Is It Bad By Thought?

@magic700 (100)
Canada
October 29, 2011 3:37pm CST
My friend posed an interesting question to me today. I honestly can't say I know the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt. He had asked me a question about relationship morals. His question was basically as follows: Let's say you're dating somebody, and have a friend who is married. You start to have feelings for your friend. They are married, and you're already in a relationship. You decide to just ignore these feelings, and just stay with your girlfriend, who you also have strong feelings for. You never act out based on the feelings for your married friend, but you still have them, and you can't help but wounder what it would be like if you were with them instead. You never do anything, but you think, even if only just once for a minute, about doing something, breaking up and being with your friend, or trying to. Though you've done no wrong through actions, are you still at fault? Are you bad, if only by thought and not by action? I've thought about it, and I honestly don't know. I mean, I don't think you can really blame somebody for having feelings, even if for somebody who is married, but to actually think about what it would be like to be with that person even though they are married, to think about trying to be with them, even if only by thought and not by action, doesn't that make you bad, at least to some extent? It's not like those kind of thoughts are forced, you have to be willing to allow yourself to think about that sort of thing. The emotions behind your motives for wanting to think like that might be forced, but you can still decide not to think that way. So even if you haven't done anything wrong, does thinking that make you bad? But then again, by not acting on those thoughts, by ignoring them and doing what you think is morally right, doesn't that make you good? So are you good or are you bad? What are your thoughts?
5 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
29 Oct 11
Feelings, thoughts, fantasies are normal for people. We use them daily to brighten up our lives. But... if you start liking someone else or loving that person too, I do believe there is something missing in your present relationship. So this is a good moment to think that relationship over. Personally I don't believe you can have the same strong feeling for 2 different people. So the question is: why are those strong feeling there for the 2nd person? What does that person has what the partner doesn't has of gives (anymore)? Is it attention? It's not bad also not cheating just the right time to think your life over and see what exactly is missing in your life.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
I found this normal for people to like someone who's already married. It is just in our fantasies thinking what if you are the wife or the husband of that person. We think about this because we really like them because of their physical looks or their intelligence at work. It only becomes immoral when we try to do something crazy or trying to reach out to the person in a manner that will create problem in his/her relationship to their wife/husband.
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Hi magic700! I think bad thoughts are already considered sin. But since we cannot control what will suddenly enter our mind, I guess it is not our fault if thoughts will just occur. It will be our fault when we entertain those thoughts, make it linger on our mind and worst, if we act upon it. That is my opinion :)
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
29 Oct 11
Probably not, the action can hurt two people already, not counting on how I would feel disgusted and an evil person if I break up a marriage, but thinking about sometimes one can do without even planing too, they are in love and they just catch them selves thinking about the beloved, but in time these thoughts must be stopped or something. But if it happens by accident...I don't think it's evil. Specially I think temptations are out there to make us stronger by avoiding them. Have a great day!!!
• Canada
29 Oct 11
First of all I have to agree absolutely with the first respondent. She is quite right. Fantasies are normal, and they help us get through life. So, on that ground, thinking about possible scenarios with another person is not bad, in my opinion. Also, you have to consider this. When we watch movies, and we see those sexy stars acting out scenes, don't we vicariously act the scenes with them? When you think that you are married, or in a relationship, yet you enjoy watching another couple act out scenes that you also would love to act, is there any harm in it? And also bear in mind that a lot of times the stars in the movie themselves are married in their real life. Yet we don't think it wrong to imagine ourselves in scenes with them while watching the movie. So, then, fantasizing about someone you know, who is in a relationship with someone else, is nothing but a movie you are watching in your mind. What's the harm? If it turns out that you get an opportunity to have a real affair with the person in your fantasy, and if you are tempted, then, again, as the first respondent said, you would need to think over your present relationship. Karim