Marriage

United States
May 10, 2011 12:07pm CST
I have never been married, I have two kids, but one day I do want to get married. Do you think that people who do get married should stay together for as long as they live or at least try to make things work so they can. Some people like my sister they just give up and dont try anything at all and just leave there husband and get divorced. I think she should have tryed, but she was 18 when she got married and she is now 21. Maybe she got married way to young but still I think people who get married should at least try to work things out. My sister and the man she married were two very differnt people and my family never really did like the guy but I still think when you get married you should talk things out not just run away. Unless of course there is abuse then I say run as fast as you can to get away from that. My kids father used to abuse me and I took that for 5 years.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@dream_ozn (1758)
• Singapore
10 May 11
Could i ask why you did not get married with your kids father? Definitely, the purpose of a marriage is to make a commitment towards each other and hope to stay together as long as possible. I think your sister should indeed have tried to make things work between the both of them. we have to remember that when both parties wanted to get married, there was so much love between them. Just remembering how much both of them love each other gives both parties some point to reflect on. Perhaps one reason why your sister did not bother was because she was really too young when she got married and can't really be bothered now. Did you try to explain things to her? She needs to understand that this is the choice she made and need to accept it. I think marriage is a lifetime thing and divorce should be the last considered alternative once both are married. I am currently 21 too. At 16, i got together with my current boyfriend and up till now, my parents still hate him and he is not allowed to even see them. Even though your parents dislike him, they allowed your sister to bring him home. Could i also ask why did your sister decide to marry this man at 18?
• United States
10 May 11
My kids father asked me to marry him I said yes but he always wanted someone else and now he is engaged to some one else and says he wants its funny. I would never let him back into my life. I have no idea why she married him I guess she loved him at the time.
@dream_ozn (1758)
• Singapore
11 May 11
He always wanted to marry someone else why still ask for your hand? He wants it funny? What does that mean? I support you, you should not let some guy who treats you like that back into your life.
• United States
11 May 11
What I ment to say was now that he is with someone else he says he wants me and I think that is funny.
• United States
10 May 11
I would not marry unless I knew for sure 100 percent that it would last for ever its okay not to married and have children and yes in a relationship you should be able to talk freely with out being scared and i do believe if you are in abusive relationship there is no talking get out fast.
@dream_ozn (1758)
• Singapore
11 May 11
I hope I can get married when i can be 100% sure it would last forever. However, how can we know that things will last forever? In the past, marriage means a lifetime. But now, no longer when divorce are getting more prevalent.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
11 May 11
When we get married we should see to it that our relationship must stay forever whatever happen. I am married for 11 years now. My wife stay away from me before but I still doing my best get back to me... She have an affairs to someone but I still work for better. Now, my wife is with me and talk about bad things that was happen before... Relationship must give and take. There must be physical and emotional abused. Love must always be in a relationship...
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
11 May 11
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Though still most people respect that and consider it's the key for marriage to work and last, be blessed with its matrimony. Nowadays, people always consider the live-in stage, and they called it testing time. Time to find out if being together will end up into knowing each other for good, but if it turns out the reverse, then there's no much agony in separating ways. You're right, getting married at an early age usually caused the relationship not to last for they usually take it for granted brought about of immaturity. Another factor also is the relationship with the the extended families. Some says, it is a normal trend that in-laws usually interfere in the relationship and that attitude always seems have a negative effects in a couple's relationship. So perhaps, before getting married, someone should set his/her minds in whatever will be ahead of their way, and always prepared to have time to consider things, analyze to avoid abrupt decision that will ruin the relationship. It is also better to know each other better and avoid trial and error in a relationship. Hope you could come up to the best decision of your getting married. Good luck and happy mylotting.
@joecarlz (10)
• Philippines
11 May 11
For me, Marriage is a big decision to yourself. It's not about you should stay together or for your children. It's about what is your feeling to your husband/wife, If you don't love him/her anymore then you should give up that relationship, For me marriage is for people who love each other, It doesn't matter who he/she is as long as you love that person...
@SIMPLYD (78701)
• Philippines
11 May 11
Marriage is something that binds a husband and wife because they promised that in front of the priest or the judge during their wedding. Hence, they both have the responsibility to make their marriage work. If one sees it to be deteriorating, then they should talk on how to repair it. However, when it is beyond repair and when love is really gone, then they should peacefully agree to separate.
@maximax8 (27954)
• United Kingdom
11 May 11
In my home country it is acceptable for a couple to live together and not ever get married. It is also fine to be a single mother: she might not have got married or be divorced. I think that a happily married couple should stay together for life. However it there are problems in the marriage I think they need to try hard to get on well. If this doesn't work out they should split up and get divorced. Though sadly children suffer greatly in the two years after their parents get divorced. I don't think that a couple should marry too young. It is best to marry in the early to mid twenties rather than the teenage years. Though some teenage couples get on very well and stay together for life. I think in the case of abuse the lady should say they will split up and if married get divorced. My marriage lasted six years and then I got divorced. I had two more children in a relationship. I didn't want to marry a second time.
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
11 May 11
I have read your story. I agree with you. You are from United States of America. It is a developed country. Where as coming to India, here the situation is entirely opposite. If a women got pregnancy without marriage, the entire society will see her as a bad person. And no one will give employment to her, no one will ready to give shelter to her. Her life will through into darkness only. Personally i don't like this, but i am single, how can i change without any power in the society.
• United States
11 May 11
I feel you should definitely try to work things out. You got married for a reason. You loved each other enough to promise your life to the other. But both parties have to want to try to work on the marriage. Most times what happens is that whatever the problem is it has gotten too big and ugly. Things need to be addressed as they come up so it won't get to the point where the marriage falls apart. Communication and honesty are very important in any relationship but especially if you are married!
• China
11 May 11
Yes,if you have decided to get married,then both of the couple must manage to cherish the love and the family,or getting married is meaningless.
@orang13 (723)
• Philippines
10 May 11
That would be very sad to know your story! But I am proud of your courage you tried hard for 5 years! Yeah'ryt! Your sister atleast should tried it. For me, as a christian believer -- marriage is sacred and it should remain till forever. It is even said that even if you had it divorced, the sacredness of it still remain.. And the lesson to this, you must think twice first before engaging yourself to a lifelong commitment.
• United States
10 May 11
The entire point of marriage is making a life long commitment to someone. To feel it is just something to do demeans all of us who work hard to keep a happy marriage. Now of coarse there are reasons to get divorced, beatings, cheating or other abuses. No one should give up on their relationship though for reasons like "we grew apart" please marriage is working together if you grow apart it means you need to work on it better.