My boyfriend is embarrassed of my looks!! :(

India
July 17, 2011 8:39am CST
I and my boyfriend are both 22 years old. We are in a relationship since the past 3 years(almost). We got together in second year of college. After things didn't work out between him and my best friend, I was there to help him out. In the process we liked each other and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I resisted a little, as i knew i wasn't good looking, and fat too. But he convinced me that his feelings are real regardless of my looks, and also told me that this wasn't just a rebound thingie for him. Thus, I agreed. But, since the very start of the relationship, he never used to talk to me in front of his college friends, and neither was comfortable in holding hands, etc. outside of college as well. Whenever i asked him if it was because of my looks, he always said that even though I should reduce weight, this was not really the reason. He said he just felt uncomfortable and that guys generally are not open about their relationships with their friends and crap like that. He was always successful in convincing me some way or the other. I need to mention that there came a time in college, when I had lost all my friends and was all alone, all the time. I used to have my lunch sitting alone in the lab, while he used to sit with his friends, and still not near me. I told him very many times that I was hurt and so lonely but he always maintained that he can't do it. Finally, yesterday I coaxed him to a point where he told me that the real reason is that even though he finds me beautiful and loves me, other people find me ugly, fat and argumentative. And this is the reason why he has never made our relationship public. He is right about me being ugly, fat and argumentative. In addition, I am also dominating and very harsh on him at times when we've fought. But still, I cannot come to terms with the fact that since 3 years of being with me, he is still not comfortable with the way I look, and is more bothered about what people might say if they know he is with me. I am hurt, And even though we are very much in love, my principles are not allowing me to continue this relationship. I know that owing to my bad looks and even worse nature, I might never again get a lover like him. Yet, I don't want to continue being his girlfriend, especially since he has made it pretty clear that in future as well, he has no intentions of making this relationship public, and he said he wouldn't be comfortable being seen with me , even though he says he loves me. Please guide me. And thanks for reading it this far. :)