Would you agree to live with someone you love even if you're not married yet?

@jdex_143 (1094)
Philippines
September 8, 2011 2:34am CST
Hi, there lotters.. In our country, I know that it's not good to live with your bf/gf when you're not married yet. But, I think it's not that bad at all. You get to know each other very well when you live together. How about you? Are you pro? or do you believe that it is important to get married first before living together?
5 people like this
29 responses
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
Hi jdex! I've always thought that living together will be advantageous because that's the time you'll know better your partner. I still think that way, I guess. It's just as they say, you'll never really know someone unless you live with him/her under one roof. You'll discover everything about the person and who knows, you might discover something that you cannot, will not be able to accept which might leave to your permanent break up. When that happens, there won't be any complications and you'll be single again without a paper binding you to someone. However, I also think that when you're living together, you should not have children yet. It would be unfair for them when the partners separate.
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
I agree.. You'll never know a person unless you live with him/her under one roof. And I truly agree that to have a baby is a big no no yet.. Thank you secretbear.. If the two would separate and they have a baby, the pitiful one would be the girl.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
Exactly. Thanks for the best response.
@Amanda81587 (3046)
• United States
8 Sep 11
I am not married and I live with my boyfriend and our three kids. Today there are a lot of people trying to live together first before they get married to make sure it is going to work. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not, it is rocky.
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
Hello, Amanda.. Wow.. I think it worked out with you. You already had three kids with your boyfriend. Don't you have any plans of getting married?
• United States
9 Sep 11
We talk about it. The first two kids have a different father, but he loves them like they are his own. I told him I would like to get married because I want his last name, but we both agreed that we are not ready for it just yet, we are both still young. I am 24 and he is 22 we are still working kinks out.
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
hello, Well, for me I rather not to stay with my boyfriend in one house because I just want to miss him and I want to feel the spark being without him always. Yes, you have that kind of the fact that you will know each other but I will not risk the fact that will get live with him in one house.
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Hi, there! You have your point here.. Thanks for your thoughts.. It's a good thing to miss your partner too, once in awhile.
9 Sep 11
So you don't want to marry him or even if you get married some day, you will still continue to live apart just to miss eachother?!
@inertia4 (27665)
• United States
8 Sep 11
Yes, I agree with that. There is nothing wrong with living with your boy friend or girl friend before you're married. It gives you both the chance to see how marriage would be. And see if you are both compatible. It is a good life lesson.
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
Truly.. It's a good life lesson. You will learn much with it.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
8 Sep 11
I definitely don't have any qualms with this... Personally, I'd rather to get to know a person MUCH better before marrying them and legally binding myself to that person and be at the court and money's mercy before I could file for a divorce if I wasn't happy. I've lived with a few of the men that I've dated, but I had dated all but one of them for several years first... and that exception was a situation that if we hadn't moved in together, we likely would have never seen each other again. We stayed together for about 5 years and even though we haven't been in a relationship since 2004, we still live in the same flat. It's insane sometimes, but at least it's a roommate that I already know and trust!
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
Hmmmm.. 5 years is truly a long time..
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
I still believed in the sanctity of marriage,but, I never judge those couple who live without the blessings of matrimony. Besides, if we look around, marriage seems to to be like a piece paper nowadays. Many couple who have a lavish wedding still ends up in separation. So,we can never tell if marriage is a great bond or not. It all depends on the person and how couples handle their relationship and respect each other with love and trust. have a good day jaiho®
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
Yeah.. You're right. People nowadays seem to treat marriage like just an agreement placed on paper. There are many couples who just ended up in separation. For me, it's really good to know a person deeper before marrying him/her.
@toniganzon (49925)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
I have an open mind and i don't see anything wrong with it. But as much as possible i don't want my son living with any woman. I think that's because i'm a mother and i'm very possessive. Unless and until i approve of that girl then i wouldn't allow him to do so. But who knows? He's just 7 and we still have many years together.
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Hi, toni! I like the idea of you, being open minded.. I see, you're kinda possessive with your son.
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
8 Sep 11
I am fine with people living together even if they're not married. And yes like you do, I also believe they get to be close and get to know each other better.
