Adults and being too private (secretive)

United States
December 1, 2011 12:40am CST
Hi there, I would like to know for those who are over 18 and live with parents and you are probably the age like between (25 and over) or ie: 28..., are you guys secretive? do you like telling your business to your parents? Or does parents ever browse through stuff especially if you are 27 or 28? LOL! just curious.
5 people like this
18 responses
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
3 Dec 11
I have had my grown up children living in my house every now and then but I never mess up with their business! that is for them to know and for me to keep away from it...after all they are adults...even if they are in my house I do respect their privacy as they respect mine...we don't keep many secrets from each others but we respect our own privacy.
• United States
5 Dec 11
I see what you mean. That's interesting. :D hope you are doing well.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
5 Dec 11
Yes I'm doing well thank you!
1 person likes this
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
2 Dec 11
what type of business?lol when it comes to my monkey businesses i would tell it to my parents. but when it comes to businesses of the heart i tend to be secretive. it's because they are never used to that and i am not used to that too. maybe they would know that i have a boyfriend when i will decide to get married.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
lol! i see. monkey business, depends if i should tell or not..but i see. i don't have a boyfriend, but I don't much too often about crushes. I keep those stuff to myself.. i never had a boyfriend and i feel its not my calling yet. Oh wells. lol. hope you are doing well. happy mylotting!
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
5 Dec 11
you should have one while you are a student. it's far way different if you would start dating when you work. anyway, i hope you find him soon. happy mylotting too!
1 person likes this
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
1 Dec 11
I am 20 and I share everything with my mom. Well not everything actually, there are some matters I don't like to talk about with my parents but I do share about everything with my sis.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
Ah that's cool. awesome. How old is your sis? I don't have a sis, but I have an older brother. Eh, i don't tell much to my brother - just certain things. just certain things like money or other stuff. Sorry i feel like i'm the one beating around the busy, but the more personal issue of it. Then certain barrage of annoying questions.. lol. Hope you and sis do get along too. :D
• South Korea
5 Dec 11
Me and my sis are 2 years apart. How about you and your brother? Well I guess we bond well with our sisters. I think you do too, that is if you have a cousin sis or something.. :)
1 person likes this
1 Dec 11
I lived with my parents for a few years around that time, after various disastrous things that made me poor enough to need a bit of support from them. My parents never, ever looked through my stuff. Absolutely not. They were pretty awesome, actually - there if I needed them, always interested but never nosy, helpful, loving, all that good parent stuff. Couldn't have asked for better people, to be honest. I found that, after University and before heading to France, I was a lot closer to my parents. I saw them more as friendly adults than law-giving parents, so could spend time with them laughing and joking like with anyone else. It was a good period.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
Hey there! that's awesome that your parents don't look at your stuff. LOL! But that's cool you got closer to them. I love my parents as well. I just don't like how parents can be nosy about what you do online or how much you spend or certain things. There are certain things that i could share and not share..lol How did you like University? did you enjoy it? And how was France?
1 person likes this
5 Dec 11
Mine were never really nosy. They made it clear that if we wanted to talk, we could discuss anything (absolutely anything at all) but otherwise it was none of their business. Of course, I'm talking about once I was an adult - though they'd never read a diary or nose around in my room, they wanted to know more when I was smaller (mostly for my own safety). University was good. I kinda wish I'd studied a different subject but it's nice to live away from home, discover life and all that stuff. And France was cool. I'm not much of a traveller, so it was just like anywhere else as far as I can tell.
1 person likes this
@yspmyl (3438)
• Malaysia
1 Dec 11
Hi! My parents both are consider quite a open type of person, they will not look into my stuff if it is lock inside the drawer. Unless I show it to them. And I think when I am younger, I tell almost everything to my parents, including what happens to me and my friends. As I growth older, I think I keep more things from them just because I think I need to keep something just to myself.
• United States
5 Dec 11
Hey there! that's cool. I see.I think I've been secretive when I was younger somewhat then i got more as I grew older. there's certain stuff i think i should keep. do parents ever ask what exactly how much you spend or check online personal stuff? but yeah there's certain stuff that should be kept and certain stuff you can share.
