Should I allow my daughter to study tour out of town?

@viju0410 (2286)
India
November 24, 2011 3:16am CST
The winter is setting in most parts of our country and during this time, the schools organize picnics, fetes & festivals, exhibitions, annual events /sports and so on. This year the school authorities are organizing a study tour to Jaipur - the Pink City and the Capital city of Rajasthan. The students of IX & X standards will be going for a three day tour along with few teachers as guardian. My daughter (14 years) is very excited to go but there are few family issues which make it tougher for me & my husband to allow her. Friends, tell me should i allow her in spite of the domestic issues, or how do i convince her to think over the parent's position? Have you ever be a part of such inter state study tours? And how it was/is helpful for you as a student?
2 people like this
10 responses
@Sreekala (19172)
• India
24 Nov 11
Hello viju, You are right, the winter season is the time for picnic/tours in schools and colleges. I am not sure about the type of issues in your family so I can’t judge the situation. I have two questions for you, are you sure about the safety of your daughter on tour, can you afford the budget, if the answer is ‘yes’ then it is good to allow her to join the tour. My son is studying in 5th standard in a reputed school in this city. We have been receiving circulars from the school for adventurous journeys and outstation tours since he was in class III. I really wondered to see the notice as I am not sure about the kids, can they go out for 3-4 days without the supervision of their parents. I know teachers may be there (here not the class teachers but some teachers are taken the responsibility and they will accompany with students). This year also they are planning to visit Ahmedabad on December first week and it is 4 days program. They will go by train and the budget is Rs. 5000/- per student. I simply rejected the proposal, the reason; I just can’t imagine sending my son out for 3-4 days. May be it is a mother’s concern but I felt he is too small to go out without parents for 3-4 days. I told him you can go when you are in higher class.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Nov 11
Hi Sree, These two basic questions are troubling me as we are yet to get the complete program details. In this case too the amount if 5000 and with this amount the whole family can tour & enjoy Jaipur (from Bhopal). My husband is more worried as recently there were some accidents caused on such trips. I think our concerns are natural as mothers/parents. We mostly allowed her to join one day's picnic within the state.
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@Sreekala (19172)
• India
24 Nov 11
I too don’t have any problem if it is a one day program. I can understand the concern dear.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Nov 11
You know what, now she wants her grandmother (my MIL) to convince us for her tour. I think she is too excited to enjoy a trip with school friends. I think bringing up children and managing them in teens are tough jobs. My son is in 5th std and at present he's a couch potato and loves sitting at home & watch the cartoons. His advise to sister is 'why do you want to spent so much money', he even calculated extra Rs.700-800 as train expenses, shopping etc. It seems children are smarter nowadays than their parents. LOL.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Nov 11
Hello viju, your daughter is 14 now and at a very impressionable age. How you take decisions for her is what will matter most for her as well as you in the coming future. If budget is not an issue with you and your daughter really wants to takes this tour, please do send her by all means. That will send her a positive signal to her that you trust her completely and you have only her happiness in your mind. But before that speak to her teachers and assure yourself regarding their safety arrangements and acquaint yourself with those who are going to accompany the children on this tour. Also, speak to your daughter and establish a few ground rules, what exactly you want her to do and what you don't want her to do etc. etc. This is the time when she will be learning things on her, finding her way about, this tour may help her build her confidence, learning to adapt to different people and different situations so overall, I think this is a fine learning process. If you do not send her, she will miss it all her life, like I do, I was not sent to a similar tour when in school, because of budget constraints and I still regret not having gone. :(
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@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Nov 11
Hi kalyani, You have a point there but with me too I never got an opportunity to be a part of school tours in my childhood. Though I don't regret it, but I definitely feel my children should enjoy these trips. Yes the budget is also one of the constraint but then if finally we allow her, then I'll dictate her the terms and conditions. I am not able to understand what will be the 'take home' from such tours and travels or it is actually a fun trip for the teachers @ student's expense. May be as you said it would help her build confidence once she's out of home and a feeling of responsibility to take care of herself. Thanks for sharing.
• India
24 Nov 11
Yeah probably it could be that this is a fun trip for the teachers but then I guess its one of the perks they enjoy :) But it will definitely be a confidence building exercise for her and more than that, this will be her first time away from her parents with her friends, something that she will probably enjoy and remember. But if at all you do send her, by all means set down the rules, it is your right and prerogative, she has to follow them to the word. All the best :)
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Nov 11
hi, yes, as this would be the first time and that is also making me worry. We understand it will be in Jan '12 so we still have time to take the final call. Sure, I will set the rules for her and if possible to her close friends too...LOL.
• India
24 Nov 11
I think you can allow your daughter to go for tour. I think tour helps to refresh the mind of your girl. Which can makes your girl to refresh mind from studies. I think you can sent her to Jaipur with her friends. I think tour also helps you child to get more knowledge about places in Jaipur. So tour plays an important role.
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@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Nov 11
Thanks friend, you sound so positive. It is very true they have a lot to study, do the project works, home work and above all the coaching classes too. It will be a good break for her and she will remember it forever. Let's see if we could make it or she need to understand our concerns...
