Opposites Attract. Will it last?

relationship - opposites attract in relationship
@enelym001 (8334)
Philippines
October 28, 2011 11:02am CST
We all heard about that saying. And most of the time it applies to people who often look for someone to sort of complete one's self. Both fell in love not because they share the same interest, but because a man or a woman got attracted with some other things the partner has... physical looks, height, eyes, hair, inner qualities. But very opposite when it comes to movies they like, books, hobbies, drinks. Can two people really stay together even with such difference? Or do we end up regretting loving someone who don't love the things that interests us? If a couple gets married and be together for the rest of their lives, [b]will this type of relationship last? Will it work? [/b]
1 person likes this
13 responses
• United States
28 Oct 11
Yes I have heard about some couples who were the complete opposite. It was like a love/hate type of relationship and they seemed to last for a very long time. However, if one of them started to recognize wanting a bit more then what they were getting out of the relationship then they began to point out the faults of the other. This slowly but surely does ruin a relationship. Sad on how some cannot remember that this is how they met the person and accepting them that way means they were not going to instill/demand changes.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
So there is a possibility that it MIGHT last for a long time, but both should accept each differences in order for it to last. I agree that in the long run some people will start to see that what they have liked about the person is NOT REALLY what they want. And this will ruin the relationship.
• United States
29 Oct 11
I have often heard that two identical types does not make for an adventurous relationship. They say that usually one must be passive and the other aggressive, so to speak so yes it can last as this way one is more in the decision and the other into the agreeing modes. Thank you kindly for the BR!
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Oh don't mind that ^^ I rarely gives BR as I was completely forgetting it this. But as I was actually eager to see different responses about this and you really made me think that it is possible however it also might not. Maybe it always depends on these two people. Have you ever had any friends who married someone opposite of their wants and likes in life?
@Porcospino (16437)
• Denmark
28 Oct 11
The first longterm relationship that I had was a relationship where we were extremely different. We had different personalities, different interests, different ways of handling money etc and our differences created a lot of problems in our relationship. In the beginning it wasn't a problem and we both found it nice that the other person was able show us some new things and inspire us to do something that we hadn't tried before. We also admired the parts about the other person which were different from ourselves and found those things attractive. After a while things changed and we started finding the differences annoying instead of attractive and we had a lot of arguments because we disagreed about so many things, and for us a relationship with very so many differences didn't work out in the end.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
How long is that long term relationship that you had? I agree with you that eventually some couple would realize the differences they had and it can be annoying at some point.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (16437)
• Denmark
29 Oct 11
We were together for 3 years, it was a lot of fun in the beginning, but after a while our differences became a problem. We found it especially hard to agree about money, because he wanted to spend it all as in few days and I wanted to save some money for the rest of the month. We had a good time together in the beginning, but I must stay that I am happy that we never got married
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Okay that's really good that in three years you started to notice the differences you had. So he let you end the relationship just like that? Did he not swear to change how he spend the money?
1 person likes this
@umabharti (3978)
• India
29 Oct 11
We can not predict anything ,there are people who live together for their whole life though their taste or interest do very .
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
That is also true. Sometimes we cannot predict whether two opposite people will be happy or desperate with their relationship. Especially, married couples will most likely choose to work out with their differences for the sake of their children.
1 person likes this
@umabharti (3978)
• India
29 Oct 11
"for the sake of their children" i did not understand that.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
They don't want their children growing up having a broken family. Mom has a friend who was married and the couple only stayed under one roof for their children's sake. They all wanted to stay together, so the kids have their dad close to them as well as their mom, but the couple don't love each other anymore.
1 person likes this
@siri26 (331)
• India
29 Oct 11
It's not about outer beauty. It's about their understanding, trust on each other. Every relation lies on the trust, affection, mutual understanding. If they are strong enough no matter whether they are quiet opposite or same.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
I know about that, physical attraction comes first to some. But in my case, it is not. It usually comes second. I don't block people trying to get close to me if they're unpretty, as long as their nice and has good characteristics.. then there is a possibility of me falling in love with someone. Because sometimes we tend to fall for someone because he has a good character - though there were differences in things that interest the both of you, or say religion, culture, race, foods you eat, movies you want, hobbies you do.... But the question is - would that be possible and will it lead to a happy long term relationship if these differences exist between them? forget about the "outer beauty" now.
@siri26 (331)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hey that's based on your understanding. I know one couple who are from exactly opposite culture. But the are very happy after 10 years also. Guy is from Hindu community and the girl is from Muslim.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Sounds great! It's really good to know that they are still happy after those long years, despite their difference in religion and culture
• China
29 Oct 11
yes, i just want to say that i lost my love, i love him so much but we can not be together any more. At first, we are opposite, and i just want to keep away from him. i think i and him are not the same world person, we have the different experience, and i do not want to meet with him, but then he came to my city and call me out, this is the first time we meet, and we chat many things, but most he said i listen. Then, i want to finish, so when he got my city another time, i begin to find excuse. And in that afternoon, he waited for me all the afternoon but i have not gone. when i know this i feel very sorry to him and contact with him. At last, we become lover, but now we have say goodbye without any explain.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
What do you mean... goodbye without any explanation? Did you mean he suddenly just left and would mean he is not coming back for you? Well a lot of things did happened with both of you in the past, which shows he has done something to get you. And you also tried to do something to get to him by contacting him. But after all those things you still parted ways. That's sad, how long had you both been together?