@yspmyl (3438)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 11
When I was still spending their money, of course they will want to know how much I spend the money everyday, and ever since I came out to work and using my own money, they never ask me or control how much I spend instead my mom sometime will ask me, whether I have enough money to spend. I think my mother love me too much..They also never check my online stuff, because they never learn how to go online.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (78827)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
When i was at that age, i was living in a dorm because my job is in the city at least 45 minutes from our home and getting home is difficult specially when i have to do an overtime. Hence, because of that, my parents don't know my activities in the city. Though, they would advise me not to do this and that whenever i go home on weekend. Overall, they just let me live my own, because anyway i am already an adult. In fact, they don't like my husband then for me, but still i married him.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
Hey I've never lived in a dorm in my life. I wonder what was that like. Sorry to hear they don't like your husband. Why is that? do your parents still get along with him? lol.
@SIMPLYD (78827)
• Philippines
5 Dec 11
They don't like my husband then, because he was younger by 6 years than me. Then, he got laid off from his job but eventually got one. But as they saw him so responsible as a husband to me and as a father to our daughter, they eventually liked him.
1 person likes this
@keihimekawa (2010)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
LOL! My mom does especially when it's bills XD Then she confronts me with it. I'm 27 and I still live with my parents. I used to have this "I wanna live on my own and be independent" dream but I've outgrown it. True, I still want to have my own pad but I still love being around my parents (though my mom and aunt argue a lot). As for personal business, I tend to tell them what happened that day. Interesting stuffs over dinner and such but when it comes to personal problems (financial and.or love) I tend to solve them on my own. The time when I broke up with my BF of 4 years, I haven't told my mom anything but eventually she allowed some time to pass and when she noticed that I'm ok, she then asked me about it. Being over-protective... Well... My mom allows me to hang out with my friends (I'm 27 for Heaven's sake!) but there are times when she say "Get home early!" or "Watch your bag and look both ways before crossing) Maybe it's because I'm their only child so it's a bit difficult for her to simply let me go :P
• United States
5 Dec 11
hey there! great insight. lol, i still live with parents too and I'm 28 turning another year older..I do feel the thought for the "I wanna live on my own and be independent" but my parents especially my mom will ask "do you think you are ready for that? do you have a decent job" staying home here you get benefits and no need to pay for anything..That's cool you still like being around with parents. Its also free to earn stuff there. As for personal business, it depends. I would have to make an excuse or beat around a bush for certain stuff. speaking of personal business like bills, do you like show your mom your online accounts? would you feel comfortable sharing your online banking with your mom or dad? or like if you happen to log online and they go to your room to see what you are doing? Yes, i get that too about my mom telling me be home early, not too late. Drive safe, becareful. lol.
• Philippines
5 Dec 11
I don't show my mom my online accounts since she's not interested in them :P She's a bit cyberphobic so I'm the only person at home who knows how to use a computer. I kept telling her that it's high time that she learn but she just refuse to listen! But there are times when I'm doing stuff online, she would peek at my laptop and I just let her do it to her heart's content :D
1 person likes this
@deliar (609)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 11
i am nineteen years old and i think i am adul€t, tough many people think i am still a kid. i am secretive person, many people do not know about what i have done, about my life. they just see me from the outside, they do not know abour me, they only know 20 percent about me. From my parent,i am little open. i am just telling something that really important and relate to my parents, and the another still being my secret. i think become secretive person have good side. we can get what we want and another person can't bother our business. we can free without thinking about the other. but the bad side, we will get so many wrong about statement that really bad for us.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
hey there, I'm 28 years old but i feel or look young. i see you mentioned you are secretive person, same here. not people know to much about me or life. they see outside of me. I also feel that others can be secretive too, but I'm not a person that is blunt and saying stuff. i see what you mean. i think there's certain stuff to be shared or told and certain stuff that don't need to tell.. hope you are doing well. take care.
@devi53 (348)
• India
3 Dec 11
Hai webgirl, I am an aged woman even though i think too much involving their young children's matter is not a good practice.I don't like to ask my children (they are 24 and 26) always what you are doing. My mother in-law always ask me why you are doing this and that so i am not interested to disturb my children asking questions, because I suffered a lot, so I realize the young generations difficulty.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
Hey there! hope you are doing well. I have a brother that does call sometimes mostly when at work asking what am I doing that kind of tihng. Some nosy questions....bleh. the why this and that questions continously kinds of daunts me the way they ask it or how they ask it. lol
• Philippines
2 Dec 11
hello webgirl, I am over 27 now and I was living independently from my parents since I was 18 years old. But I can imagine what you are saying. For sure, if I was with my parents when I was twenty five years old, she would go over some of my stuffs, or I would just keep it so that she wouldn't find it. I know she would be curious with what I do and I am secretive. Even now, she would often ask me where I am or why I am there, and I would just ask her why. I really don't like being asked always. Have a great day ahead of you and have fun mylotting!
