Why sometimes I think trying new things is a bad thing
January 13, 2012 9:01am CST
Aloha, Mylot! Lately I've been feeling a tad disappointed with myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, but just sort of bored with life! It feels to me like I'm not really accomplishing anything with each day passing by. Adults would tell me "oh, that's incredibly stupid and nonsensical coming from a 16-year-old boy's mouth". Well, what's the logical thing to do in such a situation? Try new things, right? Sure, sounds like a plan, but a flawed one. For example, let's say I decide to start practising karate, basketball or some other activity that requires a fair amount of my time. At first I enjoy doing it. It's a thrill, it's something interesting and it helps me socialise, too. But what I forgot in the first place is, this activity is also a responsibility for me. After I tell someone that I've started doing something new, their expectations instantly rise. And I HATE that. If I don't feel like going one or two times, I will be bombarded with questions like "Don't you have practice today?" or "Why didn't you go do your extracurricular activity today?". This quite literally annoys the hell out of me. The sad fact is, no matter how hard I try, I still want to meet with people's expectations. Because if I don't, I feel that I'll just be proving to myself that I'm no good and should be spending my entire life behind the computer like a pathetic and stereotypical basement dweller. I do not want to be that. I want to be somebody. But also I want to keep my freedom, I want to be able to choose what I want to do with my life without annoying people judging me... The worse part is, I try not to care, it usually works for a while, but eventually I fail miserably yet again and THIS MAKES ME FEEL BAD. In simple words, it sucks for me. I don't show it on the outside, but that sure doesn't help me a lot. I feel like I'm spending my time carelessly and inside I feel like just letting it all go, but the idea that I'll be disappointing others and the fact that I'll waste my time if I use it otherwise are making me reconsider. That's about as "beta" as a male can get, most likely. I want to develop, but in such circumstances, I simply cannot. It's literally a nightmare for me.
13 Jan 12
I can relate to the whole I am the loser behind the computer screen all of the time feeling. I am 19 and I just feel so OLD. Like clock's a ticking, and I haven't found my thing yet. What is my thing?! coz I don't want to be the typical office drone. I am experiencing end of teenage life crisis. My advice: just try out stuff and if it's not your thing, it is not your thing. Besides, I believe if you found something you won't mind doing constantly all your life, you have won the lottery so go crazy and try out as much as you can.
13 Jan 12
It's not about being 16 years old or 60 years old but about life experiences. You have to do (try out) new things to get these experiences. Well years ago we did. So we travel, meet new people, new ideas, discussions etc. With the internet it's way easier to get new life experiences. There is plenty to read, to discus about to hear about other people's their point of view. As you already said: no matter what you do or say you will always meet with people's expectations. You will never be able to make them all happy. So my advice is to start making yourself happy. Ignore the rest. It's your life and you have to live it your way. Perhaps it's not the best in the eyes of others but that doesn't matter since this is your life not theirs. Perhaps you will make " mistakes" but also this is not important because these are your mistakes and they will give you life experiences as well. Might be you will regret some of your choices sooner or later (in years) but also that is not important. What counts is what you decide now. You live now so make the best out of it. Don't make things worser as it is. Start living your way and enjoy it and be you! It's the biggest give you can give yourself. I wish you courage.