Deprived by your family
By nytrisco
@nytrisco (567)
Philippines
July 25, 2011 7:57pm CST
Have you ever experience this one? I am currently living on my parents house and since we have a strong family ties in our culture here in my country. After my mom died my dad married a woman and now I do have a stepmom and a step sister. At first, I didn't have any idea that my dad was planning to marry someone again and adopted a baby girl. He never tell me his plans, that I think I still have the right to know it since I am his son. Anyway here is my brief history, I didn't have a strong relationship with dad, in fact after my mom died that was the only time that I got to know him and had some bonding with him.
After he got married again, things were kinda like weird. Now, he never talked to me, if ever we have any conversation it will just end to fighting, he already cut my telephone line, my internet line and cable, he also sold the car that he bought for me, and now after he forced me to resigned on my previous job he won't give me any money allowance [And yes, I am looking for a new job], I am not allowed to bring my friends or relatives inside the house [but my step mother always bring her relatives and friends here]. It was like he doesn't want me here.
Two days ago, I told my step mother [since my dad is a seaman and currently on abroad] that I needed some money since I am looking for a job and also I have to re-new my driver's license. But until now, she didn't gave me any money. How will I look for a job if I don't have money for commuting? How will I re-new my license if I don't pay the fee?
Ever since he got married, I got this feeling that he deprives with his love, caring and also when it comes to financial status. My life now is so miserable and I hate it.
2 people like this
3 responses
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
You are into so much trouble. 
I could figure out your very bad relationship with your father and step mom.
I really can't exactly judge who should be blamed for this. But I believe you are the only one who could solve all this. You are old enough to stand on your feet don't you? If indeed you getting such kind of treatment from your Dad and his new family then go on your own. Don't depend on your Dad for money. Prove to him that you can live alone without his support. Go and look for a job. You have no money to do this, then do find a way. If there is a will there is a way. Prove to them you can make your life better without them.
I could figure out your very bad relationship with your father and step mom. I really can't exactly judge who should be blamed for this. But I believe you are the only one who could solve all this. You are old enough to stand on your feet don't you? If indeed you getting such kind of treatment from your Dad and his new family then go on your own. Don't depend on your Dad for money. Prove to him that you can live alone without his support. Go and look for a job. You have no money to do this, then do find a way. If there is a will there is a way. Prove to them you can make your life better without them.1 person likes this
@nytrisco (567)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
I tried to talked to my dad, I tried to take the gap between me and my dad but he doesn't care a bit. In fact, there was a time that my stepmom's niece stole a huge amount of money inside my room and a hidden cam inside my room took every footage that her niece did and presented to them, he didn't do anything after that. I did my part but he still has a big ego in his head and I surrender. I already proved to him that I can be on my own, when I had my first job before. but he forced me to resigned on that job since it was not related in my course. If I was to asked, I should had left this house long time ago, but my friend who is a lawyer told me not to, since I do have a right here because it was my mom's and dad's house in the first place.
2 people like this
@ludyvel04 (311)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
Seems like the new wife has a great contribution on why is this happening between you and your dad, just like the common stories with antagonist step mom.
Well you can ask help from your other relatives, specially from your mom's family.
1 person likes this
@nytrisco (567)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
Yeah, in fact some people do say that I can be fortune if I write my life up and put it in a drama series. Anyway, my other relatives especially my mother's side can't do a thing since my relatives is not so wealthy and is poor they don't have any power to help me. And in fact, when I had a job before I do help my grandmother on her financial needs too.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
27 Jul 11
I've read the other responses and I disagree with your "lawyer friend." You should not be staying somewhere that you hate because you think you have inheritance "rights." Your father can make a legal will any time that leaves his entire estate to his new wife and family, if he chooses to do so. If something were to happen to your father, you cannot assume that anything will be left to you unless he wants you to have it. You could go through the messy process of trying to contest a will but that can be a horrible thing and there's no guarantee of the outcome you want. From what you said, it seems he has completely cut you off from any kind of financial support so, as soon as you can find some work, you need to leave and live somewhere else. You are miserable there, in your own words, so you need to move on and start a life that will make you happy. Best of luck to you :))
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
29 Jul 11
I understand completely what you are saying, nytrisco. Your dad is obviously well off and you feel you are entitled to inherit what he has. You don't want your stepmother to have what you feel is yours. Ultimately, though, everything belongs to your father and he will choose where it all goes when he passes away. Unfortunately, if he decides to leave his entire estate to your stepmother, he can do that.
I think that the more you are confrontational with your father and stepmother, the more likely it becomes that you will receive nothing. Perhaps if you adopt the attitude that you will be civil and try to get along with your father's new wife and child, it might work in your favor. You say that your father is away due to his work. Perhaps you could become more the "man of the family" and help your stepmother while your father is gone? Maybe if your father sees you trying to stay as part of his "new life," he will feel more favorably towards you. However, if you dig in your heels and stay only because you "want to get your share" of his estate, he is going to see that as you only wanting money and having no regard for the personal relationships.
@nytrisco (567)
• Philippines
31 Jul 11
I tried to be civil with them but it doesn't work, I tried to be close with my stepmom but all I hear from her was side comments, backstabs, and make up stories from her. I will never do the "man of the family", I once did that but all I heard from my dad was this, "Who the hell you are trying to decide here in MY HOUSE?! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS!".
Whenever I am inside our house, I remain aloof, I am not that confrontational kind of person. If I hear some make up stories or backstabbing, I try to be at ease, just cry silently and pray that everything will be okay. I usually argue or confront them when I am full or pissed with all those untrue stories that I hear. Sometimes I unintentionally catch my stepmom and her relatives talking about me and I just leave them, but it is so hard just to ignore them and it will give me a very bad day.
1 person likes this
@nytrisco (567)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
Well, that is my plan B, find a job and leave them. But I really don't want my stepmom to have everything, it's like she came to my dad with nothing and now she has everything. And worst case scenario of it if my father wouldn't entitle me anything, I'm talking about millions here, lands, and properties that I really want to fight since I also have a right to have a share on it. Thanks for the advise! Hope everything will ok in the future =)
1 person likes this