• United States
5 Dec 11
Hey there! thanks for your input. I'm still 28 and living with parents. I can see some benefits but some cons. I feel safe at home but at same time I feel i need independence. I wonder if it would be better to be neighbors with parents..lol. I see you don't like being asked..certain asking questions from parents - why are you there, what are you doing, why? some are okay questions but i can sense the tone or personality, especially my brother when asking questions. what are you doing...blah blah blah blah.. hope you are enjoying mylotting! take care. :D
@GemmaR (8526)
2 Dec 11
I am 21 and still live with my parents just while I finish my course at university. When I have finished the course, I am hoping that I will be able to get my own place and move out of their home within the first year. I tell them a lot of things, but do like to have some kind of privacy as well otherwise I think that I would go mad. My family do not come into my room without me inviting them to, and this is good because it means that there is always somewhere that I can go in my house without worrying about being disturbed or anything like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
How do you like your course at your university? i wish you good luck on finding your own place. I don't have enough money to find own place. I like some privacy because there's need of too much questioning...or digging in.. Have they ever see you go online and watch you do mylot or check emails? lol
@wulania (1528)
• Indonesia
2 Dec 11
everyone has a privat space in life. but being too privat is not good enough. we need to share our mind or problem to others especially to the one that can be trusted so that it's possible getting some solutions or new ideas from another one. I like telling my business to my parents coz I love share my experience and getting new experience.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
That's cool. I see another perspective. Thanks for sharing. I don't know why i'm kinda too private. but then again, I feel bad that I am in some way. I don't tell too much business unless necessary. Thanks for your perspective. :D happy mylotting!
@vishy229 (27)
1 Dec 11
i think there are somethings which cant be told to parents so i think every teenager has some secret things that cant be told to at least parents... n my parents give me my space n dont search my things n thats the way it should be...
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
That's cool, I agree. :D Certain things to share and certain things to not share.
@lovedude (4456)
• India
1 Dec 11
well.. you must not be from India.. in India people stay with their parents life time.. most of them share their feelings, sadness, happiness with parents and family members.. :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
LOL! I'm from US. But that's cool. I may share somethings with my parents but some things it depends..
@Iemon1 (123)
• Singapore
1 Dec 11
I seldom tell stuffs to my parents unless it is really serious. My parents doesn't browse thru my stuff as they know it is wrong to invade my privacy. They are really very understanding :D
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
Ah I see, that's cool. There's certain things I think parents can be nosy and not nosy. But what I don't like is when I'm web surfing, mylotting and my mom sees what I'm doing. It feels ackward. lol..Do you have your mom watch you for 4 minutes doing something online like check emails?? strange...lol. But now hopefully my parents don't do that. other wise i would feel the need to do something extra like more independence in some way..
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
For me yes I'm secret specially if my parents don't want to be what I'm doing like married to my husband they get mad in him.
• United States
5 Dec 11
lol I wonder if your parents are nosy what you do on the mylot or internet stuff..lol. oh wells.. hope you are doing well.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
My mom would not ask me. I am the one telling her most about my life. I just wanted to share those private things about me and my love life. She's not only a mom for me, but she's like a best friend for me. Maybe one reason is that I don't have a sister to talk about such things. And I don't always have the chance to talk to my best friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
That's cool you share things with your mom. Nice insight on being open with mom. I can be open with mine but there are somethings I may not tell much about.In your opinion, Do you think there's certain things not to share about? sorry to ask.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
I know someone who is facing such problem. My friend who is 26 yrs old- and still treated by her like 13 yrs old. I have teen kids,but I am not guarding them like Jaworski. As long as I know where they are going and they will tell me about their activities -it's fine with me. I want to build a trust between me and my kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 11
That's cool you want to build trust with you and your kids. I guess there's a limit on things or certain bounderies. How are your kids by the way? ;) hope all is well.