Why do stay at home moms get a bad rep?

United States
June 9, 2011 1:16pm CST
I am a mother who chose to leave my profession to raise a family. My husband was encouraging even though it meant all the bills were on him. Unfortunately, my extended family has been irate about my descision. They are always pushing the lack of money and the "obvious" boredom. I am actually really enjoying the experience, especially as two of the girls are young enough to be full time stay at home. I was wondering if there are any other moms going through this, what their experience is and how they deal with it. We should all be proud of our direction in life, no matter what road we chose.
6 responses
@watergirl (569)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
For all it's worth, I think being a homemaker is the hardest job. You have to take care of your husband, kids, the house, budget, etc. I was a stay-at-home mom for a couple of years when I had my kids and it was the most nerve-wracking moment of my life. I felt like 24 hours was not enough for one day for all the things that should be done in the house. The more I clean up, the more things I see that should be cleaned! I guess, you just need a diversion from your daily tasks... MyLot is good diversion! See you around Jessica!
• United States
10 Jun 11
I've heard this before. I'm a mom who seasonally works outside my home, so half and half and I still got the "You could be doing so much more with your time." Speech. People act like raising ones children is a waste of time. Or setting yourself up for a ruined marriage and life. One of my sisters even asked me what would I do if my husband decided he wanted to leave me. My dad did that so I do understand where's she coming from and 's best for them and its another reason I keep my resume somewhat current. I think the bad rep comes from other women who basically think child rearing is something you should do while pursuing a career. Plus its also a side-effect of the rising divorce rate. A lot of women do get caught out there with no way of making a living while tending to small children because the husband leaves.
@moirai (1429)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
Stay-at-home moms have a bad rep? I didn't know that... I hope your extended family is just the exception and not the norm. I see nothing wrong with you being a stay-at-home mom. In fact I think, as you say your girls are young enough, being at home and present to guide them is for the best. Raising your children is a very noble priority. I think they are focusing too much on money that's why they think that way. So they are thinking of the 'money you should be earning if you were working'. They think you are missing out on that. They fail to see what you gained by staying at home, and that is, you are able to be there to guide your children more closely. Keep it up! =)
@tiffnkeat (1679)
• Singapore
10 Jun 11
Whatever others say, believe in yourself you made the best decision. Not just you, but you and your husband collectively. The time you invest in your children will yield rewards, beyond those who are now irate would ever imagine. Children are not a one-night or even 9 months responsibility. They are as good a lifetime joy to your family, so treasure them wisely, as you have chose to do. Do not be disheartened. Hold on fast to your important role. There are others, like me, who stand on your side.
10 Jun 11
I personally aplaud your decision to stay at home and raise your family. So many people have children and then put them in childcare or have nannies to eneable them to continue to work. I know that financially sometimes there is no other choice. But it saddens me that they miss out on so much of the "firsts" that children have in those early years. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for your decision. You are doing what you feel is best for your children and that is all any mother can do. You are very lucky to also have a husband that supports your decision and doesn't mind taking full responsibility of the financial income. You are very lucky xxx
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
9 Jun 11
I'm not a stay at home mom, but I think I can give you a fair opinion on your discussion. I don't think is also correct to generalize, not all stay at home moms have bad rep, maybe you and someone else you know but in my opinion it is something very realistic, it does exists, it has so many advantages, one of the few I can mention, your husband agreed to it, meaning you have his support, also, you'll have tme to raise your kids, which is something that in the current society doesn't happen that often anymore, but if your family (you, husband and children) have the opportunity to grow like that, I congratulate you. Don't pay an attention about what anybody else say, you can't live under people's judgement, even if they're relatives, they could be the worst to give an opinion.