• China
30 Oct 11
we are not in the same city, so always he come to see me at least 3 times per month, he also think change his job, go to work in my city, or i come to his city, but i refuse. Because i do not like the city he stay, when i first come there i feel very sad, i don't know why i have the feeling. Then told him let himself choose....... The reason we seperated i don't want to say any more, i just hope i can forget him and he will happy.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Well then I guess it's good that you have decided to finally move on, if that will make it easier for both of you. Goodluck and hope you will be able to find someone else.
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
I do not know if will last.. it depends on the partner love,relationship and how they are faitthful..Attraction is the best ,and can like you and want you because they attract something at your body,face attitudes and so...
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
But what about if only one person is physically attracted and the other isn't attracted that much? What about if he or she is beautiful physically but his attitude is not? Do you think it will still work?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Well, i think will not work ,and will not last..He/she beautiful,but the attitude is not acceptable..There will be troubles, fighting in the relationship because of the attitudes are not agree each one is pride and the one is not and not humble each ..
• Singapore
29 Oct 11
My husband and I are opposites. We have different interests and likes. I truly believe that we give each other the balance we all need from our differences. However, it is important in a relationship that the couple find some thing common they both like. For us, we love to read, thus we jaunt to the bookstore together. We both blog, going to the beach, watch movies and do some things together. We have our challenges, but how the relationship works out depends on how well you communicate and express and resolve any misunderstanding. it's been fun. I think our daughter gets to benefit from our different interests as well. For example, my husband can draw and play music. So I know that my daughter gets exposure in these areas. If my partner was just like me, she would not get this opportunity.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Nice to hear from someone who's actually in this kind of relationship I'm happy that your marriage with him seems to work out fine and everyone in your family is happy. You're one of those lucky couples
• Singapore
29 Oct 11
Like I said, there are times when we are not in sync, but we talk it out and work things out. So the important thing is not whether a couple has different or similar interests, hobbies and likes, it is whether they can communicate well with each other.
@WakeUpKitty (8716)
• Netherlands
29 Oct 11
Some say the opposite will work great because this is like ying/yang others say you can only have a good relationship with people who are the same as you are. I think it's boring to be with someone who is exactly like me. And if so.. why should i be with that person? What is the extra/plus that person gives to me? I am quite well and happy to be with myself, less trouble, worries, taking care of. What works for you only you can tell. Ask yourself what kind of relationship you want. The one where every day is the same? The one that you don't need to speak because the other one already knows what you think? The boring one? The safe one? The one that triggers one? The one you can be yourself at no matter what since you know your partner loves you? The one where you and your partner still have stories to tell eachother, still are interested in eachother? What is most important to you? Since one thing is clear you can't have everything since the perfect person is rare. Any realtionship will work as long as you remember what you like about your partner and if you (both) are willing to make it work.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
I guess that is the most important part of all these things you said: if both are willing to make it work, then there's a big chance the relationship will last longer.
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
I think that kind of relationship will last. If they really love each other then it will really work. I think when both have different interests, it's kind of challenging but at the same time exciting. You'll be doing a lot of new things because you have different interests which makes it more exciting and not boring.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Yes it is definitely challenging and exciting at the same time to be with someone of opposite wants and lifestyle. It is good if the person is adventurous and does not bother to try out new things. But if one isn't open about liking your interests then there enters the conflict and arguments.
@khare_1005 (1311)
• India
29 Oct 11
well i would not have been much comfortable with a person complete opposite to me.a certain degree of compatibility is a must in a relation to grow longer and deeper. opposites may attract in the beginning,but to a relation to stay alive for longer,both the partners have to mold to suit there partner.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
I also agree with you. It depends on each other, whether the other one can accept someone opposite to her or not. If at first we seem not to like the others hobbies and actions, it is always best not to prolong the relationship. ^^
1 person likes this
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Me and my husband have opposite likes,and even were like that,we are still happy being each other..In my opinion differences in likes cannot affect your relationship because in my personal experience..i learned to love whats my husband likes..
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
That's good to know that you have learned everything he likes. I guess cooperation and understanding are one of the ingredients to make that type of relationship last.
29 Oct 11
Well i guess that would really last because according to the books i read that would complete a total being of a person.Thus each of them will understand grow and feel complete.Evan if they don't have same interest but they will learn more. Each they they were together that would help them know each other and be compatibles being together.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Well yeah I guess so if one accept each differences and try to work out those differences then I guess it would help the couple have a lasting relationship.
@curmont (343)
• United States
28 Oct 11
I married my opposite and I love it... if I wanted someone who was just like me why not just be by myself after all no one can be like me better than me. It takes work and understanding to be with someone so different than you but is def doable. I think the key to being with some one different than you is the same as any relationship and that is just to always communicate and respect each other and each others point of view.
@enelym001 (8334)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
well I guess you're right respect with each other's difference is one of key to make the relationship last long.