Will you chase after a man who is not interested in you?

@bingskee (5238)
Philippines
May 31, 2011 10:22am CST
Some girls can go crazy, even crazy in love. In a radio program, a girl was asking advice on what to do with her situation where her boyfriend seemed to have lost interest in her. She had enumerated obvious reasons but she still wants to chase him and tell him how much she loves him. I understand that in a relationship, there has to be a closure. What I could not understand is how come the girl does not understand that the guy is not interested in her anymore? For me, if I was in her position, it would be an insult to my being. I would not go chasing after someone who sees me as nothing, who cannot even have the decency to tell me straight to the face that he wants to break up with me, and who does not care what I would feel. There is a sense in fighting for love but there is a great difference when it becomes obvious that the other partner had fallen out of love. And that I cannot bear. Girls, (or women), should remember that if a door closes, a window will open. There will always be someone for each of us. If there isn't a someone, there is a goal that would fill us with happiness by pursuing it.
6 people like this
26 responses
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
Very beautiful words coming from you bingskee. I so much agree with your opinion! I guess there's just certain people who wants to feel severe pain right before they start to accept the truth. Maybe they felt like there's still hope even though, deep in their hearts, there's not. Maybe they weren't tough enough to face the fact that the person that they're loving, no longer loves them in return.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
hello, elsmarie. wow, thank you! some people even lie to themselves.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
Yes... That's the sad thing about most individuals. They wait for the moment that they'd find themselves empty and miserable right before they realize that it's time for them to accept things.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
and sometimes it can be too late to detach from the feelings of misery.
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
never...i have been to that situation before. yes i was kinda disappointed because i expected him to be modest and professional (because he is a professional). i supposed women should be given extra modesty as to ending a relatinship. there must be a closure for us to stop expecting and waiting. but intuitive ones could easily decipher a fake and true gem. running after a guy who is not interested in you, could only add to the digust of the guy towards you. i do not want that to happen. at least on my case. i did not chase after lost puppies. and what did i get? reputation. reputation of being a good girl friend. maybe that is also the reason, until now i remain single. because i do not chase after wrong ones.. she should stop it. she might wake up the next morning broken. tsk! that's a terrible thing to handle..
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
hello to you. heard that line, too, that men gets more disgusted with women who chase after them. they think these women are not challenging. i admire you for being resolute with your decisions. i would always think that it would be better to be single than with someone who is irresponsible. those men who cannot even admit to their gfs that they had already fallen out of love, or wanted to have their freedom for a reason or two, are not responsible.
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
thank you for the affirmation. it is so nice to here that someone out there have the same mind as i am. this is the new millenium. most women of today had already realized their rights. might as well assert ours, too. we are women. and we hold in our hands part of tomorrow. let us not keep all these men to look down on us forever..women needs really education. and i want to make the first move for that mobilization.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
you are welcome. i believe that we have to have self-worth. we women have to believe that we play an important role in the society although this is not saying that all men are born to be a**holes. to be bitter, for one, is different from being an assertive woman.
• United States
1 Jun 11
Great post! I totally agree. The sad part is that these women can't see that he is the wrong guy And that the right guy is out there. Their true happiness is waiting for them. so they try to hold on to something that Really wasn't theirs in the first place. If a guy Really loves you , he runs Toward you , Not away! I was lucky. my ex just disappeared. I couldn't chase him! but It was the best thing. Why? Because after I mended I met the love of my life. He is right here with me. he Wants to be there For me. my wish is that these women finally wake up and stop chasing the lost cause and go forward and find their True love.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
thank you for appreciating. am i so glad you did not chase the guy! you could have missed your true love. you are right in saying that if a guy loves a woman, he will not turn away but instead will run towards her.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jun 11
Now I see that it takes courage to let yourself try again at love. It is so easy to just give up. Just think love isn't meant for you. I hope everyone can find the courage to try again.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
in everything we do, it is that ingredient 'courage' that is required of us. we cannot really face life without it. life can sometime be cruel. but i think more of the cruelties as spices to make it beautiful.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2118)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
Nice views you got there Bingskee. I also would want to believe that if one doors closes another one opens. Well, the transition isn't just so easy to bear or even imagine. And that somehow hindered a lot of people to face closures because there is doubt and fear in them that they might not be able to find another love again.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
hello, chuyins. if one is not sure ending up a relationship, i would advise to ponder more before plunging into that decision. it would be late to realize after that one is not ready yet. but if one is not happy anymore, i guess it has to be told. even with or without another one involved.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
Yeah, communication is one of the main and important ingredient in a relationship. It is better told than shown in action. It hurts more to see someone so cold at you than to hear the word that he's just not so into you now.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
plus actions could mislead..
