Should I take the risk?

May 16, 2011 9:31am CST
For the past few weeks,I was doing great. I never heard anything from my ex. I was able to finally cope with my life and tend to forget the bad things that had happened between us. I was able to suppress the pain and eventually my friends gave me a reality orientation which helped a lot. I was ready to move on. Then recently, my ex started communicating with me because he had a problem and had no one else to ask for help. So, I extended my help by listening to his problems, giving him some words of encouragement. And now, we considered ourselves as close friends( duh! we know each other more). We keep on texting, chatting and etc., just like old times. I know deep inside that I still love him but that won't change the fact that we broke up for a reason. I'm afraid that this "closeness" will eventually bring back the "past". Should I take the risk and all my efforts to move on will be put into waste? or should I just tell him that being friends is not a good idea for us right now? I don't know what to do..please help me.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
I think you need to tell him that your friendship right now is not a good idea and you also tell him your reason that you still need more time to move on and forget your feeling for him. Being honest to him that you still love him is not bad so don't be shy to tell to him the truth. It's really hard to move on in a past relationship so you really need to be apart from your ex partner for you to totally forget him.
• Philippines
20 May 11
There was nothing wrong to extend a helping hand to someone who is in need. However, being friends with your ex after you just broke up is something I personally do not believe is a good thing. you can be friends with him after maybe a year or two. But being friends just right after you broke up is really not a good idea. The main essence of breaking up is to be apart from each other and by being friend defies this essence. You still chat, text and talk which you do if you guys are in a relationship. Then you guys become friend, and you still chat, text an talk. So there is really no difference at all. I suggest to tell him that you cannot be friends right now. Eventually maybe, but I don't think you are ready right now
• Chile
17 May 11
If you still love her then you can be with her, but if u think you are going to suffer again then stay away if u dont want to suffer anymore.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
17 May 11
Hi. alex_rae. Welcome to myLot! I think that you should not take the risk into becoming closer to your ex. I think that you should move on with your life. If you two broke up it was for a real reason. Is he in a relationship right now? What about you? I know how you are feeling because I have felt the same way too. I had to let my ex go because I was tired of him hurting me and then wanting to get back with me, like he never did anything to hurt me. I think that you should just move on and not get involved with him at all.
@censae (72)
• United States
17 May 11
The great cover-up is effective for a while. That is not bringing resolution to the situation. Supressing feelings is not healing. Love is blind but you can not be. You are or should be able to control your own emotions. Facts are facts and feelings are feelings. Work to know the difference and learn how each can serve you. Do not create a world where you are laboring in fear and doubt about your own strength and direction. Accept his role in this mess as well as your own. Forgive him his tresspasses. Forgive yourself. Do not stir in the in the ashes. What is done is done. You have given to him all that you have to give. Now give to yourself and others who can respect and appreciate you. Let him find his help elsewhere. Then you are ready to truly move on.