What do you do when you are down?

@luz823 (133)
May 14, 2011 2:53pm CST
Lately, I've been depressed as I recently lose my husband last January because of a liver disease. My children are taking care of me and they are always making sure that I'm ok. They take me to out of town/country trips for me so that my mind would wander off the sadness that I'm feeling. But whenever I am alone here in our house and they are away in their own work, whenever I remember my husband, I always cry and get sad. I always think of him and misses him so much. What I do is just to eat it off or just make myself busy so that I wouldn't think much of the sadness I am feeling. How about you? What do you do when you are down and sad? Maybe you could share and I could try to alleviate what I am feeling right now.
2 people like this
15 responses
• United States
14 May 11
I have my moments where I really just want to be left alone. Although I have realized that way too much alone time is not at all healthy and good for me, so I do try to get out a bit so that I do not continue to dwell on memories and issues. I think it would be a bit healthier for you to get out a bit, laugh and giggle with a few friends. I do understand that it is quite hard to move on in life with the passing of your husband, but surely he would want you to be happy. Venturing out a bit, especially because you are still quite young does not mean you will forget him and in fact discussing some fun moments about him with others will bring on some great laughter and happy tears but he will continue to live on in your heart. This is what I suggest is you try as hard as you can, remembering that he would want you to be happy. Keep telling yourself that if he sees you happy he will forever be happy too. It will definitely take some time and by all means take as long as you need but do try, even if it is some walks alone outdoors so that you keep your mind pre-occupied. Be well and I will be praying for you!
@luz823 (133)
15 May 11
Hi hardworkinggurl. Thanks for your suggestion. I also do believe that he really wants me to be happy. I know I should be telling it to myself often. But sometimes, thinking that you are all alone right now makes the situation worst. I often get jealous when I see two old couples holding hands together and thinking that it would come a time that i'll just grow old alone without anyone to get hold of my hands and took care of me. It's hard to really explain what I'm feeling right now. But you are right, I should be telling myself more often than not that he will be happier up above if he sees me smiling and laughing like I used to. I'll try to take a mental note on that one. I will also try to talk walks but sometimes taking walks alone makes me feel depressed even more.
@vastari (331)
• Ireland
14 May 11
first of all, let me say I'm sorry for your loss. Losing someone is never easy. Whenever I'm feeling down I always tend to go for a walk, usually just to the next village or so. A bit of sunshine and fresh air can do wonders in lifting your spirit, and it usually works for me. I walk for about an hour to the next town, by myself some water, maybe sit down and have a drink and a sandwich before walking home. I don't know if this would help you, since I live in a fairly rural area, and if you live in the middle of the city it might not work for you. You could try what I do when the weather is awful and I can't go outside. I sit down at my desk and either draw or write something. Just to keep myself occupied. I'll never use my computer, since I find it more therapeutic to write on paper with a pen or a pencil. There's never any definitive topic I write about, and usually I scarp it straight afterwards, but I find it to be very distracting and therapeutic. I hope one of these works for you.
@luz823 (133)
15 May 11
Thank you for your sincere condolences. I could try to go for a walk here in the neighborhood sometime. The next town could be far away so I'll try to just walk around our neighborhood and let the time flies. I could also try your suggestion of drawing and sketching. I haven't draw for quite some try. Maybe I could buy some pencils and coloring tools so that I could start up with writing on a paper again. Lately, I'm just on my laptop trying new stuff so writing in a paper is really new for me and I hope it's therapeutic for me too. Thanks for your suggestions and I'll try all of that.
• United States
14 May 11
I am not better than you being I will sit in a corner and cry my eyes out. I have learned not to eat my stress anymore so that is great. Your kids are doing great. Is there a slight chance you can move to another place where you can make new memories?
@luz823 (133)
15 May 11
I try my best to hide my tears in front of my children. It's kinda embarrassing for me to see me cry and feel helpless in this kind of situation. I need to be strong for them. It's hard for me not to eat my stress out, I need my mouth to be busy. Haha. It's just makes me feel relax. I really feel great about my children that they really understand what I am going through and they try their best to adjust. I wish I could move but that's not an option right now. Got a lot of bills to pay and our house in on mortgage so I still need to pay for me. My daughter in Canada said she'd be petitioning me to go there. I just have to wait for a year or two maybe.
• United States
15 May 11
Well, at most cases the best way to get yourself up is to be distracted, keep yourself busy with things that will make you laugh. If you get sad when you're by yourself than invite a friend over that you know will make you laugh the minute he or she walks into the door. Laughing is good for the soul. If I can't myself happy by myself than I always depend on the good nature of my friends to paint a smile on my face.
