Are we obliged to support our relatives?

Hi there Toni! This is a good topic you made here, you just made me bonkers as this really happens. We are not obliged to support our relatives. We can only help them if we have extra extra. I see the same with our relatives. My mom would help them but they in turn, repay us by cooking for us and cleaning our house as this is the most that they could do. They couldnt pay us financially because they are in debt. As for your brother, i couldnt really say if it had been wrong to refuse help to them and in some way or another, he has burned bridges for possible good karma in the future. On the other hand though, your brother was right to refuse help because hellooo... all his kids are adults now, they should be able to come up with enough fund for their father's hospitalization! But really.. in some way... i do pity them... I am just glad that i dont have relatives like that who prefer to beg than to be really independent. It is nice to help those who can find, in some other way, repay you for what you have done. At least six times a year, our relatives would visit us and give us what they have reaped from their farm. And as for those people who ask often... What do they take you for? A money-bearing tree?!

Personally in a situation such as this, I would say that the only way a person should really feel obliged to help someone is if they are Financially able too. Personally even if a person is family they should not feel inclined like they have to help someone or else. So what if people get mad. Taking care of your own family and personal needs there should come first, and then if you have extras help others.

I don't think that it is our obligation to support or help each other. It's not something that we have to do. I'm not saying that you can't help out people you're close with once in a while, just from time to time, but I don't think that it's all the time and you shouldn't do it because you have to do it. You should do it when you want to help and it should be with the people that you're really close with.

Hello Toniganzon, THEY STARTED IT, HELLO! thinking NOTHING more than for themselves. I am very sure that they will careless again once they got what they want. just so happy that my mom had us moved away from the province to avoid opportunist relatives. i mean, my mom's side of relatives have been supporting them since like forever from states. unfortunately, our aunties realize the truth and decided not to send money anymore. maybe you guys should move away from area where your relatives are near. i think it's best to avoid them now because they are too opportunistic. i agree, you're uncle has seven children, but if they don't have work all of them, WOW. I know, it's kinda selfish to say, but it's better for the children to learn and do something rather than being dependent on them again. they're completely immature. of course, he can also be wrong in the end though.

Our relatives are our family and our bond and our heritage. We should take pride in our obligation to always be supportive of them when we can. this doesn't mean that we need to take care of them financially. support can come from our means and generosity has to begin with the heart.

On reading I am convinced what your brother has done is right. However on such occasions instead of saying NO tactfully one can give small amount stating that much only can be spared. Do not worry about the curses made by such people. they bear no weightage. Nothing will happen.

Actually, it is not nuts obligation to support them. We just do because we are family, and it is part perhaps of our culture to always support friends more so our relatives. It is just natural that we want to help people. And that also applies to other people. It is actually inappropriate for relatives to always ask and depend on their blessed relatives. They should also work hard and be able to help others.

Even though it might be the thing to do in your culture I think it is supposed to work if everyone, each family member, does his best. Each separate family is responsible for their own. The younger family/ies, can be responsible to the grandparents if need be. They can still be helpful towards other family but not under the circumstances you describe. Actually it's very difficult because all circumstances are different and it is a deeply personal family issue sometimes. It's hard to give answers without knowing all the details and the personalities involved.

Hi! I think answer to your question could be yes or no both, depending upon the situation. When someone really need our (financial) help and there is likelihood of s/he returning the money in future, then we could help. Also our family comes first, if we do not have extra funds and we can just look after our family, then it gets difficult to provide help to others.

I told my children to put me in a facility if I cannot take care of myself. Because I feel it would be a burden, they have their own family. As for money I feel lending can destroy a family. If there is an emergency I would give them the money, without expecting it back.

hi, for me,being a child of my parents i will obligate my self to support them,just my parents and siblings,and about my relatives i dont know if i will help or support them because they are really bad to my father,and i hate them.

Not really, they are already adults ready to support their self by now if they only want to. The problem with some of our relatives is they depend on us so much. It is okay to help if you really have lot of money to give but if not and has only enough for the family, they should also understand that we also have our own expenses to think. Life is hard now a days and we need to help one another by also trying to help our own self.

No, your brother did the right thing, your family struggled enough after your parents die, they should be ashamed of themselves, asking for help knowing that you don't have parents anymore. But, you can still help them but not financially because you still have a family to take care...you can help by asking help to others. God knows everything they did to you.. so don't be afraid of the curse thing... Just pray for you uncle's recovery..

My parents are responsible persons. My father grew up in a big family. There were eight children in his family. They supported each other and used to help their mother although they had built their own lives. My parents went to live to the capital city, but after ten years they decided to return back to their native town to help my grandparents. They sacrificed their career to render assistance to their parents. Actually everyone has to think about their own life, family and just help other relatives when it is possible to afford it, when they have a good relationship, when their relatives have deserved some help.

I wouldn't say that we are obliged to support our relatives, but for me, if I could help them, then it would be a choice, not something they would expect. I have always helped my sisters when I could as I feel I want to, not have to. _Derek

Hi toni... they are chance sucker and i appreciate your brother for refusing. My father has three other brother and as we are from very poor family, hence father applied all his efforts to make them financially stabled and now they are. But now neither call my father nor come to our home. so, i have no interest on relatives... just living with my parents........... have a nice day.

For me it's clear it's not, when I begin to live alone an aunt had the guts to call me and say if I needed help for me to ask from other aunt. She really heard from me that day, I'd call her 'mamm' all the time but after that it was YOU, with no respect. She really regret that, she was gaggling, trembling even. I was having a though time and she came to kick when I was down. All my relatives showed that if I ever get like millionaire in life, I don't have to help them at all. If yours helped you it's good to help back. I rather volunteer and help strangers, but if someone does something to me I'm not a saint, I can't just go on still helping like nothing happened. I stop helping. Many of them were people I helped, I was very shocked. But I'm just glad to not be ungratefull like some people have been in my life, I think the worst that could happen to them is that, be the way they are. I'm glad I can remember what people done for me and that's all. Once we begin to be a person that don't have gratittude the Universe doesn't bring nothing to us.

It's a usual and common scene in our culture. People just think that if someone connected to them by blood, that someone is bound to help in troubled times. I guess it's time for them to realize that YOU are not your mother. And that you too have your own families now. For whatever reason that your brother should help, it would be good, but he shouldn't be compelled. Cursing him because he refused to help is just not ethical, and just not reasonable. Where are the others? Specially the children? Come on, they should be the ones taking car of their dad not you and your siblings. They have no right to demand from you. Don't worry it isn't a mistake. I would rather refuse than helping with much disagreement in my heart. It's a vain act. It wouldn't be generosity at all. If your brother doesn't want to help, it's fine. I still hope though that they're getting things through now. And figured out what to do without your bros. help.

We are not, in any way, obliged to support our relatives. WE could help them when our hearts permits it. But it is not our obligation to always help them. Sometimes, always helping our relatives with their financial needs, makes them lazy and they will just tend to always ask us for our help. In your brother's case, he has the right to decline helping your uncle since in the first place, when you are in need, he did not helped you...

Your brother do the right thing. We should help others only when we ourself very settled. People who help other relatives never been obliged, so just help other in a limit, not beyond limit. I am sad for your mother. Sorry. Happy Mylotting.