How do you avoid playing favorites among your children?

June 1, 2011 5:56am CST
I have two daughters and I adore them both. But my first daughter is a bit more "challenging" when it comes to disciplining. My younger daughter is more well-behaved and is simply a darling. Sometimes, I can't help but prefer taking care of the younger one because she is such an angel. I'm afraid I might be playing favorites and I'd hate doing this to my kids. I love them both dearly and they just make me sooo happy. How do I avoid playing favorites?
1 response
• United States
2 Jun 11
I have three children; a daughter age 8 and a set of boy/girl twins age 4. I often have the same feeling about playing favorites. I feel like my son (who is the demanding, everything must go his way type) often dominates family outings and my girls suffer because I give in to him so much just to avoid the whining/outbursts all the time from him. All child experts will tell you that children misbehave because they are seeking attention. I have tried to make effort each day to give each of my children some special attention from me. Sometimes they just want to be involved. For example, my youngest daughter loves to help me cook dinner, so that is "our" time together. My son likes for me to read him books, so that is what he chooses to do most of the time. It is a bit challenging to manage the time to spend with each kid individually, but it really does seem to help a lot. The dicipline system has to be consistent among all the children. Just because one is easier to get along with than the other, doesn't mean they should have different expectations for behavior. This is the biggest thing that I struggle with. Go over the household rules frequently with your kids and praise the one that is behaving well in front of the others. Peer pressure can go a long way with kids. Hope this helps! Remember too, none of us are perfect parents...we just do the best we can and manage things one day at a time.
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
Thanks for your response. Sometimes, hearing fellow parents say that they can relate and are going through the same thing, comforts me. I feel that I am not alone in this. It's just too hard to find the perfect balance sometimes. But, thanks for sharing your thoughts. it helped a lot.
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