Happy People Do not Compare

@bingskee (5237)
Philippines
June 9, 2011 10:35am CST
I am getting sleepy now and so I am sharing this part of a Hub page I wrote. from Happy People Do Not Compare Instead of comparing then feeling ill towards other people, make other people's virtues and distinction an inspiration to be a better person. Be happy for others. Be happy for yourself. Whatever you have, be thankful of the blessings and privilege you receive that others do not. Instill in your heart and mind that we cannot have everything. Perhaps it is for the reason that the world has to have its equilibrium. It is not a balanced world when everyone who resides in this world are beautiful, or rich, or talented. We need the mediocre or the conventional to identify the exceptional, and to help us work for a goal. Honestly, do you sometimes find yourself comparing? What does it do to you? Do you think it had made you a good or bad person? I love to hear from you.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@vandana7 (68596)
• India
9 Jun 11
Good discussion bingskee.. I think in the world that we live, comparisons are a part and parcel of our lives. It would be a lie to say we dont compare. We compete in class, we compare. We have brothers and sisters, so we compare. Our parents compete in their workplace, so we learn of comparisons. Likewise, there are neighbors, aunts, cousins...endless. I think comparison is fine. It is also fine to use that as a motivation for doing better. It goes wrong if people start passing snide remarks out of jealousies when they cant catch up or do something to put the other down. Truly happy person remains focused in himself or herself and tries to do better I guess, while others try to pull the achiever down. That would be my way of differentiating.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
thank you, v. they are part and parcel of our lives. exactly. i actually hope that a lot of mylotters will read this discussion and treat it us motivation. comparisons borne out of jealousy is very bad. it is the extent of damage a person can do when drowned by the negative effects of comparison that is scary.
@vandana7 (68596)
• India
10 Jun 11
Actually bingskee..I dont think anybody starts comparing with bad intentions. Such things often come because somebody else points towards the disparity, look how much he has, or how well he fared, kind of thing. Or somebody who pesters that you should earn because everybody is earning that much. That works on mind. All people start as good people. Somewhere in between they become bad because of the type of people they encounter. May be they can be good again, if they encounter the right type of people. Yes, I too wish this discussion is read by many, and there is plenty of input here that makes us think and improve us as person. Have a good day bingskee.:)
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
10 Jun 11
Vandana! Another important thing is the environment in which a person is brought up. THe right sense of values a person imbibes early on in life helps him /her deliberately control negative impulses too.Ultimately, comparing another person and feeling jealous is only going to make oneself unhappy and this person has to wallow in misery and discontent till the end.There is no solution except from within.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
9 Jun 11
A lesson that my mother dinned into my ears when I was a child was that I must never compare myself to others. She also lives by this dictum. There was a great lyricist in our regional language and I am an ardent admirer of his songs. In one song ,the words used to go like this " there are a million people who are worse off than you. Think about it and derive solace about how well you are". This made a fine impression on me when I was young and adopting this ideal has always kept me contented and happy. I thank my mother, my school and my teachers for instilling this sense of gratitude in me .
@thesids (22357)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Jun 11
Hi Kalav "there are a million people who are worse off than you. Think about it and derive solace about how well you are" - really works wonders at times when you are feeling low and hopeless. I have benefitted from this many a times in rcent 4 years. I think it works great for those who take it positively - as on another discussion, someone told me that this can make people more gloomy as when we are sad, we normally see things on the sad tones.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
9 Jun 11
I feel that one has to train oneself not to look at anyone else lest he gets into this web of unhappy comparisons. It calls for a great deal of self control if you are not used to it. As I had written, I was trained early in my life and therefore I never look at anyone else regarding anything.I am happy the way GOd has made me and I have also been blessed in many ways. I thank Him for it thesids.Moreover, as Vandana has written, focus on oneself for self improvement would prevent unhealthy comparisons.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
hello, kalav56! nice of you to drop by and share your thoughts. those lines are exceptional. a dictum that has to be learned by heart. thank you for sharing such a positive thought.