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Truly..
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
well i am living with my boyfriend for 6 months now..and we didnt marry yet,, i guess it isn't bad at all for me..since most of our young generations today do such things.. however,, it is also important to marry first to make things legally right,,but sadly for us we cannot process this things due to some financial problems..and i also want our marriage to be organized and prepare.. hehe
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Hmmmmm.. We're on the same situation. I live with my boyfriend too.. Right now. But our parents didn't know. We don't know what they'll do if ever. But surely, my mother would be very disappointed with me. I don't find it bad at all. I think, it's beneficial for us because, we really get to know each other very well. Every little thing of each other. I just hope and pray that we will end up together for marriage. Soon.. If we'll have our budget. Hehehe.. Thanks for sharing your views.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
8 Sep 11
As far as I am concerned marriage is a written contract imposed by the government and the culture where you live. There are many legal advantages in the USA for doing this, but relationship wise I don't feel it is necessary.
@waflay (2717)
• Nairobi, Kenya
8 Sep 11
From my point of view,I think it all depends on what both partners agree on.That is there is no pressure from a third party to do this or that.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
8 Sep 11
I think it's okay. It's a nice way to get to know each other and spend time together.
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Sep 11
I agree..
• United States
24 Sep 11
I think it is up to the individuals involved. As much as divorce occurs I can appreciate not being married to a person. If I lived a man enough to share my life with him I would probably consider it.
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 11
In my opinion, if you want to stay together, it is good to register as a married couple. The wedding can be arranged later when both of them have better financial support. In my country, the Muslims are not allowed to stay together. For Chinese, the society will discriminate those who are staying together without marriage. If this couple accidentally has a baby, then their baby will have a difficulty to get his or her citizenship later. Since both of them are loving each other, they should commit to themselves by registering their marriage.
• United States
14 Sep 11
i dont think that it matters if you are married or not, i think it matters how long you have been together. for example if you have been together just a few months then no you shouldnt however if you have been together for a while and you both want to then i dont see the problem with it. it helps you realize to a degree what it will be like after your married.
• Mexico
12 Sep 11
Hi jdex: Some years before in my country, we see it as something bad but as years pass more and more young couples live together without getting married. I think it's ok if both are mature enough and they take their relationship seriously. It's like marriage, if you decided to live with someone you should know what your responsibilities are and what is your role in this new family. If both are mature and know what they want things can work out and maybe in the future this couple end up getting married. ALVARO
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
12 Sep 11
i am more to believe that it is better to live together before thinking about getting married. yes it will show up what the real personality of each person when living together longer. and when you find it you are not compatible with each other, you will have time to think about separating or getting to the next level of relationship. me and my wife lived-together for almost 8 years before we i asked her to marry me.
@mommytam (17)
10 Sep 11
Hi. I know is more the today thing to live without being married. but i got married and then lived with a guy but we end up in divorce after a year. My fiance now. we been living together for 2 years. and have beautiful children together. but our reationship is stronger. We live together before marraige. The plus is that we know we can live together unlike when i got married first. I dont see anything wrong with it. its better tofind out that you 2 are compabile and live together before marraige than it is to get married and then live and find out after marraige that you to cant live together and end up in divorce.
@macayadann (1235)
• Philippines
10 Sep 11
Today, we are not approaching but already in a liberated world. For the women, they only need to be very extra careful not to give birth first while they are trying to know their partner or they are in the getting to know each other stage because she is already almost in a married relationship wherein even those who are really married ended up in a bad tied up situation leading to separation. Women are always in the losing end once children are involved as the decision to give up occurs in the end. In a trial relationship, it is easy to give up unlike in a married situation that you need to have all the sacrifices to save the relationship for the sake of the children. It is not bad to live with someone you love but it is not as strong than when you are tied up with him in marriage because there is security in the bond that you can feel.
@anil02 (2968)
• India
9 Sep 11
I am from India. We have our traditional and social value. Our tradition not permit us for live in relation. Marriage is not to live together. Marriage means accepting each other with hurt and with shortcoming of each other. Marriage in not a relation between boy and girl. It is relation between two families.