put him on the first plan
By alina
@swissheart (6482)
Romania
January 25, 2012 4:39pm CST
I can't understand myself sometimes...I was so stupid to put him always on the first plan when he didn't deserve that. if my friends asked me if I want to go out I would say no..because I wanted to spend time with him. I even put my family on the second plan for him for the same reason. and this is wrong...relationships come and go,,,family and friends ( or at least some of them) are forever
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
27 Jan 12
Don't be overly hard on yourself. That is how it is with most relationships. Because it is important for us to spend time with the person that we are with. But we also have to make time for family and friends. And life usually is so busy that it's hard to organize and do all that we would like to.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
27 Jan 12
I don't think is hard to make time for everyone as long as you want to. but this was the porblem...I didn't want to. I wanted to be 24/7 with him without realiseing that this in the end suffocated him
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
28 Jan 12
this is what I wanted...for us to stay friends even if we broke up...but after this happened he started commenting about me thing which I couldn't tolerate. I'm sorry that from being best friends before we started our relationship we came to not talking at all right now
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
28 Jan 12
I'm sorry to hear that this happened in your relationship. We all I guess at times need our little space. A little time for ourselves. I hope that you both were able to still remain friends. Having a relationship end can really be difficult for both individuals.
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
26 Jan 12
It is good to hear that you realized now about your boyfriend who is not deserving putting him in the priority list. You shouldn't prioritize him because he is just your boyfriend. You know what, my boyfriend is just third to my priority list. My top priorities are my studies, family and myself. Well, I hope you will find a man who will deserve by your love and who will prioritize you also.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
27 Jan 12
it's good that you think like that. I was so silly and stupid I can say...to put him first . I'm the type of person who likes to five everything. I can't help doing that. but he didn't do the same way. he would always put me second...even third. he would rather go out with his friends than with me
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
Hello swissheart! How are you today? How is your relationship with your boyfriend? Well, I do hope everything is find with you. Don't be so silly and stupid enough just for your boyfriend. Enough is enough. Give chance to yourself and make yourself on a priority list. Not your boyfriend. He even puts his friends first before you. That is insane! He shouldn't treat you like that.
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
25 Jan 12
Well swissheart that okay, you didnt know that you would wind up being disappointed by him. Its so common to want to spend all the time you possible can with someone that you care about. And I suspect that your friends and family understand and will still be there for you.
~C~
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
27 Jan 12
I had a big fight with my family over this.I was supposed to go home and spend the national day with them...but I preffered to stay with him...which was a big mistake because he went home with the guys to celebrate and he left me home alone.
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
26 Jan 12
at least you knew this thing. others are not aware that they are doing like this. in your case, you are aware and that you are trying to put things in perspective to come up with a better scenario. while deciding whether you will change or not, you can consider to assess the worthiness of your boyfriend to spend exclusive time with him. otherwise, you are giving up so many things for him, and for nothing.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
27 Jan 12
we broke up ... and I'm sorry that I gave up so many things for him. when the girls asked me if I wanted to go out I would say no...I would rather stay at home with him. but the problem is that he didn't feel the same. he would always put me second
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
26 Jan 12
Most women do this. No matter if the guy deserves it or not. On the other hand men seldom care. If they say they come they stay away if their friends ask them to go out. A big part does not even take the time to give you a short message so you can go out yourself (btw if you treat them the same way they get angry).
I think we women have to learn to live our own life, make our own plans because wee too frequently we end up (as soon as we have a relationship) without family, friends. And if the relationship ends we are standing there alone.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
27 Jan 12
as you said he didn't find the time to send me a message and I would worry for him or where he might be. if I told him to go out he would say no but instead of it he would go out with his friends. he didn't let me do the same because he was afraid I might be cheating on him. instead of it all he did was try to separate me from my friends. he even forbid me to speak to my best friend who is practically like the sister I never had. all he did was try to make me depend on him and in a way he made it
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
6 Mar 12
I understand if you will put him first before your friend but when it come to your family and hi,they must be equal because the time will come that he will be also part of you family. You must also give some attention on other things and don't make him as your world. Because there are also possibility that you can disappointed in your expectation for him and you will hurt so bad because you make him as your world. Its only an advice from me because i also experience putting him always at my first plan.