@shellster (176)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
Hi! There are things for you to consider if you can allow your child to go. ...Ensure her safety ...what are the things will do ...get the phone number of a teacher (in case of emergency) Your daughter is 14 so I think she can handle herself. If your intuition would say no, let her understand why you don't want her to go. ^_^
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Nov 11
Hello Shellster, Welcome to My lot and thanks for sharing your thought. Other than what you said, our budget is also a concern. I am actually confused but my husband is more concerned about the safety as well as how the school teachers can manage the two sessions together i.e. girls and boys of std. X & IX. We are yet to get the agenda so we don't know what they will be doing other than historic place visits.
@thesids (22448)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Nov 11
Hi Viju Read the responses and am not sure how do I help you here. When I was a student, I never went to any study tour anywhere and only once for a one day-picnic. It wasnt the monetary issues but it was simply my Zero Interest in going on such trips without my family. And I never ever felt bad or missed this "going with friends" thing. Now about your problem. I must say that the amount they are charging is higher. Remember - they are on a school study tour and Railways does give groups and study tours great discounts. Again, I read that you are near Bhopal and that makes things easier. I know the fun and expectations of your daughter. So here is my idea - When is that tour scheduled? (Dates). In case you and family is free, why not get a reservation in the same train on the same dates? That way, your daughter doesnt miss her friends on the journey, gets to visit Jaipur and again return along with her friends? Also, you and family too will have time together and the kids will enjoy the travel and their holidays
@narthan (326)
• India
24 Nov 11
I agree with you. Considering the money they are charging it looks quite expensive.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Nov 11
Hi thesid, I am getting yes and no with varied reasons too. I have discussed your idea as well with my husband & daughter too, but it depends on those specific dates of Jan '12. We still have time for the final call. Most of the students / parents already raised the issue of higher charges. Since now is the mid-term exams, hopefully the full details will be available by Dec mid/end. By the way, what happened to your style? i.e.where are the emoticons????
@thesids (22448)
• Bhubaneswar, India
26 Nov 11
Hi viju "Discussions with the Authorities" That is great news. I hope that the prices are slashed and you get to be in a better position to decide. But I still would recommend that you plan out something with the family together... I know, I am not sure about how well you all go together but hope that out of your busy schedules, a vacation like thing can be quite a beautiful experience. For the emoticons... Hmmm.... the other day when I was posting the response above, the discussion seemed to be serious and I normally dont find an emoticon for such occasions.... Mylot should add a whole new set of emoticons for the serious discussions
@dpk262006 (55919)
• Delhi, India
24 Nov 11
Hi Viju! You should allow her to go on tour or picnic. This way she will get an exposure and how to handle situations independently. Afterall this needed to be learnt by her later or sooner.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Nov 11
Thanks dpk.. I really wish we could resolve other issues and if she is off then she learn something new. I agree on sending her but the cost etc is also very much higher it seems. That also need to be considered.
@dpk262006 (55919)
• Delhi, India
2 Dec 11
Was she finally allowed to go?
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
24 Nov 11
Though our family had a lot of struggles when I was a teenager, my mother always tried to make sure that my siblings and myself had the opportunity to attend various school and church trips, in-state, inter-state and even international. Though I know that these trips did give her some financial burden, I don't think that she would have traded giving us those opportunities because we learned far more outside the classroom than we would have learned in the classroom.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Nov 11
Thanks for your valuable inputs dora. I really wish, when she grow up she too share such beautiful stories. other than finance, i also need to find out about their group, teachers and other logistics. We (me & my husband) have never been on such trips so that also make a lot of difference in deciding for our children.
@narthan (326)
• India
24 Nov 11
Being a parent it is sometimes very hard on deciding something. I still remember those days when I would go on a trip like from school. They are really worth going and this is what binds her with her class. Missing trips like this , as a kid, would actually isolate from rest of her class mates. Trust me these are few things which ultimately become memorable. It will definitely make her feel good as well. regards, narthan
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Nov 11
hi narthan, actually we don't want her to be upset if she couldn't make it. I know she is such a person who remember a lot. They visited Women's Jail years ago in our city and there she spoke to few as why they committed the crime, are they missing their normal life with family and so on. Thanks for sharing your experience & enjoy my lotting!
@SIMPLYD (76457)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
if those educational tours are really necessary for the curriculum of your daughter , then by all means permit her to go. You family issues should be set aside , and let it not hinder her from enjoying it. It's part of her growing up and learning of new things and places.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Nov 11
Hi, No, it is not necessary for her to take this tour with regard to the curriculum. It is decided by the school authorities to take them out of town. Basically they will have total freak out, i suppose. Family issues of course include the money part as they are charging 5000 INR per student. But then we still have some time to finalize the decision. Thanks for your thoughts.
• India
30 Jan 12
Such interstate study tours are very useful for students, you should send your daughter, the principal must be sending guides with the group, while teaching for 44 years in colleges i have arranged many such, it is part of the syllabus.Best of luck. Professor