Life With An In-Law
By candyfairy21
@candyfairy21 (2039)
Philippines
June 27, 2011 3:26am CST
How many of us squirm when we hear or read the words In-Laws? hahaha I bet most of us squirm at the idea of having them visit our homes much less live with us. I admit I have never really been in good terms with my crazy sis-in-law. Technically she is my hubby's sister-in-law since both our hubbys are brothers. Since the day I met her she has displayed this certain attitude that says "I am superior". Although I am not out to compete with her she has been since day 1 trying to pull me down.
Rewind she married my hubby's brother about this time last year, that is 8 months earlier before I married my hubby. It gets to her nerve that they went steady for 10 years before getting married and I with less than a year married my hubby. I am also younger than she is and she is older by 2 years than her husband. I being 4 years younger than my hubby, 5 years younger than she is. It does make her tick....
She even tried telling me not to marry in haste... which I was not of course...she wanted us to wait long perhaps longer than she did. But if that's her and I am me. She started this mean talk against me which were all baseless and bad mouthed me to my hubby's relatives... my hubby was mad of course but did not want to make things bigger. However, one time it went out of proportion and I was quite mad that I said something directly at her in front of everyone else. The next day we were asked to face each other together with the elders.
Oh she was one big drama queen hahaha...blurted out carefully chosen lines accompanying the sobs... I thought I was the only one noticing but hubby's cousin did too. She thought she fooled everyone else ...oops but not us. All were lies that came from her insecurity and jealousy that created all it. Thing was I get along very well with hubby's family esp. mom-in-law and she did not. So she want to pull me down so she could pull herself up....
however, things have a way at getting back esp. bad deeds. 2 days ago she was crying on the phone to her husband who was visiting us because she heard this talk about her controlling their money...which was absolutely true hahahahaha.... and she was trying to deny it, and it came from hubby's relatives. I could not help nut smile on the inside... she got a dose of her own medicine, but hers however was true and what she said about me were all lies. I guess it's more painful for her now since it came from her hubby's family.
What about you do you believe in karma? how do you deal with in-laws?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@beingwell (3625)
• Thailand
27 Jun 11
Oh wow! Wouldn't it be in hilarious if you guys end up the best of friends later on in life?
All I can say if always be on the good side and you'll do perfectly well candy. By the way, yeah! My mother-in-laws visiting us soon. I'm excited to see her. I hope she brings loads of "pasalubongs".hahaha!
All I can say if always be on the good side and you'll do perfectly well candy. By the way, yeah! My mother-in-laws visiting us soon. I'm excited to see her. I hope she brings loads of "pasalubongs".hahaha!1 person likes this
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
well it would really be nice if my in laws were like that hahaha...loaded with pasalubongs and not loaded with gossips. So, as a rule of thumb I don't see them as much... the less interactions the less gossip. y side of the family though brings in a lot of pasalubongs and less gossip so hubby does not have difficulty with them.
@beingwell (3625)
• Thailand
27 Jun 11
Good for your hubby candy!hahaha! Not so good for you, I'm afraid. I think it's normal for families to gossip with each other and against each other; and especially gossip against extended family members. It's not different with our families. It's what binds us together!hahaha! But at the end of the day, family is still family. It's stronger than any other bonds.
It's what binds us together!hahaha! But at the end of the day, family is still family. It's stronger than any other bonds.
@SilverVixen (284)
• United States
27 Jun 11
It sounds to like you just don't like weddings. I'm married but I didn't have a wedding. You don't need a wedding to be married. Or you can have just a few friends there. And I never changed my last name to my husbands. It's not that I didn't want it, I love his last name, but we just haven't done it yet. And I do think weddings shouldn't be about only the bride. When we finally do have a wedding, I think he would have more input than me. He brings it up more than I do. And we plan on having his fantasy wedding. He's always loved renaissance and i just got into it right before we met. I was never one of the girls whoI do believe in karma and I think she deserves more than just a little bit of bad talking. Gosh I hate one of my inlaws, I mean I strongly dislike him, I try not to say hate but its pretty darn close. He lived with us for 6 months, maybe more. Never got a job, never cleaned up after himself, ate all the food. I mean seriously, how can one person go through an entire loaf of bread, half a box of POP tarts, and 6 hot pockets and still bug you about cooking supper? And he's only 145 pounds. Not to mention we had to pay for his dogs food for 4 months after he moved out too. And he still refuses to get all his junk. So I know what your going through. If I wrote even half of the mean things he's said, I would b here all night. And if he says my sons eyes are "sh!t colored brown just like his moms" I don't give a crap who is there, I'm punching him in the face and throwing him out of my house. Yea, kinda sorry I vented on your post, but your not the only one dealing with this crap. So best of luck to u and I hope she gets what she deserves.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
29 Jun 11
oh I have nothing against weddings...I love weddings. I just don't like my sis-in-law. I would hate a brother-in-law like that...what a slob! Good riddance to him and hope he does not come back anymore! I'm glad I stood my ground when she asked that we could all live under one roof so we could share the bills and the rent! Who knows what the h3ll she would have done had it happened.
