband are the cause of separation of one family, maybe because of 3rd party, but very rare to saw wife betraying her husband. You are right, she deserve to abandon, not deserving for a pity.
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
your friends situation also happened to my brother, but not as a seaman but a nurse. After my brothers months of sadness and depression, luckily he did not go crazy, we filed a case, adultery, we have proof and everything that would put her to jail. but unfortunately the adulterous wife went out of the city and hide somewhere before the warrant of arrest was executed. my brother also filed for annulment, but it would take time because the adulterous wife is nowhere to be found. If i were your friend I would do the same thing, it is written in the Bible, we should not tolerate such immoral, sinful things. i hope this would provide your friend a suggestion.
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
Many women really now is a sinner wife. That's make really hard for a relationship to last. I feel sad also to what happen to your brother. Your is such a strong person. People like my friend and your brother is not deserving to what happened to them. But maybe God has planned for them, and they must over come it, so that it will make them much stronger person than before.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
24 Apr 11
I am so sorry to hear that. I do not think his wife had any respect for what he did for his family. He sacrificed alot and she should have to sacrifice something as well for her sins and betrayal. I am not sure what I would do to her. I would be very angry and hurt so no telling.
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
It should hurt really so much, you've sacrifice so much in your work for them and you will get in return that kind of betrayal. So annoying to meet such kind of women.
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
Oh my! If I am the guy, I would definitely leave at once and get the kid.. He has the rights for the kids since he has a job... I really hate this kind of people! Why they can't focus their faith to the ones who love them.. This kind people makes me angry!
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
Me too... I really hate this kind of people. They are not deserving to have what they have now. That kind of women deserved not to be love.
@maximax8 (27953)
• United Kingdom
24 Apr 11
Your seaman friend had wonderful time working internationally. He was in other parts of the world and he trusted his wife. I guess that he missed his wife and son. It must have been such a shock to come home and find his wife six months pregnant. His wife was unfaithful to him and had a relationship with another man. If I was in his position I would ask her to tell me the details of the baby's father. Either I would divorce or bring the baby up as mine in a happy family. Then I would be too scared to go back to my seaman days. Good luck to your seaman friend.
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
Really it is shocking to have a wife welcoming you that are 6 months pregnant and you are not in home for almost 3 years. Maybe, if that happen to me, a would have a doubt of leaving home again, a phobia of leaving my family to work abroad. I really hate seeing my friend in that situation, What can we really do is to support him of what decision he will make.
@madteaparty (2763)
• Japan
24 Apr 11
Well, I think that thinking about "what is the worst thing you can do to your wife" is a little going over the top. She made a mistake that shouldn't be forgiven, but that doesn't mean having to take a big revenge. In my case I would probably ask for divorce if I was in that man's situation, as he has been betrayed when he was working so hard.
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
It is really hard to believe that women are capable of doing something like that. People really change over the years, even woman that are known, specially the Filipino women are very familiar and known to be so sensitive.
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
24 Apr 11
it is hard for this kind of relationship. I see a lot happen like that... Husband goes over board to work, and his wife stay home with children. Most of this kind of relationship take a lot of support on both sides in order to keep it in the long run. I am very sorry for them, but he has to do what he has to do now... and i know he is in depression ... however, he has to stand up for his son and move on. Another thing, if in the future if he remarried again then he should find any job that close by his wife... he can't just keep leaving her like that... Hope everything is fine with him and hope he could stand up once again
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
I hope also.. That's really the best solution if he will decide to stay with that relationship, he must find a job that is near because sad to say that wife of him are not good in handling distance relationship. It is really hard to leave your family, specially if your are confident that they can hold on. That's what really hard for our OFW's abroad.
• Mexico
24 Apr 11
usually that happedns when a couple is living far away from each other, i dont know what a heck is thinking people when they get married and after that go working abroad, its not logical action, this girl cannot be forgiven i mean nobody who cheats can be good at all, i im against all kind of liars and your friend cannot be with this girl anymore she fail to him and m ost pay for her mistake, in my own opinion, he can get his son and divorce his wife,
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
That maybe the best things he can do. And somehow every person has different things in mind. I know my friends we will not sacrifice the feelings of his son, he love his son, and he can even sacrifice his ego so that he can't hurt his only son.
