The person you love does not love you back

Philippines
June 18, 2011 5:44am CST
Have you ever experienced this situation wherein you really love the person, you really admire everything about his or her attitude, personality, etc., but then he or she does not show the same feelings as you do? I have experienced this kind of situation. I know it really hurts but then I should accept the truth that the person I love and admire has her own choice and freedom to choose of whom she wants to be with. Despite of it, I always think that GOD has a better plan for me. It is worth waiting for that girl who is a blessing from GOD. How about you, have you also experienced this kind of situation? Do you have some advice in this regard?
6 people like this
13 responses
@grazmd (33)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I had this experience when I was in college. My crush on a guy turned into love. For 7 years I was silently hurting because I know he will never be mine. He had a girlfriend at that time but the girl was in another place. But no matter how much I seduce him with my charms, he held strong for the girl. Good thing though, I finally came to my senses. When I wasn't in love with him anymore, he began courting me. To get even with him, I turned him down. But God bless his soul. He is with our Creator right now.
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
Welcome to mylot grazmd! Seven years are something that I would not cope up. I am overwhelmed of your bravery. I cannot imagine being silently hurt for seven years. I know we cannot please everybody to love us. Whatever the reason it may be, I know there will be someone out there is who is really perfect for us. Perfect in the sense that despite of his or her imperfection in life, we still see him or her as perfect because of our unconditional love. I really appreciate you for sharing your story with us! GOD speed!
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Hi braveheart, I have experienced this kind of thing but not LOVE its more just LIKE! I liked a guy way way years ago guess was just in my first year in high school that time and I really had crush on him, I tried talking to him but he don't talked to me back, I feel like talking to the wall.. so embarrassing!! But its okay now, I already get over it. NOW, no more crush things or any relationships while studying. Need to focus in it! :D Good discussion you have here! God bless!
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Hi eddss.. A blessed Sunday to you . How are you? I hope you're feeling well and that your family enjoyed this weekend. I also experienced this one when I was still studying wherein I have a crush on my classmate. I always put some effort in making her smile and laugh. I even tried to treat her for a lunch but the sad thing about it is that she told me that she already had a boyfriend and that really breaks my heart so badly. Since then, I tried removing her in my mind and finally I got over with her. I studied very hard, put some effort in my studies, and it was a blessing from GOD that I became one of the top students in our class. That is something that I will never forget. Good thing that you are focusing in your studies. I am sure you will make it and finished your studies. Love can wait hehe. I am very happy that you like my discussion. I don't usually make a discussion, I think the last one I made was three weeks ago. I am more into responding. I am glad to see your post here eddsss. It makes me smile to see you around here. Take good care always and I will always keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I send you lots of love.
@gEa_88 (67)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Situations like this happen. I dunno If you already did, but it's always good to let the other party know how you really feel in words, not just by actions; it could get misinterpreted. And when things are said and done, for me, I would still want the other person to let me show my care despite not being mutual and like you did, to support her decisions. I still would love to hang out with the person I care about at present and not expecting anything until the one for you appears;go on with life, sharing your love and open to new people and it's not that you're hoping, you never know, that person could be the one whom you thought never felt the same as you is a possibility or someone even better. Goodluck and tc.
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Yes, I believe in you. It should also be felt in words, not only by actions. The sad thing is even if you've done everything for her, you were still taken for granted. It would be better not to expect than to expect because it really hurts when you know that you will never have her. Hey, welcome to myLot gEa_88. You've got a good advice. I am sure if somebody read your post, someone will also benefit from your answer.
2 people like this
@mskauchi (36)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I really don't know If I have experienced this kind of thing, as of now. I just trust that the man I love now, also love me. For your situation, i think it's a sad thing being hurt. How good and brave of you to think that there is still someone out there who is deserving of you love. And that is very true. It's good that you haven't closed your heart and mind of loving someone again after being hurt. Anyways, just some thoughts to ponder, first thing to do in order to stop loving a person who doesn't love you back is to forget about the person and to try and end the routine of thinking about them, over and over again. Stop saying "I cannot live without you, I cannot stop loving you, I love this person more than any other, I cannot love anyone else." things like that could only worsen the hurt. For sure, you should accept and face the truth that your love is not possible. You then need to rid yourself of anything that could remind you of him/her such as text messages and songs you listened to. Most especially, think that there are better people out there with whom you, as a brokenhearted person, could find true love with, a love that is felt with passion on both side. That's it! Happy myLotting and stay loving as you are! ;-)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I really appreciate your kind advice and compliment. I always believe that we should be brave enough to face whatever trials that may come along our way whether it is a family problem, love problem, etc. I agree with you, love should be felt with passion on both sides, it should be mutual. Relationship will last forever if both have mutual feelings and affection. By the way, welcome to myLot. I hope you will enjoy your stay of being here. God bless you.
2 people like this
• China
18 Jun 11
Yes, i guess i could really understand that situation, actually, i am experiencing this similar situation, i like a boy, who was my first love boys, i don't even know why i like him, he is so appealing to me, however, he don't know i like him, because i am shy to can not express my feelings for him, i am afraid him to reject me,there are many people to express love to me, i also only like him, it just make me feel confused...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
I can relate from you but I think if you only tell him that you have this affection for him, maybe he would appreciate your love for him. I know it really hurts to feel that if we tell the truth, we will just be rejected but it is twice the pain that we will feel if we hide it from ourselves and get silently hurt for how many years. That is what I have experienced before. Instead of keeping it secretly by yourself, you should express and tell it to the person you love. Regardless if we will just be rejected, at least we have expressed our feelings to the person we love. No regrets at the end. GOD speed!