• United States
1 Jun 11
i used to chase after guys even though they lost interest. But since I have gotten older and been without a guy in my life for the past 3 years I have grown to like it and don't hase after them anymore. I don't have to deal with being told what to do or a guy trying to control. I come and go as I wish. I come to realize no guy is worth chasing after if they want to leave there's the door don't let it slap you in the behind.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
perhaps it is not age that had gotten you to decide to stop chasing after them. it is realization that the act is not really worth it.
• United States
1 Jun 11
I think the older and more experience a person has makes them wiser. Having my daughter pretty much toned it down too not knowing who to trust around my daughter or who not to trust since there are so many pervs in the world these days.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
i agree very much with you. age and experience can do wonderful things. children can do even better.
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
In real life, if a girl tries to pursue a man who is totally not interested in her, it ends up to pain for the girl. It doesn't really end up like how it happens in the movies, especially in Korean dramas.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
ha ha ha that is so funny, minomarimat! that is the trouble with watching telenovelas and tv series. some end up believing some things are possible when mostly they are not.
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
true, right? It's funny how people tend to turn their lives into movies. :))
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
it could sometimes be dangerous for the young. they will tend to believe that what they is what really happens in real life.
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 May 11
There was a court show yesterday, girl had keyed another woman's car, and it was over a guy who was with the other woman now. People sure do stupid things over being jilted. Funny thing about it was that the guy didn't bother showing up in court to support the woman he was actually with.
@vandana7 (57188)
• India
31 May 11
He seems to have moved on from there as well..what a waste of effort.
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
31 May 11
Hello vandana, Seems, they were never in love but it was just infatuation. And when the boy jumped into another track the girl should have understood and waste of time it really was.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
@ dawnald yep, i believe that we all have that tendency to do stupid things but some do not know how to control doing them. i suddenly remember, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". shame on the guy!
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
1 Jun 11
right.if a door closes, a window will open.To the world you may be one person,but to one person you may be the world.find the one who think you are his world.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
that is a very nice perspective. keep it up!
1 person likes this
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
4 Jun 11
@sjvg1976 (13864)
• Delhi, India
1 Jun 11
Hi bingskee its of no use chasing a man who has not interest in you!!.When a man don't have an interest in you then why to go behind him if you expect being his GF then leave the idea because you cannot make him interested when he already showed his feelings & if you convinced him even then also somewhere in his heart or mind he will have some disinterest in you which can make him ditch you in future.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
girls or women who do chase after a man have their own reasons (mostly selfish reasons). sometimes they fail to realize that self-worth is more important. love can truly be blind at times.
@sjvg1976 (13864)
• Delhi, India
1 Jun 11
They must scrutnised these selfish reasons & if possible should kill those reasons!!!
• Philippines
31 May 11
Maybe she just needs closure and confirmation. Usually, a girl is bothered if she does not really know if her boyfriend had lost his interest in her. Maybe, she just wants to hear from the guy that their relationship isn't working anymore before the girl can fully let go of the guy.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
with the enumerated reasons like not answering her text messages, ignoring her phone calls, and hearing from his friends that he is currently dating another, i don't think there is a need to hear it anymore. the guy just has no balls. he's not worth the time.
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
Well, that's already the case, then the girl should not chase the guy. Because if she did, then she's just showing to the guy that she is weak and the guy could take advantage to this. A girl should be loved and respected. :)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
Hi Bingskee :) I'am a guy and i feel for the girl, girls now a days just dont think when there inlove they do crazy things just to get the attention of the guy they like and for the girl to ask for an advice through the radio that is very low for me... Life must go on she has to move forward and find other stuffs that would help her move on and for her to be productive aswel... To the guys out there breaking up with a girl propperly is the right thing to do, be a Gentleman you cant sugar coat or find the right words when breaking up with a girl even if you do find the right words its still the same you would still hurth them but the good thing about it atleast you were man enough to tell it to the girls face. chasing after a guy/girl is not love its infatuation or desperation... Love has no meaning you will only find the meaning of love if you feel it with all honesty :)
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
i think it is not necessary to judge her. maybe she doesnt have anyone to turn on to so she opted for the radio. i hear boys and men sharing their stuff on the radio which for some could also be stupidity. but that is how it is they treat it. they may not be anyone around to share what they feel.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
I underwent this phase of going "boy crazy" some years ago. It was hard to just let go of someone you truly love. It seemed like he's your everything and your world and life would be useless without him. So I did the chasing part too and now when I think about it, I'd say to myself that love can indeed make one lose reason. I am glad I am rid of that stage now.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
hello, cutie 18f. you are a brave young girl to admit that you went boy crazy at one point. i am glad, too, that you were able to get over the 'craziness'. sometimes being young can make us do stupid things because of being impulsive and unreasonable. intense attraction are even misconstrued as love.
