Way of Knowing Some One

India
July 29, 2011 1:23pm CST
A person is made up by his/her past, so if you want to know a person, try to know his/her past, unless he/she openly declares that his/her present is detached from his/her past. A friend of mine has been trying to understand me for some days, and for this she has been following my current writings closely. She fails to realize that if I intend to mislead her, I can go on writing with this purpose only. But I have been doing my job quite earnestly. This I am saying to prove that current behavior of a person is not the right source of knowing him, but his/her past deed are. The best source of knowing somebody is to go on hammering questions in his mind not allowing him/her to think and reply but keep on replying ex-tempore. The truth thus comes out easily. Everyone speaks truth when forced to respond suddenly.
2 people like this
6 responses
@marguicha (92072)
• Chile
30 Jul 11
That sounds very agresive, my friend. The word "hammer" itself is a weapon! It sounds as if you wanted to know someone by disecting him/her. I wonder what is truth and what is not truth in a person´s life. It much depends on the moment he/she is living. The past is always part of a person, as his personality does not change much. But I tend to think that deed and behaviour are only part of a person. There is thought and feelings also, and so many other complex things.
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Jul 11
hi marguicha does not that hammering sound like a courtroom where you are asked to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.? I for one would not tell the hammerer a damn thing but just walk off because to me this is aggressive and I will defend myself against that type of aggression.ask me in a kind gentle way and I will tell the truth.
• India
31 Jul 11
Oh, beautiful ladies, I am constrained to say that I am misunderstood, may be the word 'hammering' is inappropriate here. The whole discussion was in reference to a woman trying to know me for deciding on my proposition to her to be my companion for life. My intention was to provide her every right to ask me the bare facts about me whatever she desired. Thus, it was my intention to be put under hammer.
@marguicha (92072)
• Chile
1 Aug 11
I would not put through a 3rd degree interrogation to anyone I love either. Facts don´t say much of a person. It is the silences, the movements, the way the person looks or folds his hands what´s important. No symphony is complete with just the notes as no poem meaning is in the words. As for deciding on a proposition to be a life´s companion, where I live I would never need to interrogate the possible partner. It would have been all said and known bfore the proposition even took place
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
hello Ram, Knowing someone is not a matter of overnight talking and exchanging conversation. Not even those couples who lives under one roof will get to know each other for a year or two. It takes sometime to know the real person,not from the past or the present situation.. but from the heart and real intent. Naturally one's behavior will reveal the real he or she..inside and out. jaiho®
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jul 11
To know the person from the heart and real intent, you need to closely interact with him, that is what I call 'hammering your quest into his mind, to bring out the truth.' Anyway, all the best to you, and thanks for the patience and cooperation you displayed.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Jul 11
but hammering at anyone is aggressive and will for me at least make me very angry at you and I will not answer you as I don't trust people who come at me with aggression. You are more apt to get the truth from us gentle people by being courteous and kind not aggressive and never hostile at all. People are not all alike and should not be treated like criminals until proven innocent.You assume a lot of stuff thats just not true. we are all different and unique too.
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
you do have a point there rambansal... we can easily detect or corner a person's real intention when ask sudden questions face to face... however, some people are good in telling lies... some are trained in making stories, stories that you cannot tell if true or false unless verified to others... I know someone who can speak straight and look you in the eyes while narrating false statements...
1 person likes this
@bouncybug (615)
• South Africa
30 Jul 11
It is certainly the events that you have been through in your past that have shaped you into the person that you are today. So yes, learning something about someone's past can often help to understand them in the present. Sometimes, however, events in the past serve as a force for change, and allow us to grow and become better people. So don't judge others simply on who they were in the past - who they are now may well be different!
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
For me yes it has many task to do so be good and make all through by the time you are to be good.
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Jul 11
Rambansal this could be but for me when someone starts hammering at me I get defensive and grow cold and will not only not respond but may move quickly away.Not because I have a damned thing to hide but because I will feel this person whom I do not know seems to be attacking me.Normally I am an easy going person who has nothing to hide and will if apprached quietly answer truthfully all questions asked of me. b ut hammering is a technique used by police and teachers and other in authority. Its unkind and unwise and leads sometimes to fights too. oh I am sure evrery one that can take this method will tell the truth as they figure you might do something bad to them o therwise.but the method you subscribe to for some reason makes me very angry.Do you not see that this may lead the person to feel he is in court and on the witness stand, where you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I would not help you in any way were you to try this approach on me.