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I think all of us go through this phase in our life. I too have gone through it twice. I don't know how, nor why, but when I was in college I really liked one guy. He wasn't my ideal and my type at all, however, it didn't stop me from feeling something for him. Unfortunately, he never saw anything in me other than being his classmate. It was weird because I think he never knew about my feelings for him, but he did some stuff to make me feel otherwise. At one point in time, he suddenly bought me something to drink (me alone and we were with other people in a group). Then there was also the time when he'd tell me that I'm beautiful. Anyway, I guess it was just his way as a guy. Then after a while, he started courting one of my close friends. She knew about my feelings for him and I guess she liked him too but because of me she was confused. I had to tell her that I was no longer interested and even lied that I liked someone else so as to help her decide. I didn't know anymore if it worked out or what because she no longer talked about him. The second time around was with someone I thought was my ideal and my soulmate. We'd talk to each other for hours and just had a great time. The 'friendship' lasted about 8years but it seemed he wasn't really that interested romantically. After 8years he got married. Then several years after the wedding, he told me that he did feel something from me but was too afraid to tell me. Bummer, right? Well, though these things have happened in my life, I'm not really regretful that they did. Perhaps those situations happened for a reason and they made me the way I am today. I am glad though because I have a good man in my life and he's everything and more than what I wanted and he loves me so much. As for asking for advise, I think you should just keep cool. Not do something stupid and just take care of yourself. Not to be overly concerned nor insecure for not being given attention. Don't worry you will find your match as well, just be patient. Have a great MyLot day ahead!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
Thank you for your great advice. Patient is really a virtue. I have learned that from my friends. There is always a good thing after all if we are patient enough. Another thing also that I learned is not to lose hope. Even though we were taken for granted by the person whom we love, we should still keep going and be strong. I always think that even though this situation is happening to me, I keep myself motivated. I just considered it as a challenge in our lives. There are so many things to look forward to and be happy about. My family is there always for me, my friends, my co-teammates at work, my church mate. They are blessings from GOD and I could not ask for anything else. GOD is really good! You've got a great story laydee. GOD bless you!
@zeith88 (115)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I experienced this, but its only a crush, I wanted to know if the feeling is mutual and I used her best-friend at the same time also my friend, to know if she has a crush on me and I knew that she couldn't, so I never started courting, maybe I'm afraid that she didn't accept me. Found out later that she had a crushed on my brother, so I spare her and leave it to my brother.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
Oh, that is nice of you. You are gentleman enough to leave it to your brother since she has a crush on your brother. I think you did what is right. If the person we love would feel happiness with someone else, then we should wholeheartedly accept that. In your case, it is only a crush but you sacrificed your affection to that girl for the sake of your brother. That's a good deed of you.
@potrish78 (742)
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
I know exactly how you felt. I can relate to your situation because I just happened to be in that situation almost two years ago and I am still feeling hurt of how things turned out. I started dating a guy whom I never really thought I would fall head over heels in love with. I started to love him gradually until it was full blown only to find out that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend who never treats him right. It hurts that no matter what I do, even though he tells me that I'm more than he could ask for in a girl, the fact is he is not in love with me. It's a sad truth. There's nothing you could in this situation but to accept things and mourn for a while and move on. It's taking me almost two to totally move on but I'm getting there. Good luck!
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
That is really sad to know that the guy whom you love was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. But it is good to know that you are slowly moving on after almost two years. That is always the sad part of a relationship. When we are still in love with our ex, we cannot concentrate on loving another person. I appreciate your response potrish78. GOD speed!
@clocks123 (1228)
• United States
18 Jun 11
it is good to find out this person isn't the right person for you before you get serious. there will be a special person for you and you will find them. it does hurt, but in the end think of it this way, it is for your good. best to you.
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
Thank you for your kind advice. I know that there will be someone out there who is really meant for me. Though it takes time but it is worth waiting for. Your advice is also good for those people who are in a relationship but feel that they are not really meant for each other due to some differences and misunderstandings. Better that you will find it out right away than going to a serious commitment like marriage, then later on you will regret why you have chosen him or her as your wife or husband.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I think I can relate to this. The only this is I found out that she did not love me back is when we broke up. I was played. That was a big ouch. I just can't imagine why people do this kind of things. If they have nothing over the other then they should have let it go in the first place. I think that it is very wrong to play with emotions. I just hope that this never happens again to anyone.
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
Sorry to hear that. Why there are people who keep on playing with others' emotions. There are people who will engage in a relationship but without true affection. Maybe, they were just happy to play with our emotions or just for their experience only. This is not really good. That is why getting to know each other should be considered first before engaging in a relationship, so that we will be able to know the true intention of the person whom we think is the one meant for us.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
hi, yes,many times in my life,and the best thing i did was to ignore them,and forget them,even today i experiencing that,but thats life i should feel the hurt sometimes,so the only thing i can do is to avoid that feelings and trying to ignore that person again.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
I experience that situation, friend. For me is the worse cases because the person I love with was married for me and all the things I do did not mean for her. It's really hard into this situation...
@gamma9967 (607)
• India
20 Jun 11
Even you are unlucky as i am because even i have faced a similar situation like you faced and yes it hurts a lot when something like this happens but i also like you hope that its fine and God would have some different plans for me.