@Jiabsa (512)
• India
1 Jun 11
I don't know the reason why some girls/women chasing a man even though they know that the man whom they are following in not at all interested in them. It is foolishness. They are reducing their value and wasting their time. They can try to make far better relationship with others. If we get a new relationship which is better than the former, we will automatically forget about that person to whom we love at first. Yes, if one door closes another one will open for you. You can enter inside the new door. That door eagerly waiting for you.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
as said, love is blind...
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
no, not even in my thoughts. why should i? waste my time and effort for a guy who doesn't like me at all. not at all! there's so many other better things in life than chasing after that guy! besides i did not study and work hard just to loose my pride and self-worth for someone such as him. it's not worth at all. anyway i hope no girl will give away their decency and self-worth chasing a guy who's never interested in them. life is too precious to be wasted. if you two are meant to be then you just have to wait for the right time. happy mylotting!
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
hi, angel. sad that not all girls have the same conviction like yours. and it is because we all grew up in different homes, with different parents, and in different situations. it is sad to know, too, that i had been hearing a lot about girls chasing after boys, and they get younger everyday.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
1 Jun 11
I would rather be single for the rest of my life than to lower myself to "beg" for love and respect. I know all about mixed signals and how a man can say one thing and show another. A woman should go by how he treats her and not the words that come out of his mouth. If she does not "feel" loved then something is wrong and if he isn't willing to work with her on it then it is time to move on.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
that is why it really makes me wonder (and i despise the idea) - to beg for another's love and attention, particularly that of a lover. things can be learned including learning to forget and move on.
@6928961 (111)
• China
1 Jun 11
For man chasing a girl not interested in him is the same.When I was a high school student,I was chasing a girl for three years,but she didn't pay any attention to me.We were not at the same school.everyweek I walk several kilometers to her school to see her.But she didn't see me.she let her friends tell me don't come her school again.I was so upset!After three years I went to college,I gave up to chase her and I met my present wife,we have a very happy life now!So like what you say:a door closes,but a window will open!There are slways right people waiting for you!Wish everyone can meet her/his mr/mrsright!
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
wow, three years! that is such a long time. reminds me of a former colleague in college who was really after a girl who didnt even give importance to his efforts. he is also married now with 3 kids. i am happy for you for finding ms right. unfortunately, it does not work like that for others.
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
For me, I wouldn't go for someone who's not interested in me. It would be like loving a wall! He'd be there but no nothing in response to your love. I believe that people shouldn't be forced into situations they don't like and so if he wants out, out he can go.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
very true, a man also has the right to be happy. if he is not happy with his current partner anymore, and the issues cannot be settled anymore, let him have his freedom.
@783748 (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
True. If a man is no longer interested, just let him go. We have to preserve our self-worth. Chasing after him is the craziest thing to do. There are a lot of men out there who is more deserving of our love. Things will just fall into place the way it should be at the right time.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
just like any other process, everything has an end.
• Philippines
31 May 11
It really depends on the situation. If I really like the guy, then I would take a chance and give it my best shot in order for him to take interests in me. However if we're talking about an exboyfriend, then the case is different since you already got history. If he is no longer interested, then I would let him go. They say if you truly love someone, the best way to show it is to set them free. There's no use being with him if he is no longer feeling the same way. Making a relationship work should be a two way relationship. Being in a one way, can only hurt not only your partner but you in the long run. It's best to end the relationship while there's still love and respect instead of ending it with only bitterness left. I believe that when you love someone and they don't love you back, then you have to set them free. If they come back, then it's meant to be. If they don't then somebody will come who will love you the way you deserved to be loved.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
that is one positive way to treat the whole thing -- If they come back, then it's meant to be. If they don't then somebody will come who will love you the way you deserved to be loved.
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
31 May 11
Hi bingskee, Yes, I was taken aback by the behavior of the girl. If she knew that she was in love with that guy she to be careful of the approach as well as nature. Be it my friend or any one trying to avoid my company it does not take time for me to make final assessment and before he said anything I said mine. And I am the last person to chase a woman/girl because when I am to chase means I have demeaned my own position. For me - love is not love that changes when alteration finds..."
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
i have not thought of men chasing women/girls. though i have to say that we should not insist ourselves to others if they do not need us anymore.