• Philippines
15 May 11
My condolence.. What I do when I'm sad is that I divert my attention to some other thing. Like maybe sports? Or maybe some baking, and other possible distractions that can help me out. It's difficult to get depression out of my mind, but so far sports helps me get out of it.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
15 May 11
For me just read in the bible john5:27-28 it can help you and always prayed to Jehovah God that he can heal your heart in pain now.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
15 May 11
Hi luz, Sorry to learn your sad episode. Now what has been done can not be undone. We miss our loved ones forever and we are left to lament. All have the same route to go and the difference is some go early , some late. Nice that you have so much caring children. If you are sad stricken as a wife are not they too as his children? Have not they too lost their papa? Just have some control over your emotion and go wherever your children take you to and after sometime you would find the old you once again fluttering in the air. All the Best.
@masang (295)
• Philippines
15 May 11
I pray and pray a lot inside the chapel. For me my only refuge in times of trouble is Jesus. I also compose songs whenever I am down. I can easily compose if I'm in my greatest emotion. These helped me a lot because I won three song writing competitions local and national because of my problems. It's a blessing in disguise actually.
• India
15 May 11
I feel very sorry to hear that you lose your husband. It also shows how much love & husband you have with your husband. Yes i can understand that you are feeling depressed now. I would like to suggest you one thing. Please read many books, don't be alone. Because loneliness kills our heart. Glad to know that you makes your schedule busy when you feel much sadness. You came to a nice place.. ( Mylot ) Many people here with carrying heart. Feel free to share the things which you would like to. Give responses to many discussions which was posted by others. Help the people by giving answers to their questions who really needs. Do everything best. God will do the rest. One more thing.. Time & Patience will change everything. Don't think that your husband is no more. He is with you & living in your heart. Stay united with him :)
• Philippines
15 May 11
There times in our life when we are in our saddest moments. Times when we are in raging emotions, especially when somebody is taken away from us. But this is just a natural part of the processes of human experience. All of us will go through in this process. Human as we are, during this times, what you can do is simply to accept the fact, the reality. Hard but true. If you can have somebody to lean on, then go stick on that person, because we are social being, we really need somebody to comfort us, and to share our problems and doubts. Most importantly, don't forget to look up at the sky, GOD is there always, smiling at you.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
15 May 11
I'm so sorry for your loss. When I'm feeling down I usually write my feelings down on paper or I write poetry. I will also clean my house and listen to upbeat music to get me out of the depression. The other things I do to keep myself up is gardening, watching movies that are comedies and playing games on the computer. Hope this helps you in someway. God Bless!
@oninomar (506)
• Philippines
15 May 11
Hi, i am so sad for what happened to your husband... Life is full of struggles, we must be strong enough in dealing in may situation... We must not lose hope, life is beautiful enough to live.. Don't worry luz, you will get recover soon, it really takes time, just cry if you want, just shout if you want..if that can release the pain inside, you shall do it... Each of us have different ways to manage that kind of feelings... Some are enjoying there life to forget it, some take a vacation, some are spending much time to their remaining family members and some want to be all.. Above all, we must seek for guidance in God, we ask for Him that we can manage and handle the trials we encounter, ask for him to help us....
@jugsjugs (13045)
15 May 11
I am sorry for your loss.My dad passed away a few years ago and i miss him like crazy, as we were always talking on the phone, as well as he was always popping over to see me and the rest of my family.We even had him stay for a while.What i do is i tend to keep busy on here as well as on other sites, as i am unable to do much or get out that often only to drs and hospital appointments.If you had or have a hobby, then start doing that, think of all the good times that you had together, also tell yourself that he would not want you to be sad and upset.It is hard when it comes to their birthday and other dates that were important, but try to keep occupied.People say time heals and it gets easier, well i do hope so.
• Canada
14 May 11
It must be so hard to lose your husband. I can't imagine what you are going through. Other then being busy and engaging into your family I would suggest connecting to a passion that you have or always wanted to try; like painting or writing and maybe refinishing old furniture or one that relaxes me is knitting! Are you a christian? I also find comfort in the bible. Psalm 30:5 Weeping may last through the night,but joy comes with the morning.
@CarlHalling (3629)
• United Kingdom
14 May 11
I'm so sorry to read about your husband. That is a such a sad story. Your depression under the circumstances is 100% natural. In time those that mourn do heal, although it may be slow. I can't possibly know what you're going through, but when I am depressed, I do several things, according to the type of depression. If it's long-lasting, as a Christian, I will pray and try to obtain God's healing. If it's short-lived, I'll work hard, if I can: I'll try and "work" or "create" myself out of my depression. I hope very much you can find some consolation in the time ahead. God bless.