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
hello, Oh? I am really feel sorry for your friend? he really dont deserved it, he is having a hard time to work abroad just to earn enough money for his family but what he found out is so bad. It really kill his heart. I am this man I wont let them do this to me. I will live my life alone (I am not selfish) because my wife betrayed me, I will look for other women that is worth my hard work. I will not gonna kill my wife, all I do is to live her with her other man.
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
We had different view in life, it is so easy as you said, because their is child involve, (2 child). And friend really must think for the good of his son. To make it fair for him.
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
hello spockers, It is sad to know this but it already happened blaming wife or husband can't take back everything Your friend can take legal action and for sure he will win obviously because the wife is pregnant he can use it as evidence, but if your friend really loves this girl and can swallow his ego accept the baby try to forget what happened (which is not easy to do). Even your friend will kill his wife or hurt her it will be useless damaged has already done only two choices sue her or accept her again along with the baby. have great sunday!
@spockers (221)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
Damage done already, and we can't do much about it. I big decision really must be the solution for that one. And I must confident that my friend will get through it. I know him will, for sure, even if he really care for that women, he will be fine soon..That what a strong person can do.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
19 May 11
Hi. spockers. Welcome to myLot! I am not a man, but I would like to comment on this discussion though. I am sure that his wife's betrayal hurt the husband so much. With her husband being gone for three years, she must have started to become very lonely. This resulted into her having an affair and then becoming pregnant down the line. I wonder how long was she having an affair with this other man? I mean, her husband was gone abroad to work internationally for three years. Either way, this is very sad and the wife was wrong to cheat on her husband with another man while he was gone. If he or she did not indicate that they wanted to end their marriage while he was working internationally, then the wife should have never cheated on her husband. She should have remained true and loyal to him. If he has remained loyal to her though, then this is even sadder.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
4 May 11
hi, if i am in that situation of course too much pain for me because all my life working abroad dedicated to my family and it will ruin by this wife,maybe i will choose to die than to feel the pain inside,but still maybe your friend is a strong enough and that strength come from his son.the only he need to do is get his son and leave his wife.
@thotalot (18)
• United States
4 May 11
I feel for your friend who was betrayed and hurt by his wife. The worst thing he can do his wife is to divorce her, and then be the best man and father he can be. He can teach her that she cannot treat him and love with such disregard and disrespect, and he should not give her any of his love any longer. That being said, as hard as it is, he should still be kind and ammicable in the interest of their son. This is the worst thing he can do to her because she will have a constant reminder of what a great man she lost from not valuing him enough to remain loyal. She will forever regret her betrayal. And hopefully, she will get to see what a wonderful husband he makes to another woman deserving of his love.
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
25 Apr 11
I think it is the worst thing for a man. Almost any man can't stand such a thing and it is a big blow. But i think it is in such a situation, men should keep a cold head and not do something can't take back. First, cool down and think what is wrong with you and your wife. You think you have sacrifice for her, but you know, men and women are different in thinking, have you done things with the wrong ways, i mean has your wife feel you not care about her enough? Or she is just that kind of women? Secondly, the most important thing is to make sure your son will not be hurt even in a slight degree. Actually, kids are very sensitive and since in the past three years, he can't enjoy the love of his father, now his father comes back, don't let him lose love of a complete family. Try to have good talk with your wife, and make sure the cause and then decide what to do.
@whengcat (1458)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
This is sad and definitely wrong. When my husband left for abroad few years ago, I remained faithful. I focused on my work and my kids and communicate with him more often. Maybe this wife is weak, weak to fight temptations. I feel sorry for your friend. Maybe the least he could do is file for a separation and get the custody of his son. Its easier said than done but if he continue living with her, it will only bring more problems in the future.