@SilverVixen (284)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Ok well I don't know what happened with this post. Some reason it combined this one and my last together. So just ignore the first part till I can figure out how to delete it please. Or could someone tell me how to delete? That might be faster. Thanks
@minnie15 (143)
• United States
28 Jun 11
I had to smile when I saw your post. Not that I find it funny...but in-laws. They all drive me crazy. Mine "surprise" us almost every weekend and they all have issues. Sometimes I need to get far away from them or else I have and hard time holding my mouth shut. Karma will bite you in the butt.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Living with an inlaw can be a blessing in your time of need. It can also be the curse that moves you out of their house. It may work out for a while but everyone thinks that they are in charge. Bitterness can quickly find its way into the home when you live with your inlaws. some people do find a happy peace by living with their in laws. it all depends on the cirumstances.@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
29 Jun 11
you are right it can be both a blessing and a curse. But most of the time it is a curse lol
@andrey0109 (297)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
27 Jun 11
Oh well I can say that I am happy that I don't have any sister-in-law or brother-in-law coz my hubby is just a solo kid.So i have no problem at all in terms of dealing with the siblings-in-law. As well as I have no problem at all with my parents-in-law because they are so nice to me and pampering me like their own daughter coz they never had one.
@fujisaki61 (75)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
Hello Candyfair. There are times in my married life that I almost gave up to problems associated with in-laws living with us. In the first place they should not be here living with us. They encroached our own privacy in life but our culture tend to dictate things to our married lives. When you marry a man or a woman coming from the 7,100 plus islands so they said, the following year a brother or a sister live with you while they pursue their studies and after graduation a cousin follows and another cousin or so..... until your house becomes a boarding house. One thing I don't like is during school break. They rushed to take the last ship for the islands and take their vacation leaving their bedrooms with pillows and blankets in disarray,garbage and after 45 days they return bringing news about local politicians and their fathers association with them making the house a place for reunion with their auntie who is my wife. As for the old woman an illness place her out of the picture and at bay in her bed in diapers adding to my wife's sister who's already in bed due to a recent stroke and nobody took care of her for the husband is no longer around. The house is like an infirmary now. So you are right for making yourself smile at your situation. In my case I consulted my father everything and he just smiled while his cancer is on the offensive. According to him 'a house is made by people and it must be ready whenever people come to you for help'. This is what I learned from my own father who is on his way to end. I adapted it and you know what? Other forms of graces come to my family. Just endure it candyfair. Continue to smile .I have learned my lesson.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
27 Jun 11
I've just been waiting it out. We had a number of problems when my husband and I first started dating, and then a few when we first got married. But after a while, things settled down. It's hard to join new families together, and I've been lucky that things have improved - some of my friends have crazy in laws like yours.
@BarBaraPrz (45498)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
27 Jun 11
How do I deal with in-laws?
I don't.
I'm divorced, so not only do I not see him anymore, but I also don't have any contact with his family. As for my family, I rarely interact with my sibs and their spouses.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
28 Jun 11
It is hard to get along with everyone in a one big family if you notice. Some people would absolutely jealous on another person. So, basically, you can simply ignore them. Although I am not married, I had some problem with my own family members too. I hope that everything will be easier for everyone, and everyone should have less conflict.
@tiwari5485 (422)
• Canada
27 Jun 11
'In-laws' I know the word has been made to sound very scary but I'm sure if we keep optimistic it's not as bad as we think. My sister-in-law visited us for a week in the beginning of this month. Like yourself, I was also very tensed about how things would turn out since I have always had problem dealing with my in-laws over the phone. Luckily, with my nature, I am a very patience person and usually don't let go off relationships so fast I decided that I will take it one day at a time after she arrives instead of getting sick worrying about how things will go.
Sis in-law and her husband arrived, I followed Indian tradition of touching their feet and joked about her giving me a gift since we were meeting first time after my marraige (I married in Canada and my in-laws are in India and traditionally one should give some gift after feet touching). Sis in-law behind my husband's back said plenty of ill things about how it's my responsibility to take care of all the family in India (meaning I should send monthly some money to my mom and dad in-laws) etc. etc. I just sat there listening to her and nodding my head without any clear indication of 'yes' or 'no'. Sis in-law tried her best to create a ruccus in the family but I stayed calm and continued and concentrated what "I" was supposed to do, provide her with clean living conditions, food and take her out for site seeing and that's all I concentrated on. I did not bother to reply to everything that she said and just took her words as 'her knowledge' that she was trying to share with me and time flew by...
@luvequinox (22)
• South Africa
27 Jun 11
In-laws are the best. Without them, there may be no wife or hubby to get married to but what goes around definitely comes back around.
