I don't want to make you mad but...
By megamatt
@megamatt (14292)
United States
May 13, 2011 9:37am CST
Am I the only one who feels impending doom when I hear that charming little statement? I wish the person would just be straight up and say what they want to say. Its almost like they are criticizing me but they fear my reaction. So they try to half pacify me, while trying to pacify themselves by getting something out there. I mean, if you think its going to offend me, its best not said or maybe you should say it, if you think its important, without trying to sugar coat it. Then again, I've given up trying not to offend people anyway in real life, because it seems like they're going to be anyway sometimes. So why hold back if something needs to be said?
2 people like this
8 responses
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
13 May 11
I have been around people who just blithely spur out whatever comes in their heads and through their mouths; I don't like those people and have alway thought of them as being rude with no consideration for other peoples feelings. I think, if someone has something to say to another person that might hurt them or be offensive, they should try to find a kind way to get their point across. There is more than one way to get a point across. One should never afraid to speak what they feel, but not be offensive.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
15 May 11
Perhaps the old adage applies here; "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." We all just need to treat each other with respect and the would cover a multitude of problems.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
15 May 11
Perhaps, but there are ways to say it in a diplomatic way, without sugar coating it .And besides, if they say they don't want to make me mad and then say something that is very likely to make me mad, then that does sound a lot of a mixed message. I just prefer that little phrase would really be removed. It would make me less mad. Perhaps others would disagree. Or maybe they should not say anything, if they feel like they should cushion the blow. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@joyjhycko31 (26)
• Philippines
14 May 11
Filipinos are like this, they can't tell what they want to tell straight because they don't want to hurt the person they are talking, so sometimes they just tell it slowly.. not like the other countries, that they tell you frankly whats on there mind even knowing you're hurt or not..
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
15 May 11
It is for the best if we are completely honest with each other, without preamble. The sooner we get told, the sooner we can get to dealing with the situation. Not only that, but with dealing with the situation without any problems whatsoever. Honesty might hurt, but it often is going to cause few less problems to say the very least. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 May 11
My mother-in-law does that all the time. Why assume a person is going to get mad? It's insulting!!!
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
15 May 11
I really do think people are trying to cover themselves. Just spit it out completely or do not say a word at all if you feel like it would make me mad. Really that little phrase means that I am mentally geared automatically to getting mad. It is one of those strange little odd things about life that just set off something in my mind. I am sure that I am not really alone in this fact. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
13 May 11
Hi. megamatt. I really do understand what you are saying here. I have felt this way about my sister-in-law. She have in the past said something to me and she sugar coated her response to me and I did not like that at all. If she has something to say, I would rather her to say it and not beat around the bush. Besides, I already know what she is trying to say anyway. Some people do this because they don't want to make a person angry by offending them. Well, too late! They have already offended them just by opening up their mouths about what they truly feel.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
15 May 11
Might as well go all of the way if you're going to even open my mouth. I mean, if I ever feel the need to say something critical, I don't want to go by things halfway. Rather, I really do want to go all of the way and be one hundred percent behind being what I am saying. Trying to qualify what I am saying, trying to soften the blow, for some reason, that just feels rather dishonest. Then again, perhaps I am strange like that, but perhaps its more common then one things. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
13 May 11
Telling someone something they need to hear but don't want to hear is always a risk. I've always been the type of person who will come right out with it. If I'm asked what I think about something, then I'm going to say honestly what I think without trying to sugar coat. This does not always win friends and influence people for the better, but, hey, you asked.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
14 May 11
Yeah its just better off to come right out and say it one hundred percent straight. Whatever happens, happens. If the person gets offended for a short time or over a long period, then that's something they are going to have to deal with. Now granted, there are times where you're going to have to pick your words wisely, but I try and be honest about nine and a half times out of ten when I can. I think it will pan out a lot better now, then later. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@casualkT (140)
• Canada
14 May 11
These are really confusing people , saying something straight usually clears things easily , but what I discover is that is sometimes rather difficult to say the things after you been lying so much, they think you're lying again. I've have damaged quite a few people with my direct talking but I'm guilty as well , if only there is a way to not sound so retorting or hostile and get their mind thinking, not heart. Because if you lie and they find out it is a double dose of problems and it complicates my business....
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
15 May 11
Very, true, it cuts down the time that we have to deal with this sorrid business, if you tell the truth straight out. It might lead to a bit of awkwardness, but it really comes out rather fine after a time. Otherwise, if you are less than straight up and honest, if something comes up, there are going to be far more lasting and cause far more problems, not to mention being dragged out far longer than ever before. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
13 May 11
I hear you with this one. Usually I am the type of person that says, I need to talk about something and although I know it is going to make you mad, I feel that because I value our friendship, you need to know.
This in cases where something has to be said of course. But if something is not my business and or I feel I would be overstepping then I simply won't say anything at all.
So if it is that important I will add the value of friendship so they know that I am actually looking out for them. If they get upset over my informing, I will walk away with a clear conscious.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
13 May 11
Indeed, if they are going to get upset, they are going to get upset. If the friendship was really strong enough, then it should be able to be worked out after some time to think about it. There are times where everything needs to get out in the open. So be completely open, not in a half hearted manner, that will cause people to wonder about the validity of what you say. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
@BalthasarTheRat (656)
• United States
13 May 11
Sometimes I think I should say it more often. It gets your intentions out in the open right away. You may have something weird, annoying and just mean to say, but gosh darn it you didn't mean it to be mean, so to speak. It's more of a warning than a sugar coating: "you're not gonna like this and I'm not saying it just to get on your bad side". The opposite would be to preface our hateful statements toward enemies with a little "What I'm about to say is in order to tick you off and I hope you dislike me even more when I'm done".
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
13 May 11
I guess I'm just strange, that if you're going to offend me, I want to be offended all the way. In a strange way, if you try not to offend me, it might offend me slightly more, if you went out of your way not to offend me. Well that made better sense in my head. Still, regardless, its just something about the phrase that digs at me, although I can see why people would say it. Thanks for responding. Its appreciated. Have a nice day.