• China
10 Jun 11
What you said is full of philosophy.Sometimes we might as well compare ourself with others,namely others' virtue,knowledge,Industry,etc.However,we mustn't just be jealous of others'virtue or strong points,we should look upon those as a challenge to greater exertions.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
it will definitely have a positive result to take beautiful things that others have as challenges.
• United States
9 Jun 11
Hi bingskee I believe all of us at one point or other do compare ourselves with others. I personally can say that when I hear about misery and misfortunes I definitely see mine as being small things and therefore, I can count my blessings. When others are happy, then it reminds me that life is quite short therefore, I must not dwell on my small things and relish all the brighter sides of life. I don't find it to be a bad thing if one is solely doing so to improve oneself and or help others to remind them of their blessings also. See when they are sad/ill we can compare ourselves as being blessed and sympathize with them so that maybe that can make them a bit happy too.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
hello, HWG! i do that often, too - tell myself that my concerns (predicaments, actually) are minute compared to some others concerns. i guess it is our way of coping. ha ha comparing is not bad thing if it results to a good thing. it is the main objective of this discussion to instill the idea of not dwelling on the bad things but to move on with life's challenges. happy day to you!
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
I find myself comparing when i'm frustrated. it only comes whenever i'm having the worst days or depressed. it is true that people who are happy do not compare and it because happy people are contented. i believe that happiness only lies in contentment. someday we'll feel contented, we just have to go through life to see all the beauty of it until we become contented and be happy. :)
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
hello, dear. contentment is very subjective. i hope you can learn to focus more on what can make you happy and then work for it. it does not help comparing what other have and what we dont have.
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
9 Jun 11
I can see your point. Of course that is in general, as there are bound to be some comparisons about things in life, even if they are not on purpose. Rather it is just something that are in our heads, trying to really subconsciously make distinctions by comparisons. So when you really think of that in the strictest terms, no person in the history of the world was ever happen. It is a part of human nature and one of those things that often times cannot be helped when you really think about it. However, its not something that we should make a habit of doing. Or going out of our way in doing. Doing it in general, that doesn't really make us a bad person. However, doing it constantly, really trying to get everything done in life, comparing everything, that is not exactly the most healthy thing. In the end, we are going to really make a lot of comparisons in life, that are going to lead to us feeling resentment. It is how we let this resentment guide our life. That is the distinction that I feel with life.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
comparisons are generally felt, i agree. but i think that there are always extreme cases in most aspects of living. comparing is one of them when a person compares and thinks that he or she is better than the other and treats those he or she considers below not very nice. comparing too can go to the extreme where one wallows in depression because of comparing herself or himself against successful ones. much worse, these situation can drive people to character assassinate, for example.
@thesids (22357)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Jun 11
Dear Ms Bingskee A really wonderful discussion I am one of those who always compare. Anything, I find comparing myself with others for a while (if not more). But yes, I compare only to the extent where I can use the comparision for growth and positivity. I do not compare for finding out faults in me or even in others. I compare - what you would have done if you were in my shoes (because I think everyone thinks differently) and this helps me many a times to see the other prespectives to my own problems. On other times, when I am low, I compare myself with someone who is in a more miserable or worse situation than me, take note that this is not happened with me and I am safe, blessed that I am not in his shoes. I think, comparisions should always be around but only for those who take them positively, in a healthier aspect and do not start blaming or feeling bad, kealous or anything of this kind. We all have brains, we all know what is good and what is bad... but when we start comparing, we mostly start on the wrong lines making unhealthy conclusions many a times.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
hello, thesids! that is a positive attitude, thesids - to compare for growth and positivity. sometimes though when the pointed shafts of life is being thrown at us, we can't help comparing and then complaining. we have the tendency to be overwhelmed with the negative things in life resulting us being negative, too. that is why, we have to have conviction to perceive a right from a wrong.