why my brother has given more importance then me?

@ASHUDEEP (1774)
India
November 22, 2011 1:52am CST
hi friends always my younger brother has given more importance then me .what is the reasons? i am less talkative and nervous he was full of confidence .due to this i feel some jealous from him .even i go somewhere all people asked me about him .i feel it very bad ?but what can i do?
6 responses
@Jlyn10 (10439)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 11
What you can do is to be proud of him as he is your brother. I'm sure there are people are asking about you as well whenever he goes.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
27 Nov 11
i agree with you as i said i love my brother and i am proud on it but all these make me unhappy because my girlfriend ask me to give mobile no. of my brother.
@ravisivan (14051)
• India
27 Nov 11
What is wrong - give his phone no. your girl friend will come to you if she really loves you. If it is not your brother some other boy may be a person of interest for her in future also. That has to be overcome by your real love and affection for her and her interest in you. good day.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
27 Nov 11
ok i understand what you want to say but i loves her very much but not lucky to get her love.
@shrijsr (577)
• Bangalore, India
22 Nov 11
Hello ashudeep! This is something that happens in every house. people usually tend to like the more talkative one's who mingle well with the crowd! You don't have to feel worried about it. You also start talking to people freely and start being social to others ! That way, you too can improve your social skills and at the same time, people will like you also. But if you don't want to do this, then you will have to look for some more success in your life! When you are successful, surely people will ask for you. But, i suggest you to be the same you are, you can't change yourself for the sake of others right? Care for people who accept you the way you are! Wait for the people who will ask about you even if you are yourself, that way you will have few people around you, but the true ones.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
22 Nov 11
yes i have less confidence to talk with others .but without this i cant able to take other attention so now i started talking with others.
@shrijsr (577)
• Bangalore, India
22 Nov 11
Well, who told being silent won't give you the attention! People do notice you even if you are silent and never talk to others. In fact, they will speak a lot more about you than they do about your brother. Its just that, they tell it in front of you as they do it to your brother!
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
22 Nov 11
but i tried it lot of time and it results none.
@ravisivan (14051)
• India
22 Nov 11
Welcome to mylot. First you have to erase this feeling that you are getting less importance than your brother. This sort of jealous feeling will make you feel bad make you lose peace of mind. It may make you commit mistakes. Accept your brother as your own self and feel happy when he is appreciated. Show interest in learning, working and talking nicely to others.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
22 Nov 11
ok i also spend most time in learning.
@Jlyn10 (10439)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 11
Very good advice, ravisivan. Ashudeep, your brother is also a part of you and you should be feeling proud of having a brother who is being appreciated by others.
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
22 Nov 11
I'm fortunate that I have not experienced what you're going through, but I know some of my friends had, and it also made them feel bad. But try not to be jealous and instead be happy that your younger brother is liked by a lot. I mean, it shouldn't be a competition between the two of you. What you could do though is assess your strengths and weaknesses. You said you kind of lack confidence. Why not start improving on that one. At the end of the day, it really is all about how good you feel towards yourself.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
22 Nov 11
i also think that lack of confidence is the main reason.
@ravisivan (14051)
• India
27 Nov 11
Now that you have understood the reason -- lack of confidence -- try consciously to develop confidence. Also treat your brother also as your self. Then you will not have complex and will be able to interact normally with others. have a good day.
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
22 Nov 11
You should ask why he is more important! It might be he is not, but I think your parents should know how you feel about this. It should not matter if you are less talkative since not everybody loves people who keep talking. It would drive me crazy. I also know that many women love shy boy/men way more as the ones who are always wanted to be seen. Most important is that you feel great. That you see who you are and focus on your own talents. Believe me you do have them. I think you have courage (since you write this problem here, a problem many people have/feel), you are talkative (you write and know how to explain what you feel), you are sensitive (everybody wants a friend like that). Not it's time you do something for you (the next step): tell your parents how you feel (or give them a note). There is no need to hear or ask for an answer but what counts is that they KNOW how you feel about this. If someone on the street is asking for your brother, how he is doing say: I AM doing great too. So ignore the questions about your brother start talking about yourself. Why? Because if you don't take your space in this world people will keep ignoring you and think you find this normal.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
22 Nov 11
this is right women loves shy boys but firstly i should built confidence to talk to people normal than may i get my brother place.
@SIMPLYD (73083)
• Philippines
22 Nov 11
Since your brother is a talker, he gets to express his feelings more. That's why your parents like him more than you because he also gets to talk with them a lot and that amuses them. So , perhaps you could also try to be like him. Try to be a good conversationalist. Listen to people when they talk so you may know what to say about them too. For one to be interesting, he must be a good listener too.
@ASHUDEEP (1774)
• India
22 Nov 11
yes good idea to became talker also and the nature of brother is very good.